TRANSCRIPT of Episode 50: "Plant-Based Restaurant"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 50: "Plant-Based Restaurant"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi,

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: hello Chelsey. Hello listeners. Welcome to Review That. Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:38] Chelsey Donn: Review!, we're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scaping and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:50] Trey Gerrald: that's Chelsey, Donn,

[00:00:52] Chelsey Donn: that's TreyGerrald.

[00:00:54] Trey Gerrald: and together we are. And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including our members only after show podcast, visit our Patreon at slash Review That Review

[00:01:12] Lodge A Complaint

[00:01:12] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey girl, how's that week going?

[00:01:14] Chelsey Donn: The week is going well, I went to a friend's house that had cats yesterday, and I have like a delayed reaction, like people that have cats don't believe that I'm allergic Cause I don't always have a reaction in the moment, but like, by the time I get home that evening, I'm like a mess I'm over-served tacking just to try to get back to baseline.

[00:01:37] Chelsey Donn: So that's where I'm at.

[00:01:39] Trey Gerrald: what does it show up as like stuffy nose? Or do you have like hives and

[00:01:43] Chelsey Donn: Stuffy nose, itchy eyes like throat kind of like scratchy. Flemmi just not like Adam lactic, God forbid, like can't breathe, but like, just like I'm uncomfortable, you know, like the Orfices from which I breve are like, we're annoyed with you, you know?

[00:02:03] Trey Gerrald: I think it is like, actually it's the dander that humans are allergic to, because I think I have that thing with cats too, because my sister has cats. I always get like little like red hives. Like it's always right here on my hands and I have to like overload on allergy medicine

[00:02:20] Chelsey Donn: Even when you like, don't touch them, you still get the I'm like so cautious. Like I don't sit on fabric chair. If I'm sitting on a chair, it's a wood chair. Like I'm very methodical about it, but even just whatever is in the air, it gets, I

[00:02:36] Trey Gerrald: Right. Do the cats like come to you because you're so uninterested.

[00:02:40] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. the cats are a big fan of mine.

[00:02:42] Chelsey Donn: I, yeah, I get them all the time. And the thing is I love animals. That's what sucks. Like I found out that I was allergic to cats because I was staying at a friend's house that had a cat and I was like, I want to play with your cat. And then, then I almost died. Cause I was like really in the cat space. So it sucks like cats, like one to come to me.

[00:03:00] Chelsey Donn: Cause they think I'm playing hard to get. And I'm like, this isn't a game. This is like, Anyway,

[00:03:08] Trey Gerrald: So is that your complaint

[00:03:09] Chelsey Donn: don't know. I was going to say, I guess that could be my complaint.

[00:03:12] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:03:14] Chelsey Donn: I'll let you talk about your week.

[00:03:17] Trey Gerrald: Well, I w I wasn't even going to mention this cause I was like, should this be a complaint? And then I was like, I dunno, it's too. So I was editing an episode. I'll go ahead and say that it's episode 48. I had gotten all the way.

[00:03:31] Chelsey Donn: Oh no.

[00:03:31] Trey Gerrald: So the very end we had just concluded the Royal Highness and my laptop. I keep it plugged in all the time.

[00:03:39] Trey Gerrald: Cause I work at an actual desk. So the minute it's unplugged, there's like a 12 minute shelf life before the battery just dies. Cause I've destroyed it. Well, it fell out and I was like, I don't I'm too lazy. Like I just want to hurry. You know, I was like, I bet I had forgotten. We had a Royal Review That episode.

[00:03:56] Trey Gerrald: So I was like, I'm nearly done. Pounds through this. It'll be great. And then of course I forgot and my computer literally died and I was like, Oh Oh, no,

[00:04:07] Trey Gerrald: I was like, don't forget. It's it's going to be like it, like auto saves. It's going to be okay. So then I plugged my computer back end and it was like the dead kind, where it was like a black screen.

[00:04:16] Trey Gerrald: And then there was like dash dash, dash, dash, dash dash uploading. And it fully uploaded. I tried to open it and it was like this closed without being saved. Would you like to open from a snapshot? And I was like, yes. And then it was like error opening 4 0 4, negative six. And I was

[00:04:33] Chelsey Donn: Oh no,

[00:04:35] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:04:36] Trey Gerrald: Let me look at my time machine. So I haven't backed up my computer since January, that wasn't going to help me. And then I was like, oh, okay. So cutting to the chase. I literally lost the entire episode and I had to start completely from scratch, which was fine. I love, I love spending that much time with our voices.

[00:04:56] Chelsey Donn: I'm sure you do dry.

