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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 48: "Birthing Center: 1 vs 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 48: "Birthing Center: 1 vs 5 Stars"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello Chelsey. Hello listeners. Welcome to Review That. Review the podcast dedicated to review it.

[00:00:38] Chelsey Donn: reviews. We're just like Cisco Neibert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we write and review those hilarious skating and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:50] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey, Donn,

[00:00:51] Chelsey Donn: And that's TreyGerrald

[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.

[00:00:56] Chelsey Donn: Review Queen.

[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: If you like what you're hearing and you love our show and you want to show us some support, you can get bonus and exclusive content, including our members only after show podcast. When you join our Patrion slash Review That Review. Hey Chelsea, happy mother's day. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

[00:01:18] Trey Gerrald: It's another double hitter week.

[00:01:21] Chelsey Donn: I know all the holidays happening at once. I will take your happy mother's day because I'm a dog mom, as you know, Yes, we're having a lovely mother's day. I'm working on training Goldie, Stella to not bark. So if you hear a bark, occasionally, you know that we're working on it. Okay. And it's hard being a mom.

[00:01:41] Trey Gerrald: It's a work in progress. You're a mom with many plates in the air. Uh, we are going to focus today's episode and the celebratory energy towards mother's day. So I wanted to get us kicked off with my absolute favorite Jewish mother joke, which is actually about a Jewish grandmother. So Chelsey, this is my absolute favorite.

[00:02:01] Trey Gerrald: Here we go. A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his new wife. You come in the front door of the apartments. I am apartment 3 0 1. There is a big panel at the front door with your elbow push button 3 0 1. I will buzz you in common side and the elevator is on the right.

[00:02:26] Trey Gerrald: Get in. And with your elbow push third floor. When you get out, I am on the left with your elbow. Hit my door. Grandma. That sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow.

[00:02:40] Trey Gerrald: What you coming? Empty handed.

[00:02:44] Chelsey Donn: Ah, that's funny. Oh my God. In the time of COVID I was like, that's so considered the grandma, it'd be like, don't touch those buttons there.

[00:02:54] Trey Gerrald: Good point. It actually hits a little different now with

[00:02:57] Chelsey Donn: Right, but that's funny. I agree. You should never show up empty handed. That's a Shonda.

[00:03:02] Trey Gerrald: Shonda.

[00:03:03] Chelsey Donn: What a Shanda.

[00:03:06] Lodge A Complaint

[00:03:06] Trey Gerrald: Well Chelsey, now that we've gotten some giggles out, is there anything that. you want to complain about? That's sort of moms centric.

[00:03:11] Chelsey Donn: We did talk about this a little bit off the air about maybe bringing on complaints that our mothers had for mother's day. So, you know, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. And then I had a conversation with my mom and I found one.

[00:03:25] Chelsey Donn: So,

[00:03:27] Trey Gerrald: all right.

[00:03:27] Trey Gerrald: Well, let's hear it. So does your mom have anything that she would like to.

[00:03:31] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:03:32] Trey Gerrald: About VAU.

[00:03:34] Chelsey Donn: She does we do. I agree with this complaint actually. So my mom would like to complain about the gosh darn prices of groceries. These. Which I will concur. Listen, when I was like a kid and my grandfather would be like, when I was your age, I could see a movie for Nicole. His voice did not sound like that.

[00:03:56] Chelsey Donn: But like when he was exactly, when he would say that, I was like, okay, whatever. But now I'm just like, listen, the prices are going up. The wages are not going up. My mom was like, she said, she went to the grocery store to get dinner for two nights. Over a hundred dollars. That's a lot of money. Like when you're buying groceries, you're supposed to save money.

[00:04:20] Chelsey Donn: That's the whole idea. If I'm going to go to the grocery store and spend a hundred dollars. Well, then I don't know. I feel like I should be getting another check from the government or something to make up for the income that I'm not making so that I can afford groceries. I don't know. Something is very wrong in the city.

[00:04:37] Chelsey Donn: There's a kink in the.

[00:04:39] Trey Gerrald: It's re that is funny because I do feel like that's such a, um, I feel like it is such a mom complaints about like, what's going on with the prices, like in my day. And it's funny, cause my sister actually visited with her husband and two children for the first time they came to him. The house. And so I bought a bunch of groceries for the kids ahead of time, in case, you know, kids are a little finicky and you don't want them to have a lot of variables in play.

[00:05:04] Trey Gerrald: And my sister was like oh, do you think you'll mention me on the podcast? And I was like, well, I'm sure. Cause it's the mother's day episode, but here we go, you just helped me segue to say hi to my sister, Mandy, because I was buying these like, you know, mini pancakes, chicken nugget. It's like, how is this so expensive?

[00:05:21] Chelsey Donn: The inflation rate has gone up so much. And I don't know that if it's like, we were agregious Slee underpaying employees that were making the product before. Like I'm not really sure where the problem originated. So I want to leave space for like, maybe we're playing catch up, but I don't love that.

[00:05:40] Chelsey Donn: That's like falling on the consumer

[00:05:43] Trey Gerrald: Well, I also have a gas here because I remember like canned vegetables were so popular too. Like our parents' generation. It was like a new invention after the depression, it was like a way to stock up. And I think that ended up being cheaper than today where it's like, that's not on trend. Everything is fresh.

[00:06:01] Trey Gerrald: There's only so much farm land. There's only so much lots of land where you can grow the fresh corn, you know, it's like, I feel like. Exponentially get more expensive on top of the fact of inflation, et cetera, et cetera. I don't know. I'm speaking out of my butt here, but yes, I do even recognize that as a 30 something where it's like, wait, I'm paying like $7 for an iced coffee.

[00:06:21] Trey Gerrald: This is crazy. You know, like I remember when water bottles started and that was like, who's going to pay for a water bottle. You go to get a water bottle at a Broadway show. It's like six bucks. So Yeah. Anyway.

