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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 55: "Eleven Madison Park"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 55: "Eleven Madison Park"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi,

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Hello, and welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:39] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:52] Trey Gerrald: That is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:55] Chelsey Donn: And that is Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: And together we are

[00:01:01] VOICEOVER: The

[00:01:01] VOICEOVER: Review Queens!

[00:01:05] Trey Gerrald: For access to additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly members only after show companion podcast, plus videos, merch discounts, and much, much more visit our Patreon. Much more.

[00:01:22] Trey Gerrald: the Fantasticks anyone, then go ahead and visit our Patreon at slash Review That Review.

[00:01:31] Birthday Bitch!

[00:01:31] Trey Gerrald: Oh, Chelsey,

[00:01:32] Trey Gerrald: how

[00:01:32] Trey Gerrald: are w----.

[00:01:33] Chelsey Donn: How, what where?

[00:01:35] VOICEOVER: It's time to get Birthday drunk!

[00:01:47] VOICEOVER: Birthday,

[00:01:47] Trey Gerrald: It's Chelsey's birthday!!!!

[00:01:52] VOICEOVER: birthday.

[00:01:52] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, love my birthday song.

[00:01:55] Trey Gerrald: Today's June 22nd, everyone. And it's Chelsey's 19th birthday.

[00:02:02] Chelsey Donn: oh, my goodness

[00:02:04] Trey Gerrald: birthday.

[00:02:06] Chelsey Donn: thank you. Happy birthday, Meryl Streep as well.

[00:02:10] Trey Gerrald: Ah, look at that. It is just a celebrat Tori de Chelsey. was your birthday going? Thank you for spending it

[00:02:16] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my goodness. I would spend it with no one else. My birthday is great. Thanks for asking. I mean, just grateful to have another year round the sun, traveling through time and space with you. Try.

[00:02:30] Trey Gerrald: What are your favorite things about birthday celebrations? Do you have any favorite things or disfavored things?

[00:02:36] Chelsey Donn: Oh, you know, it's so hard for me because I was such a big birthday person for such a long time in that I always would do an event for years, years, we would go to a Dodgers game every year. For years, I did the Hollywood bowl every year with a big group. And it's just so sad to say, but like, you know, COVID sort of canceled those big, huge moments where we can all be together in a public space and feel comfortable.

[00:03:05] Chelsey Donn: I've been a little bit more low key this year. I got to say, but I think it's, you know, I think it's good. I'm just happy. As long as I'm celebrating with someone, I don't, I don't like to do the big birthday dinners. Stress me out. That's why I'm like more of an events girl. I'm like buy a ticket to the game.

[00:03:21] Chelsey Donn: We'll go. You want to buy yourself a hot dog? Go ahead. I get stressed out with the traditional birthday dinner, you know, like who's going to pay the check. Ugh. God, I can't.

[00:03:31] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, for sure.

[00:03:32] Chelsey Donn: Do you have a special way that you like to celebrate your birthday?

[00:03:36] Trey Gerrald: I think the older I've gotten the less, I want to like even do anything like separate of birthday. For many years there, this is a weird tale that I could expound on in the after-show perhaps. for my 26th birthday, I went to a pottery painting place and invited a bunch of people to come and join. And while I was painting a coffee mug, I booked my first television series.

[00:04:04] Trey Gerrald: got a phone call saying I was

[00:04:06] Chelsey Donn: God. That's so cool.

[00:04:07] Trey Gerrald: And so then it became like, well, I got to do those every year because good things happen I'm doing this on my birthday.

[00:04:13] Chelsey Donn: my God. Now you're making me feel like I got to go to a pottery place stat.

[00:04:16] Trey Gerrald: Well, it never repeated itself. And so then I was like, okay, I'm gonna not do this anymore. And then now I don't know. I'm just sort of like, man, I'd rather just like sit around and not do anything, but my husband is the complete other side of the scale. He loves to have huge superstar. No, he loves to have huge ginormous parties.

[00:04:35] Trey Gerrald: He wants, rented out a bar and did a nineties themed birthday party where everyone came, dressed up in nineties outfits.

[00:04:42] Chelsey Donn: Oh, so fun. I love that.