[00:04:58] Trey Gerrald: Uh, know what lesson learned? The minute that, um, cord falls out, I can't be lazy cause I'm going to pay for it in the end, which usually how procrastination works anyway. So

[00:05:09] Chelsey Donn: God. I am so sorry.

[00:05:10] Trey Gerrald: that was the high highlight of the pain of my week, which will also be my lodging of a complaint. Oh, guys just take the time, press save.

[00:05:20] Chelsey Donn: Also like do your time, like my time machine, I think is on automatic. I hope it is.

[00:05:25] Trey Gerrald: Oh, my gosh. Oh,

[00:05:27] Chelsey Donn: I'm so sorry. Well, God bless you. Try it. I don't know. We would not have a show without you because Trey is so meticulous about editing every single episode. So thanks for doing it twice.

[00:05:37] Trey Gerrald: well, everyone who loved our mothers to episode, just, just think back I had to go through that twice.

[00:05:45] Trey Gerrald: It's a pleasure to be podcasting with you and for you listeners. Chelsey and that energy, should we move into online reviews? Do you think you're ready?

[00:05:55] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.

[00:05:55] Chelsey Donn: So ready. Let's let's do it. As you know, we are your trustee Review! Queens. We each bring in our view from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:06:07] Trey Gerrald: when you read you the Review!, we break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. This is a very Regal process that we call.

[00:06:16] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch

[00:06:18] Trey Gerrald: And Chelsey girl, the floor is all yours.

[00:06:21] Chelsey Donn: ready to bend and snap. Here we go.

[00:06:27] De Buena Planta 1 Star Review

[00:06:27] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:06:31] Trey Gerrald: Oh, I just wrote, I wrote it, the scrubs Chelsey to say, get ready for my Bendon snap, but I didn't know that you would actually say.

[00:06:41] Chelsey Donn: I, it was in the scrapped. Okay. All right. So you know how much I love Yelp? So I was, let's just say doing some perusing and they came across this review by James. Cause you know, we love the name James, on this podcast. Yes. James P as in Paul, This is James one-star review of a restaurant here in LA in Venice, actually on Abbot Kinney called

[00:07:10] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:07:11] Chelsey Donn: Planta, which I think means like the good plant would be my guess for my four years of Spanish.

[00:07:18] Chelsey Donn: This is a one-star review of Dwayne Atlanta.

[00:07:24] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:07:26] Chelsey Donn: I wanted to love the hell out of this plant based eatery. I was absolutely misled by their plant based claims. Plant based eateries are popping up all over, and this place is masquerading as one while really being vegetarian. Call what it is, plant forward, eggs and lactose in the back.

[00:07:53] Chelsey Donn: We arrived and were very excited. The place was beautiful. The staff seemed friendly. The drinks were great. The menu looks so great. Super excited for a new plant-based restaurant. We ordered so excited. It was our first date night and months after accidentally overhearing a server mentioned to a nearby table that they were a vegetarian restaurant.

[00:08:21] Chelsey Donn: I panic.

[00:08:22] Trey Gerrald: yeah.

[00:08:24] Chelsey Donn: why didn't anyone tell us that? Was he wrong? It's vegan, right? I mean, they are plant based after all we had just ordered and I was already eating the guacamole. I was dying inside O M G. The guacamole is in vegan. With cohesive cheese and not the vegan spoof kind. You might find at actual vegan plant-based restaurants, real cheese in all my years.

[00:08:59] Chelsey Donn: I've never hoped there would be cheese or any sort on my guac. Am I alone here? Every plant-based restaurant in LA crossroads, gracias Madre, veggie grill, plant power, and little pine to name. A few has started calling things. What they are better known as in their normal. chicken. Isn't chicken, beef isn't beef.

[00:09:29] Chelsey Donn: And she is isn't really cheese. Well, I, this self-proclaimed plant-based eatery. There is not only cheese in many dishes. There is also egg being used flagrant. Then try to make so many efforts to be plant-based expensive. P can chorizo the vegan. Fundido impossible, vegan nachos, et cetera, but they are really just hijacking the word.

[00:10:03] Chelsey Donn: This is a gluten-free vegetarian restaurant. It is not plant-based and cow POS are not plant. I know they could edit the menu and be 100% vegan and claim steak among Les best restaurants, but this bait and switch isn't okay. We immediately modified our order with our server after realizing the vegetarian restaurant we were in.

[00:10:36] Chelsey Donn: And then the Caesar salad was served to us with cheese, not okay. They took that off our seat only to then charge us the same price for the one without cheese. We had a lengthy convo with the server about the restaurant being misleading to which we were told that there was an inner dialogue in the management as to what to call the restaurant for them to then serve us a salad w