[00:06:35] Chelsey Donn: Anyway. Yes. I know a lot, a lot of, a lot of things are changing. What can we say, prices being one of them. So what's your mom's complaint,

[00:06:43] Trey Gerrald: So wait, what is your mom's name? So that was Randy's complaint. So I'm going to give you Peggy's complaint. So I have a weekly phone date with my mom and, uh, you know, we don't always meet exactly that commitment, but, um, I always call her and it. feels like pulling teeth to get her to call. Eh, regardless, you know, she is the parent, so she wants the child to call, but I can't go through a single phone call without my mom's saying, why don't you call me more?

[00:07:12] Trey Gerrald: You should call, give me a call. Why don't you call me, call me. Can you call me? And I'm like, you can call me too. She'll be like, haven't heard from you. So I figured you were busy and I'm like, well, you could call me and find out, or you can text me. It's really cute. When my mom does text. 'cause it'll just be like something about days, of our lives or it'll be like her dog.

[00:07:32] Trey Gerrald: But anyway, my complaint is a very standard mother's complaints. I haven't heard from you. Why haven't you called me? Which I understand the power dynamic. I think if I had a child, I would expect the child to call me as well, but it's just funny to me how it's a two way, you know, wire. And so like if one end doesn't call him the other could call.

[00:07:50] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I just want to call out like your non-Jewish privilege for a second and say, That I have to call my mom every day. And if I don't, it's like sound the alarm call the police. Something is very, very wrong. It's not just like you didn't call yesterday. It's like you put that on me. I thought you were in a ditch because it was 24 hours, you

[00:08:14] Trey Gerrald: Well, there's also that other joke that I almost told today where the son calls and says, mom, how's it going? She goes, I'm been sitting in the dark for 48 hours. Why what's wrong with the electricity? Nothing you just didn't call. I didn't want to get up and turn the light on for failure. I'd miss the qual.

[00:08:29] Chelsey Donn: Oh God.

[00:08:30] Trey Gerrald: Anyway. That's Peggy's complaint. I wonder if any other mothers feel that complaint? Um, well, that's fine.

[00:08:36] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Well, something different from mother's day.

[00:08:39] Trey Gerrald: Exactly. All right. Well, should we like move forward and do a special edition versus episode Chelsey? Would you like to go head to head?

[00:08:48] Chelsey Donn: Without hesitation. I do. I would like to go ahead, Trey.

[00:08:51] Trey Gerrald: All right, let's do it. Mythos.

[00:08:54] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch.

[00:08:56] UCLA HEALTH: BirthPlace Westwood

[00:08:56] Trey Gerrald: All right. So as I was saying today as a vs episode, meaning we are going to cover both a one star and a five star Yelp review on the same topic, the UCLA health birthplace Westwood.

[00:09:11] Chelsey Donn: That's right for this versus episode, Trey is reading the one-star and I am reading the five star. So to determine who reads first, we got to flip back quote.

[00:09:23] Trey Gerrald: I'm going to say tails. Oh, it's heads.

[00:09:26] Chelsey Donn: Uh, right. That means we're going to hear the five star review burst. So just to get us started, here's a little bit of background on UCLA health birth place.

[00:09:36] Chelsey Donn: Westwood. It is one of Southern California's most comprehensive maternity centers. The birth place provides family centered care and offers private rooms along with a wide range of services to make your birthing experience and event to chair it. There are elegant labor delivery. Recovery rooms are designed to recreate the feel of a home or a hotel room.

[00:10:02] Chelsey Donn: Okay. So there are 18 reviews for UCLA health birth place. Westwood. It is mouthful on Yelp with an average score of 3.5, kind of right. A little bit above average. So with that being said, let's get started with this birth is.

[00:10:23] 5 Star Review

[00:10:23] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:10:27] Chelsey Donn: All right. So as we mentioned, I am reading the five star. My five serve you is written by Alexandra. Oh, and this is Alexandra owes five-star experience. Here we go. Like many first time moms, I felt an enormous amount of anxiety over where and how I wold give birth. For months, I went back and forth on whether I wanted to give birth at home or in a hospital.

[00:10:57] Chelsey Donn: I interviewed doctors, midwives, doulas, et cetera, and spent a good amount of time exploring various options. But every time I felt the most supported by Dr. Aparna should jar at UCLA. Every question I had, she took her time and answering, even when I asked it three times and whether my questions had to do with environment, interventions, philosophies, or practices, time and time again, I was impressed by UCLA stance.

[00:11:32] Chelsey Donn: To me, they seem to follow an evidence-based approach that balanced the health and safety of the baby with the comfort experience of. Even still, I wasn't sure how things would pan out when I actually checked into the hospital. It's now been two weeks since the birth of my daughter. And every day I felt grateful for the experience I had at UCLA Westwood from the care provided by the labor delivery nurses in particular, a huge thank you to April for her compassion and keeping me centered present throughout my.

[00:12:11] Chelsey Donn: To the importance placed on my birth intentions plan to the incredible care provided by Dr. Sridhar and finally, the resources and support provided by the nurses postpartum in particular, a huge thank you to Jocelyn for guidance around nursing and postpartum life. As a whole, there is nothing we would change about our daughter's entry into this.

[00:12:43] Trey Gerrald: Wow. Alexandra. Oh.

[00:12:45] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So I tried to lean into that one spelling error as the top. Yeah. There's nothing they will. Yeah. They just spelled what wrong.

[00:12:54] Trey Gerrald: How'd they spell it.

[00:12:55] Chelsey Donn: W O L D.

[00:12:57] Trey Gerrald: I love that Alexandra wrote this two weeks later, like that was still so present.