[00:04:45] Trey Gerrald: One year he rented out a restaurant and we did animal nose party where everyone had to wear animals.

[00:04:51] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:04:52] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. So, um, Yeah.

[00:04:53] Trey Gerrald: so we experienced all of that on all sides, but though it is your birthday, Chelsey, am curious.

[00:04:59] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:04:59] Trey Gerrald: Is there anything that isn't making you happy? Is there anything that you want to

[00:05:03] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:05:05] Trey Gerrald: about today on your birthday?

[00:05:07] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, there is actually, so I, I love candles. If you're thinking about getting me a belated birthday gift, go ahead and send me a lovely candle that isn't synthetic and I'm going to be very happy about it. However, hate when I'm burning a candle, the wick is burned through, and there's still a ton of wax there that has not burned.

[00:05:32] Chelsey Donn: And like, what do I do? Am I supposed to throw away the candle? Am I supposed to like melt it and make a new candle? That feels like a lot of work? What would. It just feels like such a waste. There's all that delicious sleep scented wax. And I don't have any way to, to keep it burning. what am I supposed to do?

[00:05:53] Trey Gerrald: I know exactly what we're talking about. That's why I love those candles that have multiple wicks. Cause it makes me feel like I'm

[00:06:01] Chelsey Donn: Little, little more. Yeah. A little more secure about like the distribution.

[00:06:06] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever like played with a candle wax, like as it's burning and then like the next time you gotta look at it and it's like, you can't get to the WIC, so you have to like tilt it and like try to eliminate it and then like let some of the wax pour out. Have you ever experienced any of that?

[00:06:19] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I mean, I used to play with the wax a lot, cause I used to like that, you know, I like it between my fingers, you know, that brand experience

[00:06:30] Trey Gerrald: Oh, well, good

[00:06:31] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I didn't, I haven't really done that since I was a kid, but I've definitely had a situation where the wick kind of gets waxed over in a way, or like something happens to the WIC where it's like the wick is there buried WIC is there as well.

[00:06:47] Chelsey Donn: And it can't be lit and that's, that's probably even more frustrating. Maddening.

[00:06:52] Trey Gerrald: Do you remember that trend? Like maybe in the early two thousands of like pair friend paraffin,

[00:06:57] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:06:58] Trey Gerrald: would dip your hand in.

[00:06:59] Chelsey Donn: Or your feet. Oh, it felt so good. I love a good paraffin wax. Not going to lie. It's always the ad-on when you're getting a Manny petty, like, and you want to do the paraffin? Like, how do I say no? I mean, my feet and my hands are so dry and they make you feel so smooth.

[00:07:12] Trey Gerrald: Yes.

[00:07:13] Chelsey Donn: All right. Try since it is my birthday, I guess I will grant you one wish and allow you to Lodge A Complaint as well today.

[00:07:20] Chelsey Donn: So do you have a complaint that you want to Lodge? A,

[00:07:24] Trey Gerrald: All right. So today I actually have a serious complaint. So I was doing some research because been taking more financial control in my life. And I discovered that I had fraudulent activity on my MasterCard. This fraudulent activity dates back to may of 2021.

[00:07:45] Chelsey Donn: That's. Oh my goodness. That's right. You mentioned

[00:07:47] Trey Gerrald: Today is June 22nd, 2020. I have been being charged 29 90 $9 a month since may of 2021.

[00:07:56] Trey Gerrald: And I have no idea what it is.

[00:07:59] Chelsey Donn: Have you have you since calculated to see how much that is?

[00:08:05] Trey Gerrald: Oh no, I haven't added it up, but cause I'm too upset. But what I did do is I disputed all of the charges. One by one. You have to fill in this thing on.

[00:08:15] Chelsey Donn: Well, there's a time.

[00:08:16] Trey Gerrald: Yes. You have to, it's like transaction one and then you do the date, the name of the vendor and the cost. And so, and this has been going on, I mean, it's three pages of charges.

[00:08:28] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my God

[00:08:30] Trey Gerrald: And it was like due to the number of transactions, like a pop-up happened. It was you will be contacted by a representative in three to five business days. So it was like, Okay. great. like, I have to go to work.