[00:13:03] Chelsey Donn: she's literally postpartum, probably like breastfeeding her baby. No judgment if she's not, but you know, that's how I'm picturing it in my head. Not to be gross, but she's probably,

[00:13:13] Trey Gerrald: the other

[00:13:14] Chelsey Donn: yeah, exactly. Like writing this while taking care of a newborn

[00:13:19] Trey Gerrald: I also appreciate the use of the phrase birth intention plan.

[00:13:24] Chelsey Donn: Ms. Hill.

[00:13:25] Trey Gerrald: I mean, like I know nothing about childbirth. I know nothing about babies. Like it's never been anything of interest in my life. Obviously I've gone through the experience with my sister and I think what is so high pressure. From observing as that, you do have an intention that you want to have met.

[00:13:44] Trey Gerrald: And so I feel the depth of that desire with Alexandra saying birth intention plan and how they kept honoring it. And that it was like the top of the priority chain, which I think is beautiful because then you don't have to worry that someone isn't taken care of how you want this experience to go. Like, you know, I mean, it really feels like Alexandra was really taking.

[00:14:06] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, especially because this is, you know, this is Los Angeles. And even though some people might kind of roll their eyes at the whole, like I was deciding whether or not I was going to do the at-home birth or be in a hospital, I really feel like that's, that is something that will come up for other moms in this area.

[00:14:24] Chelsey Donn: So I liked that they discuss, listen. I also was thinking about doing a non-traditional birth. I would imagine that other mothers who are reading these reviews might say, oh, that sounds a lot, like my experience. And I've really wanted to go in this direction, but maybe I should open myself up to this other thing.

[00:14:42] Chelsey Donn: Maybe I would be surprised like Alexandra was

[00:14:46] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I think that right off. Cause I had took a note about that too. I think right at the top, they did research for months like preparing which option would be best suited for them.

[00:14:55] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Which make sense for a first time, mom?

[00:14:58] Trey Gerrald: Exactly. And I think that instantly creates a trustworthiness for me. Even if it isn't ultimately the choice I would make, but the fact that they did so much due diligence. And like you just said the first time mom, I think that was present in like every single review that I read. There's so much pressure when you're a first-time mom that you're going to not get it right.

[00:15:18] Chelsey Donn: A hundred percent. And also just like the added stress of that experience. I remember I also was there for all of my sister's births. She was very stressed at first time when she had to divert from the plan that she had. It was extremely stressful. So I think that it was smart of Alexandra. Oh. To go in and like, I don't know that the doctor prepared her for that.

[00:15:45] Trey Gerrald: Absolutely. I also really think I'm adding value and unique information points here for Alexandra. Oh. Because they shout out to specific individuals, April and Jocelyn. I love when that happens and these sorts of reviews, because it's sort of gives me a radar for who to sort of latch onto if I was in the experience.

[00:16:06] Chelsey Donn: Even if nothing else, it could be like, oh, I read about you Jocelyn. I'm so glad I get to meet you in person. I actually decided to go here because it seems like you were a really great person. So giving a shout out to the individual, especially in this day, in this day and age, it all days, and age, when these people do work so hard.

[00:16:28] Chelsey Donn: I imagine if I was Jocelyn, it would make my day to see, oh, I actually was so impactful in this person's experience. What I was struggling to decide as I was reading through this Review! myself being that I know the one star review is coming because this is a birthing center. And because we're talking specifically about this one doctor, do we think that this is a common experience?

[00:16:51] Chelsey Donn: Do we think that if I'm going to this birthing center and I read this Review!. The based off of what Alexandra is saying, I can assume that that's going to be my experience. I don't know.

[00:17:02] Trey Gerrald: It's a really great question, honestly, at face value. I think I read Alexandra owes Review! and I think I'm sold. I mean, it's better than a commercial on television, you know, so.

[00:17:15] Chelsey Donn: the variables are there. And I think that they're, we can't ignore them. Like

[00:17:19] Trey Gerrald: And I think that Alexander, oh, points out the variables. They explicitly dictate the delivery doctor, the two nurses or whoever, April and Jocelyn. Also the fact that it's two weeks later and Alexandra says every single day, they've thought about how they wouldn't change anything. I mean, I don't even know that I would consider if it would be a fluke because I'm so sold.

[00:17:43] Trey Gerrald: By how five starry this experience was for Alex. I don't know Alex, why don't I just

[00:17:50] Chelsey Donn: It's a guy, Alex, we can call it. We can Al pal, if I was about to give birth and I was deciding where I was going to do it. And they saw that this place had an overall 3.5. What I skip and move on?

[00:18:02] Trey Gerrald: I mean,

[00:18:02] Chelsey Donn: I might.

[00:18:03] Trey Gerrald: a good question. I know it is, it is alarming to me that it is right in the.

[00:18:07] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:18:08] Trey Gerrald: But I also think anytime you're getting opinions or reviews, it's like, you're going to get the two extremes. So landing in the middle is maybe sort of like, doesn't push it either way. I don't

[00:18:19] Chelsey Donn: I guess just to like sway things for me, because I feel like there's so many things about the Review! other than the world that are so great is I think if I was going to read this Review! based on the fact that the overall was 3.5, I would be searching for consistencies amongst the other reviews to determine whether or not.

[00:18:38] Chelsey Donn: Is it just that Alexandra super lucked out with her experience and everything went off without a hitch and that that's not common. And I think I'm, I'm leaning into, I don't know what's going to happen when I hear Trey's Review! but you know, if I was just isolating this particular Review! I think I would feel safe, but is that a false safety?

[00:18:59] Chelsey Donn: I don't know.

[00:19:00] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I think we're getting to the point here of like, if you want to zero in on your birth intention plan and you're doing a research for so many years, you are going to be not judging this off of one Review!, but I would use this as the common denominator. To compare against, because I think it's such a strong, Review!

[00:19:20] Trey Gerrald: the only thing missing here is humor. I don't know, like if it's appropriate in the context, but I don't know. I think I could crowd Alexandra. Oh, how are you feeling?

[00:19:29] Chelsey Donn: I feel I can crown Alexandra. Yeah. I think that you're right. I really like that point that you just made before we sign off, but I liked the point that you just made about how Alexandra has created a really nice baseline for us to go off of. So good point try. All right. Let's crown Alexandra.

[00:19:44] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:19:52] Chelsey Donn: All right. The Queens or unanimous four and a half crowns, four and a half crowns. All right, try you go first. Why four and a half for Alex?

[00:19:58] Trey Gerrald: I almost want to say five, but we're missing a little humor. I don't know. I think the wood misspelling is so minimal. It doesn't matter, but it is curious. It wasn't caught, but I don't know. I'm very taken by the fact that it's been two weeks later, you've just given birth. You're like, so in awe. Remarkable your experience was, I don't think that can go unnoticed and it really does make me want to have the experience that Alexander had.

[00:20:24] Trey Gerrald: I mean, that's the whole point of these reviews, you know, I just took the half off because I think there's so many variables that have to be in place. You have to have April and Jocelyn on shift at the same time as Dr. and let you know. But to me it would be my common denominator, my, um, ground. What did you say?

[00:20:40] Trey Gerrald: You said that. My Baseline. for comparing. And so I said four and a half A'. Yeah.

[00:20:46] Trey Gerrald: Okay. What about you? Why four and a half for you?

[00:20:48] Chelsey Donn: I feel like, you know, it just takes a little extra sauce to make a full Review Queen for me. But I will say like, if this were American idol, I would be giving Alexandra that golden ticket to Hollywood because she crossed off most of the things that are on our list in terms of being authentic. Like she's caring for a first time.

[00:21:10] Chelsey Donn: Mom, who might be reading this Review! so great job, Alexandra. You're nearly a Review Queen. And thanks for your contribution, UCLA should be very proud.

[00:21:20] Trey Gerrald: Exactly. Yeah, I would, I would frame this on the

[00:21:23] Chelsey Donn: I would too.

[00:21:24] Trey Gerrald: All right, well, let's take a quick break. And when we come back, we will hear an entirely different side of the story.

[00:21:31] Chelsey Donn: God. And this is the part I always get so nervous about, but I can't wait. All right, let's do it.

[00:21:35] Trey Gerrald: be right back.

[00:21:40] VOICEOVER: We'll be right back.

[00:22:09] 21:51 AD BREAK[00:22:09] 21:53 Meryl-Go-Round

[00:22:09] Trey Gerrald: It's game time, right? Chelsey. Let's take our quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round. '

[00:22:15] VOICEOVER: I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days, I feel like

[00:22:25] Chelsey Donn: Here's the deal. Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible

[00:22:38] Trey Gerrald: Just like queen Meryl Streep, who does it all.

[00:22:40] Chelsey Donn: before the clock runs out. All right, try. Whereas Huizenga from Two,.

[00:22:45] Trey Gerrald: Today I have a one-star zinging. Review! from Zoc for an OB GYN in New Jersey. And this was written by our woah A'.

[00:22:59] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:23:00] Trey Gerrald: and Arwa writes never again.

[00:23:04] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:23:05] Trey Gerrald: All right. I am going for a goal here. It's a two word. Review! I'm going to slay. My points are going to crown. I'm crowning.

[00:23:15] Chelsey Donn: Let's do this together. Try it. I'm going to be as quick as possible with my flips. And I think we should try to break a record. Let's burn a new record here today on

[00:23:25] Trey Gerrald: I'm in the stirrups and I'm ready to go.

[00:23:28] Chelsey Donn: do it.

[00:23:29] VOICEOVER: Three, Two, One, GO!.

[00:23:33] Chelsey Donn: Feldman who are

[00:23:34] Trey Gerrald: Never again,

[00:23:36] Chelsey Donn: teen drama?

[00:23:38] Trey Gerrald: again,

[00:23:40] Chelsey Donn: Game show

[00:23:41] Trey Gerrald: never again, never again,

[00:23:49] Chelsey Donn: drama, superhero,

[00:23:54] Trey Gerrald: a GERD.

[00:23:55] Chelsey Donn: lifetime musical theater.

[00:24:00] Trey Gerrald: Never again.

[00:24:03] Chelsey Donn: Well, I'll try. That was really good. We were both on it. I was on it with a flips. You were on it with the changes. Let's see what you did. I really think that that's a show first. Oh my God. Wow. I think we've burned the winner and I'm the co and I'm the competition. So that's saying something.

[00:24:30] Trey Gerrald: I really, yeah, I think That probably is a show. First

[00:24:32] Chelsey Donn: is a show. First try

[00:24:34] Trey Gerrald: Cool. All right.

[00:24:35] Chelsey Donn: killer.

[00:24:36] Trey Gerrald: Let's make it really a show first and you're going to beat me. All right, Chelsea, what is

[00:24:40] Chelsey Donn: I got a long one, I think. All right. So my one star review is for a cloth three usable diaper. Yikes. Okay. It is from honest company.

[00:24:52] Trey Gerrald: Uh, Jessica Alba.

[00:24:53] Chelsey Donn: Hi, it is a one-star view. It does. It's just by verified purchaser, which I know is not as fun. The subject is no thank you.

[00:25:02] Chelsey Donn: And the Review! is low quality, constantly leaking stiff, irritated skin overpriced.

[00:25:10] Trey Gerrald: oh, that's not good.

[00:25:12] Trey Gerrald: That is not

[00:25:13] Chelsey Donn: it's not good though. That's a bad reusable. Yikes. All right, here we go.

[00:25:18] Trey Gerrald: Are you ready to crown?

[00:25:20] Chelsey Donn: I'm crowning. Let's do it.

[00:25:24] Trey Gerrald: GO!.