[00:08:41] Chelsey Donn: this sounds like a representative conversation anyway. Truly.

[00:08:44] Trey Gerrald: Correct? Correct. So then today I was like, oh, I still haven't heard anything back from that.

[00:08:49] Trey Gerrald: So I called MasterCard and we looked through it and there were like, how many transactions did you select? And I was like, I don't know. It's like three pages. And they're like, you did not select two charges. And I was like, what? like, there's two charges. You didn't slack. So because of that, it was deemed not fraudulent.

[00:09:09] Chelsey Donn: so there, so you, so out of the, like three pages of, of things that you wrote down, you miss two somehow. And because you miss Two, from that vendor, none of them, that is the dumbest thing I've ever

[00:09:22] Trey Gerrald: Because it looks like a wreck. It's a recurring charge. And because I didn't tag two of them as fraudulent MasterCard said, oh, well, they're trying to pull a fast one. Cause they, they processed two charges, but they're wanting to charge these other 90. So now I'm in a holding pattern once again. And this is a

[00:09:40] Trey Gerrald: fraudulent charge at some company in England.

[00:09:43] Chelsey Donn: So this is still not resolved.

[00:09:45] Trey Gerrald: No.

[00:09:46] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.

[00:09:47] Trey Gerrald: But I had to, I did have to lock the car, the account and like cancel it. So I got the new card in the mail today. So when I was on the phone with the representative, I was like, why would I have locked my card and gotten a new, entirely different 16 digit number? I have to update all of my bills if I was like trying to pull a fast one.

[00:10:06] Trey Gerrald: And he was like, you know, I can like resubmit this with this two additional charges. I was like, Yeah, Thank you. So I'll keep everyone updated, but that's really my complaint. Don't take my identity,

[00:10:17] Chelsey Donn: How dare

[00:10:18] Trey Gerrald: if you're British. How dare you? How very dare.

[00:10:21] Trey Gerrald: you.

[00:10:21] Chelsey Donn: very dare.

[00:10:22] Trey Gerrald: I don't even want to live my life sometimes.

[00:10:24] Trey Gerrald: Why do you,

[00:10:25] Chelsey Donn: Especially from a queen. My goodness.

[00:10:28] Trey Gerrald: How dare let the meat cake,

[00:10:30] Chelsey Donn: let them eat cake

[00:10:32] Trey Gerrald: ate her birthday cake.

[00:10:33] Chelsey Donn: and give Trey has identity back.

[00:10:36] Trey Gerrald: But, you know, once I feel like, oftentimes my complaints lead back.

[00:10:39] Trey Gerrald: to things I am responsible for. I should have clocked this many months ago. One could even say a year ago. Uh, but, uh, anyway, I'm dealing with that. So my complaint is stealing identities. Don't do that.

[00:10:52] Chelsey Donn: Complaint heard complaint added to the ledger. Try. I'm sorry. so

[00:10:59] Trey Gerrald: I hope you're able to let your birthday candles.

[00:11:02] Chelsey Donn: I will, I will. Soldier on in your honor. Okay.

[00:11:05] Trey Gerrald: Thank you. All right. Well, should we jump into some online reviews for your book?

[00:11:10] Chelsey Donn: I think we sh I there's no other way. I'd rather celebrate my birthday than with a fine help and have online. Review!.

[00:11:19] REVIEW!

[00:11:19] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:11:24] Chelsey Donn: As you know, we are your trustee Review! Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:11:31] Trey Gerrald: We read you the Review! break it down and rate the impact of their review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that we call.

[00:11:40] VOICEOVER: Uh, says that given.

[00:11:42] Chelsey Donn: That's right. What do you have for us today? Try it.

[00:11:45] Trey Gerrald: All right. And honor of your birthday.

[00:11:47] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my goodness. Okay.

[00:11:49] Trey Gerrald: I have

[00:11:50] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:11:50] Trey Gerrald: a one star Yelp review.

[00:11:53] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:11:54] Trey Gerrald: For a restaurant because I know you love restaurant reviews.

[00:11:58] Chelsey Donn: I do.