[00:25:26] VOICEOVER: Two,.

[00:25:27] Trey Gerrald: Sports announcer

[00:25:29] Chelsey Donn: Low quality,

[00:25:33] Trey Gerrald: Yankee

[00:25:34] Chelsey Donn: quality, constantly irritated skin, all the price.

[00:25:39] Trey Gerrald: adult film,

[00:25:49] Chelsey Donn: Oh, probably constantly leaking stiff, irritated skin overpriced it's okay. I did

[00:25:59] Trey Gerrald: Five. That was

[00:26:01] Chelsey Donn: I'm proud of that. But tray with nine queen, you are the big winner. It's like your birth twins. You did

[00:26:10] Trey Gerrald: God. I, I beat Okta mom.

[00:26:12] Chelsey Donn: Ah, you did nine G is low. We is

[00:26:17] Trey Gerrald: Where's my TLC reality show. Give it to me.

[00:26:23] 1 Star Review

[00:26:23] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:26:27] Chelsey Donn: All right. We are back from that record breaking game break. When it go, try still, can't get over that. When you have the one-star, let's hear the opposite side of this.

[00:26:39] Trey Gerrald: All right. So this is an interesting circumstance I do want to, before I begin, I want to share that this Review! was written three years ago, but they have updated the Review! two years ago. And for the sake of brevity, I'm not going to get into it, but the update is written by, they use the word part. Who has condensed the experience and just tells their point of view again, why it's a one-star

[00:27:05] Chelsey Donn: So we're going to hear the.

[00:27:07] Trey Gerrald: original.

[00:27:08] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. So this is, um, under the account named Keegan. See it.

[00:27:14] Trey Gerrald: as a one-star review for UCLA health birthplace Westwood.

[00:27:20] Chelsey Donn: I mean,

[00:27:21] Trey Gerrald: Here we go. It cannot be understated. How nightmarish my experience giving birth here was I came in to be induced after specifically asking my OB to schedule me on a day when they were least busy.

[00:27:38] Trey Gerrald: She clearly didn't bother doing that since the day I came in, they were over capacity. The doctor came in and asked me if I wanted to come back at different. I said my OB had scheduled me for 12, 12 and asked if they were quote too busy right now to do my induction. She assured me that no, at quote, how busy we are, won't affect the care you receive and quote, this turned out to be complete BS.

[00:28:06] Trey Gerrald: So they put me in a dingy little waiting room. This place advertises itself as having beautiful birthing rooms with soft lighting tubs. I never saw a room like that in my entire time here, I ended up being shunted from dingy waiting room to dingy waiting room for the entire time I was there. I almost gave birth in a dirty little waiting room.

[00:28:34] Trey Gerrald: See my story.

[00:28:36] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:28:37] Trey Gerrald: After arriving for my scheduled induction at noon on 1212, I was finally given my misoprostol pill vaginally at 3:30 PM. I was dilated to two centimeters already beforehand and 60% of faced five hours later. I was three centimeters and 80% of faced. So I had responded to the pill quite well.

[00:29:00] Trey Gerrald: They inserted a second. My around 8:00 PM. By 11:00 PM. I was having quite painful contractions and asked about my epidural. They assured me I would be able to get one. One of the nurses suggested to the other, that I should be moved to the actual labor and delivery area, parentheses and out of the overflow waiting area.

[00:29:23] Trey Gerrald: The other nurse Caroline said they were quote Two,. So they left me there for another hour while I had painful contractions. They could not give me an epidural until I was actually moved to labor and delivery. Finally around midnight, they came back and moved me to another waiting room. But at least this time, this one was in the labor and delivery area.

[00:29:47] Trey Gerrald: So they would at least be able to start the epidural. By this point, my contractions were already two to three minutes apart and lasting for 60 seconds. They had not checked my cervix at all since they gave me that second misoprostol at 8:00 PM. So they had no idea how I was progressing and just guessed that it would still be awhile before I actually gave birth how wrong they were.

[00:30:13] Trey Gerrald: I sat through contractions every two minutes while they threaded the catheter for the epidural warned that I could not move at all. This was excruciating by this time it was one. The walking epidural, I received simply did nothing. Meanwhile, my contractions were getting stronger and stronger. I was feeling pressure.

[00:30:33] Trey Gerrald: And my rectum, I had the distinct feeling. The baby was coming. They had me hooked up to the T O C O contraction monitor. And even though I was yelling out loudly and pain every two minutes, because the machine was not picking up the contractions, they assumed I wasn't having. This is the truly unforgivable part.

[00:30:53] Trey Gerrald: I told them the baby was coming. And so did my birth partner, parentheses my stepmother, a N I C U nurse. My step-mom went out and told them, Hey, her contractions are less than one minute apart and lasting one minute. I think the baby is coming and. The nurses at the nursing station, parentheses who had still not bothered to actually check my cervix, told her quote, we're not picking it up on the machine and quote, they essentially didn't believe I was having contractions.

[00:31:24] Trey Gerrald: I was screaming in pain for exactly a minute, every other minute, parentheses like, Yeah.

[00:31:30] Trey Gerrald: A'. holes. I'm faking it through a question marks and the waiting room with my step-mom without nurses bothering to check me for the last two hours. Finally my water broke. I thought I'd pissed myself. So I said, quote, I pissed myself.

[00:31:46] Trey Gerrald: Finally, the nurse came in to change the pad underneath me. She lifted my gown and was like, Oh,

[00:31:52] Trey Gerrald: that's the baby's head. It's like, yeah, bitch, I've been giving birth in here alone this whole time and you a-holes just didn't effing. Believe me at that point, they finally moved me to what seem like basically an operating room while the head was emerging and the baby was born seven minutes later at 2:27 PM.

[00:32:14] Trey Gerrald: On 1213. I get that my labor was unusually fast, but these horrible nurses just didn't believe. That I was having contractions and worst still didn't bother to check. I was still never checked between the time I'd been three centimeters. And when I actually gave birth, I've moved all my care to a different hospital.

[00:32:40] Trey Gerrald: Stay away from this place. It treats patients as cash cows and the nurses couldn't give a F K less about you. I will not be delivering my future babies. This place is a factory of nightmares.

[00:32:58] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Keegan.

[00:33:02] Trey Gerrald: it's a lengthy review, but I felt like it's very worth it because it's incredibly detailed. And how excruciating this experience was for Keegan.

[00:33:10] Chelsey Donn: I mean, listen, I sometimes feel a certain kind of way about a Review! that has a pro-life. Which this clearly did,

[00:33:17] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:33:18] Chelsey Donn: but it really set the tone for what we were about to receive, because I had written down the word nightmarish because I just, even though I felt bad, I'm like, I love that as an adjective. And then as we were going through the experience, I was like, this is a nightmare.

[00:33:34] Chelsey Donn: That is a nightmare. Like this entire experience. It was a nightmare. Wow. I just want to make sure that I'm understanding this correctly. We know that we have to be induced. So we make this appointment. We specifically request like a queen that were there during a time where it's less busy. We get there and it is busy, but we're kind of told it's, it's going to be fine.

[00:33:58] Chelsey Donn: You're going to receive the same level of care. And then we start getting treatment in the waiting room.

[00:34:04] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I understand that there's variables here because it is sort of like, you can't know who is going to go into labor, but this is a scheduled induction and you recognize as Keegan that it's busy. And so you have the wherewithal to say, is it a little too busy because it was scheduled. So if it's overwhelming, let's pick another time and you're confirmed.

[00:34:30] Trey Gerrald: That you will not be impacted by the level of mania going on. You can't say like, oh, you might have a better experience if you come back. later. But it's also like, this is literally life and death. So don't give me a nicety, be honest, like

[00:34:44] Chelsey Donn: right. I mean, yeah. I mean, that is something that I want, like, why is the OB not on the phone? Maybe the OB is like delivering another baby or something. This is the point where I feel like the OB needs to be intervening, where I feel like Dr. Aparna really seemed like she was a huge part of this process.

[00:35:02] Chelsey Donn: Where is this OB? This sort of reminds me of my own birth story in a way, which I'll tell on Patrion. I mean, of me being born, but okay. We're, we're being medicated in the waiting. That just seems dangerous.

[00:35:18] Trey Gerrald: correct.

[00:35:19] Chelsey Donn: like doing a campfire outside and being like, you know what? This is going to start the fire inside.

[00:35:23] Chelsey Donn: Why not? I'll get the

[00:35:24] Trey Gerrald: carry the fire out,

[00:35:26] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I'll carry the fire out to the, to the flame with me. Like that is crazy,

[00:35:31] Trey Gerrald: well, I do think that part of it is like bodies react differently. So they I'm imagining that we're like this could take three hours.

[00:35:39] Chelsey Donn: even so does not feel like playing with.

[00:35:41] Trey Gerrald: Yes.

[00:35:42] Chelsey Donn: Also she's there with a NICU nurse. How did he

[00:35:45] Trey Gerrald: does that mean,

[00:35:46] Chelsey Donn: neonatal intensive care unit? That's for my, I only know this because like one of my best friends, staff is a neonatologist, which is a head bitch in charge for the NICU. But anyway, so this person is around difficult and time sensitive birds all the time.

[00:36:07] Chelsey Donn: So I I'm like wondering how we even got to this point.

[00:36:11] Trey Gerrald: I think that's a really great point.

[00:36:12] Trey Gerrald: because I didn't know what an ICU stood for. I think that you just literally ended this whole episode for me because it's obviously such a horrible experience. And I think it's incredibly trustworthy. I believe it, but I think the fact that like your, with your step-mom, who is the HBI, see,

[00:36:30] Chelsey Donn: Right. She's not the HPAC, she's a nurse, but still like you're with someone that has.

[00:36:34] Trey Gerrald: is high stress birthing

[00:36:36] Chelsey Donn: Yes. And the nurses in these environments are like very critical. Like, yeah. Sometimes there's only one neonatologist on staff, so we really need all NICU nurses on board.

[00:36:46] Trey Gerrald: Well, but that's my point is like so much in life. It's about who, you know, so you bring this person with you instead of your life partner. So you would anticipate that that would be communicated and you would most likely get better care because these other people at this facility are going to be aware that this person has the knowledge.

[00:37:04] Trey Gerrald: So they know when you're coming. You know? So like the fact that this experience occurred and you were accompanied by a nickname. As I say that, right.

[00:37:13] Chelsey Donn: NICU,

[00:37:14] Trey Gerrald: like outrageous, horrifying. The fact that the head was crowning.

[00:37:21] Chelsey Donn: God.

[00:37:22] Trey Gerrald: Also, I think it's a complete deal breaker for me. The fact that they never checked.

[00:37:28] Trey Gerrald: Are you out of your fucking mind? Like you could not only kill the baby. You could kill the mother, like argue out and I recognize maybe they're over capacity. They're under, it's like too many plates

[00:37:40] Chelsey Donn: too bad.

[00:37:41] Trey Gerrald: Right.

[00:37:42] Trey Gerrald: too bad. That's the job. This must happen all the time. Like, I don't think this is a F I don't think this is going to be fluke.

[00:37:48] Trey Gerrald: You can't predict when a baby is going to decide to go into labor. If it is scheduled and you can't accommodate it, there has to be a contingency plan. It is completely unacceptable.

[00:37:59] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yes, because if I read this Review!, this would be very near a deal-breaker for me, if not a hundred percent.