[00:11:59] Trey Gerrald: So this is for a restaurant and Manhattan called 11 Madison Park.

[00:12:06] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:12:06] Trey Gerrald: This is written by a mall, S

[00:12:10] Chelsey Donn: How do you spell it?

[00:12:12] Trey Gerrald: a M a L

[00:12:13] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:12:15] Trey Gerrald: updated Review! serious. I am negating my previous glowing raves for this place solely on the pathetic way we were treated upon entering.

[00:12:28] Trey Gerrald: I have touted this place forever to everyone as one of the cream of the N Y crop. You not only lost my business and that of a major U S C E. But I will be sure to share this awful experience as much as the good ones, my friend and I love to dine well, and that's the only way we dine. We like to sit at the bar less stuff, but we drop some serious coin.

[00:13:03] Trey Gerrald: Here's the setup we walk in. Can I help you? Yes, we would like to have dinner at the bar and a couple bottles of wine. Well, the bar is full right now. No problem. We can wait, we will just grab a drink. We have a no standing room policy. So you can't, what do you mean? There are a lot of pubs in the area. If you would like, I could recommend a couple of places we stare at each other.

[00:13:30] Trey Gerrald: Like this troll is kidding. Half the people at the bar were standing. Question mark. Question mark. Question, mark. Question. We looked at him and said, no, thanks. We don't need a pub recommendation. Walked out whisked and a cab uptown to Maria, where we were treated like gold, amazing dinner, two bottles of a white burgundy parentheses at 300 a pop and not a word.

[00:14:03] Trey Gerrald: He could have offered to take a look at the bar and see if anyone was closing a tab question, mark, getting ready to leave question mark something, but a pub for question marks. Are you AF in kidding me three question marks. I know you guys don't need the business, but the person they turned away was a very frequent diner.

[00:14:29] Trey Gerrald: As I. Probably 25 to 30 visits a year between us as Julia. Robert said big mistake, five exclamation marks. We don't expect anything more than a proper courtesy, but the way he treated us, I will no longer stop in for my overpriced yet. Perfect. Weekly dot idiot. Ooh,

[00:15:04] Chelsey Donn: with the idiots.

[00:15:06] Trey Gerrald: I just have to tell you,

[00:15:07] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:15:08] Trey Gerrald: there is nary a capital letter and this entire not a single capitalization anywhere in this. Review! anywhere to be found.

[00:15:19] Chelsey Donn: But there is punctuation.

[00:15:21] Trey Gerrald: So many question marks. And a lot of ellipses, a lot of exclamation marks. Yeah.

[00:15:27] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my goodness. A mall. All right. There were a few times where I was confused as to whether or not a mall was speaking about themselves in the first person, or they were referring to the person that they were with, like in the section when they say. They pissed them off and also a CEO or something like that.

[00:15:46] Chelsey Donn: Are they the CEO? Are they saying like, they pissed me off and also my friend who is a CEO and then later they said something again.

[00:15:55] Trey Gerrald: The person they turned away. I was a very frequent

[00:15:57] Chelsey Donn: Was a very frequent diner. And then they said exactly. And then they said that they were a frequent diner. So it's like, are you speaking to the third person or are you saying that you're a frequent diner and your friend is a frequent diner and like together that are gonna, like, because they did say at one point, like the cumulative loss of both of these people was big.

[00:16:16] Chelsey Donn: They did like explicitly say that at one point. Right.

[00:16:20] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, so I did do a little research on them all as,

[00:16:23] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay.

[00:16:24] Trey Gerrald: and they are very rare.

[00:16:27] Chelsey Donn: They must be writes batch

[00:16:29] Trey Gerrald: Both and pers and, and the way they Review!. So they really do not like to use the caps lock and they frequently speak about how wealthy they and their clients. are. So I'm unsure exactly what it is that a mall does, a mall takes lots of fancy business people to Dinners or lunches and frequently communicates about dropping lots of money.

[00:16:56] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:16:57] Trey Gerrald: So I do think because there's, I think the grammar here, the punctuation is really bad. Uh, they don't use commas, which I think would help us indicate when they're speaking of themselves. And when they're speaking of a client yeah.