[00:38:06] Trey Gerrald: I'm wondering if Keegan got inseminated on Valentine's day and then nine months later, it's the busiest time and they're all there. And maybe Alexander, oh, God inseminated. Not on a sexy holiday. You know, there are seasons.

[00:38:21] Chelsey Donn: couldn't do the math in my head, but I was like,

[00:38:23] Trey Gerrald: know what that is,

[00:38:24] Chelsey Donn: is is December 10th, 11th, whatever. This was a

[00:38:28] Trey Gerrald: But I just also, conversely, want to say here, like as much as possibly Alexander. Oh, got lucky. I'm wondering if also Keegan got unlucky.

[00:38:40] Trey Gerrald: because it is sort of. I don't think that this is necessarily a fluke. I think it is a variable you're going to be dealing with constantly, but like, is that enough to deal break for me?

[00:38:50] Trey Gerrald: I'm think I'm, at the, let's go through the points. Spelling and grammar is pretty great. It did say Shunti. I was shunted around. I don't know what that means.

[00:38:58] Chelsey Donn: That's a word shunt. It is like, I think it's like ignored.

[00:39:03] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So then, okay, so then vocabulary words for me. I believe them. I don't think they're being shady, no humor, but I was thoroughly entertained and the most traumatizing horror experience

[00:39:14] Chelsey Donn: Yes. I was completely swayed by this review in all the ways outside.

[00:39:19] Trey Gerrald: before we crown, I want to say like I do wish that they had mentioned to the OB was by

[00:39:25] Chelsey Donn: I do tail.

[00:39:26] Trey Gerrald: I also would love to know the nurses names.

[00:39:29] Chelsey Donn: There is blame to be placed,

[00:39:32] Trey Gerrald: I bet they chose not to mention that. So, you know, maybe that was a conscious choice because of their morals and ethics. So I don't know how we'll see how that plays into the crowding, but I think I can do it.

[00:39:42] Trey Gerrald: You.

[00:39:43] Chelsey Donn: I can do it. Let's do it.

[00:39:46] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:39:53] Chelsey Donn: Oh, wow. Interesting. Wow. Okay. So I'm holding a four and a half crowns again, trays holding up five crowns. So I did it four and a half crowns, cause I thought I was equally swayed by both of these reviews. And then if I was going to give Alexandra oh four and a half, I had to do the same for Keegan because as much as I felt comforted.

[00:40:11] Chelsey Donn: Bye. Alexandra's Review! I felt horrified by Keegan's Review! and I will say the thing that I'm giving Keegan the most credit for that, like keeps sort of echoing in my mind as a Review Queen is they tried to preempt this experience when they spoke with the OB GYN. They said, I don't want to be there at a time when it's crowded.

[00:40:33] Chelsey Donn: When they got there, they said, I will come back another time to be induced. If it's crowded, they really like saw the writing on the wall before they even went down this road. Maybe they, you know, read the Alexandra owes and we're like, all right, I just need to make sure this variable is taken care of.

[00:40:48] Chelsey Donn: And even with all that due diligence, it still was a complete and utter nightmare. I didn't give the five because I was scared. I was not laughing at all. It was not a humorous and. I dunno, that's why I didn't go for the full five, but you went for a Review Queen for Keegan. So let us know why you thought that Keegan was a review queen.

[00:41:07] Trey Gerrald: I gave Keegan a Review Queen because I think the impact here, the, the image of crowning and the labor and delivery secondary waiting room, it doesn't matter. Like that's insane. And the fact that the. Birthing partner who happened to be An,

[00:41:23] Trey Gerrald: expert in the field, had to run and chase people down and say like the baby's crowning and they're ignoring you.

[00:41:29] Trey Gerrald: And like, instead of looking at the mind, it's just too much. And I appreciate the length. I hate long reviews. I think it's incredibly worth it for this experience. The preface. I agree. Maybe it could have been a paragraph shorter, but it drew me in. And then also that a year later, The partner that, who we know.

[00:41:47] Trey Gerrald: now as a NICU nurse wrote a summary, they're really trying to protect women, which I think is so Review!

[00:41:55] Trey Gerrald: Queenie that like I gave Keegan the five crowns because I just think it's a horrible experience. I believe them. This is just horrible.

[00:42:03] Chelsey Donn: I Google what a nightmare nightmarish

[00:42:06] Trey Gerrald: It's it's so odd to give someone a Review Queen status and feel so upset. You know, it's usually a very funny light, but I think the impact here is so strong.

[00:42:18] Chelsey Donn: I'm extremely upset about this experience for Keegan.

[00:42:22] Trey Gerrald: So there we

[00:42:23] Trey Gerrald: are.

[00:42:23] Chelsey Donn: Thank you for sharing. Thank you both for sharing, you know, as per usual, with these one in five star reviews, I am thoroughly confused. I don't know. All I can say is that people have different experiences and 3.5 feels like an adequate overall score for UCLA based on these two extreme.

[00:42:42] Chelsey Donn: Reviews that are as equally good as nightmarish.

[00:42:45] Trey Gerrald: I know. All right. Well,

[00:42:48] Chelsey Donn: just decided to call

[00:42:50] Trey Gerrald: was that literally her

[00:42:51] Chelsey Donn: That was literally my mother. So there you go. Happy mother's day.

[00:42:55] My Royal Highness

[00:42:55] Trey Gerrald: All right. queen, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show. Chelsey, who are you and ducting today for?

[00:43:05] Chelsey Donn: So I don't think it's going to take a rocket scientist to figure out who I'm inducting today. It is mother's day. So let's go ahead and just do it. I'm going to induct all the moms, all the mothers, and I'm going to include myself in that because I'm a dog mom. If you're a dog, mom, you get included today.

[00:43:19] Chelsey Donn: So. Thank you moms. Thank you, dog moms. I feel like, you know, listen, it's hard for me to be a dog mom. I can only imagine what it's like to be a real life mom and be responsible for, uh, child and keeping them alive and everything that comes with being a mother, which is a really thankless.

[00:43:37] Trey Gerrald: Totally.

[00:43:37] Chelsey Donn: I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank all the mothers out there.

[00:43:41] Chelsey Donn: Thank my mother. Who's called me twice during this recording. Trey, his mom for birding, such a beautiful baby boy, uh, Mandy for her beautiful children, my sister, and all of the other moms out there. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all that you contribute and all of the under valued contributions that you make.

[00:44:04] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. You are My Royal.

[00:44:09] Trey Gerrald: Absolutely so much of life unfolds when you become a mother about the things that your mother did, that you didn't ever catch or, um, have the opportunity to witness and experience and with the gratitude, which I just think is like a beautiful circular motion of life that we don't often think about the contributions until we're in them, in ourselves.

[00:44:30] Trey Gerrald: So,

[00:44:30] Chelsey Donn: That's true. We usually just think about all the ways that we've been.

[00:44:34] Trey Gerrald: right.

[00:44:35] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Exactly.

[00:44:37] Royal Review

[00:44:37] Trey Gerrald: All right, Chelsey, do we have time for a Royal Review! today?

[00:44:40] Chelsey Donn: Of course.

[00:44:47] Trey Gerrald: Uh, because the, any review for our show is a Royal Review!. But today we have one from raising hell you're on apple podcast. Raising Hellyer rights. FiveStars true. Review! perusal SIRS as one half of another review based podcast. I love hearing another duo that not only knows how to do it right, but who also do it totally different from.

[00:45:14] Trey Gerrald: Parentheses the humble boys of Review! running bits like San Tino's cherries really make you feel like you're a part of something. And they're supercalifragilistic term for Amazon's SEO. Hypercharged 50 word, product names is so smart. I wish I'd thought of it. Keep it up Queens. Ah, that's so nice.

[00:45:37] Chelsey Donn: hell you're. That means so much to me that you pick up on this anti you know of it all. N just knowing that somebody else's tickled Noven intended by the Sandino's cherries of it all is so sweet and kind and reassuring. And as I will say, fellow Review! Queens over

[00:45:56] Trey Gerrald: literally.

[00:45:57] Chelsey Donn: humbled, humbled by your praise of our show.

[00:46:02] Chelsey Donn: And so appreciate it.

[00:46:03] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:46:03] Chelsey Donn: Thank

[00:46:04] Trey Gerrald: And Review! has been in the game a lot longer than us. And so I really appreciate the fact that they have welcomed us and are so supportive and there might be. some things brewing in the future with Review! and the Review! Quintin spot. In the meantime,

[00:46:20] Chelsey Donn: Yes. As you guys know reviews, help new listeners find us. And so we are so appreciative. Anytime anyone who's listening to the show leaves us a review, especially a five-star Royal reveal. If you want a chance to be featured and have your review read on the show, you can make sure to rate and review us on apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[00:46:41] Trey Gerrald: That's right.

[00:46:43] Chelsey Donn: Thank you Queens. And thank you raising Hellyer. We appreciate that.

[00:46:47] Trey Gerrald: All right. We did it. Quain that.

[00:46:49] Trey Gerrald: is another round on the R U a R Q baby-making Ferris wheel.

[00:46:54] Chelsey Donn: Thank you for joining us today. It was like, I was going to say it was nine months, nine months worth of drama. Um, so thank you for joining us for that wild ride. If you like, what you heard, please tell us.

[00:47:09] Trey Gerrald: And if you didn't like what you heard the same applies, tell an enemy, you know, share it with someone you hate. Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com so that you can stay up to date with all of the goings on and The Queens.

[00:47:20] Chelsey Donn: hit up our voicemail box 1-850-REVIEW-0. You can also follow us on all the socials at @TheReviewQueens. I'm at @ChelseyBD.

[00:47:30] Trey Gerrald: And I am at @TreyGerrald!

[00:47:32] On Today's After Show Pod

[00:47:32] Trey Gerrald: Now on today's after show pod, we are rating and reviewing a one-star review from Zoc doc for an OB GYN.

[00:47:42] Chelsey Donn: uh, oh,

[00:47:43] Trey Gerrald: So to find out what made Chelsey say.

[00:47:46] Chelsey Donn: I think that that's totally out of control, wrong period, the end and find out what made Trey say.

[00:47:53] Trey Gerrald: What are fibroids,

[00:47:54] Chelsey Donn: Then join our slash Review That Review to hear our special members only after show podcast. And remember, ignore the haters. You're clean,

[00:48:09] Trey Gerrald: gender non-specific baby Queens.

[00:48:12] Chelsey Donn: of course, bye.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[00:48:34] Chelsey Donn: feel like I needed an epidural after that episode because my hormones are all over the place.

[00:48:39] Trey Gerrald: Where's my.

[00:48:42] Chelsey Donn: Oblong, Ghada, no doula.

[00:48:45] Trey Gerrald: Doula. What's an ADU UB doula.

[00:48:48] Trey Gerrald: OBGYN gala. What is that?

[00:48:50] Trey Gerrald: Why do I know. What is,

[00:48:51] Chelsey Donn: it in water. Boy, I think medulla, oblongata. I think it's a

[00:48:55] Trey Gerrald: Is that a lyric?

[00:48:56] Chelsey Donn: think it's the part of your brain.

[00:48:57] Trey Gerrald: the Macarena

[00:48:59] Chelsey Donn: It's the lowest part of the brain and the lowest portion of the brain stem.

[00:49:04] Trey Gerrald: Marema abogada what is that? don't get on it jumbo or it got to a Mr. Robot.

[00:49:11] Chelsey Donn: Oh, that's another song. I don't know. Hey.


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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review" Transcription *Please pardon any and all spelling errors! [00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Goldie? Goldie! No barking, quiet, or y


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