[00:17:09] Chelsey Donn: Oh, good point. Yeah. I mean, there was so much in here, you know, like $300 a pop, like, I don't need to know how much money spent. I'm really trying to separate my immediate gut reaction, which is just like, Ew gross. Why are you flaunting money? Like

[00:17:29] Chelsey Donn: this?

[00:17:30] VOICEOVER: It's.

[00:17:31] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, I don't think that the person should have responded in negatively and the way that, like the way that a mall is saying it, it does seem like there are like, maybe there's some pubs you can shy, like, you know, but I don't know if I can trust them or if they're the type of person that's just going to get annoyed with anyone.

[00:17:50] Chelsey Donn: Cause they seem like they're really above everybody else and they feel that way about themselves. And while. I feel on the one hand, be rich bitch. Yeah. Make your money like be a CEO. Like I'm supporting that. I don't, I don't think that you should live small, you know, if you've made something of your life and you want to experience life to the fullest, that's fine.

[00:18:12] Chelsey Donn: But there's something about this that just feels it's a turnoff.

[00:18:17] Trey Gerrald: It is interesting to me because it does seem that a mall is presenting a case that they, and I'm also gathering this from looking at other reviews, but they, they take people to dinner that are important. So what's interesting to me is why would you not have made a reservation,

[00:18:33] Chelsey Donn: because they explicitly said that they like to sit at the bar,

[00:18:37] Trey Gerrald: but would you do that like with a client? I mean, I guess I'm all done, so it doesn't matter if I

[00:18:43] Chelsey Donn: I guess a mall does. Or like in this case, was it a client? I mean, I was impressed by the two bottles of wine for two people. I was like, all right, we are committing to a bottle each at the beginning. God.

[00:18:54] Trey Gerrald: Well, it says two bottles of White burgundy, is that wine

[00:18:59] Chelsey Donn: burgundy wine

[00:19:00] Trey Gerrald: like red wines or a white wine,

[00:19:03] Chelsey Donn: I know that's how I thought white burgundy.

[00:19:05] Trey Gerrald: but you're right. I'm all does say my friend. They don't say client

[00:19:10] Chelsey Donn: Right? So like, I think maybe a mall and this friend like to

[00:19:15] Trey Gerrald: What do you think of the no standing rim?

[00:19:17] Chelsey Donn: I think it's weird. Okay. So white burgundy wines are referred to as white burgundies are Chardonnay base wines from France Eastern. Oh, burgundy. Oh God. Okay. I didn't even So it's like from burgundy, it's white it's Chardonnay.

[00:19:34] Chelsey Donn: That is from burgundy.

[00:19:35] Trey Gerrald: But that makes me think that they know what they're talking about. Like.

[00:19:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I don't know. You know, there is a certain caliber of people. I think this is an expensive place. If I'm thinking of the right place in my mind, like this is like a $4 sign kind of situation, this

[00:19:50] Trey Gerrald: it has a fancy swanky place. Yeah.

[00:19:53] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So just trying to put into my mind what can be gathered from this Review! if I am, this was, you said it was one, sorry.

[00:20:03] Chelsey Donn: One-Star-Zinger. So if I am looking up this restaurant, I'm deciding whether or not I want to go there. I look to the one stars right away. Cause I'm like, I don't want to see any red flags that I'm not comfortable with. If I read this Review! one, what am I gathering? And two, is it a deal breaker? I don't think it's a deal breaker for attending the restaurant.

[00:20:26] Trey Gerrald: It's just so interesting to me, because I think the conceit of this Review! is very specific. Like, I don't know it, I, I would imagine that if it is a fancy restaurant and they then like having a no standing room policy at the bar, probably like, okay, I mean, fancy restaurants have rules

[00:20:43] Chelsey Donn: When was this Review! written.

[00:20:45] Trey Gerrald: in 2013.

[00:20:47] Chelsey Donn: Okay, cool. Cool. Cool. For a second, when you said that I'm like, is this a COVID thing now?

[00:20:53] Trey Gerrald: But like, I mean, I get them all his point was like, why didn't they go and check?

[00:20:57] Chelsey Donn: they said people were standing.

[00:20:58] Trey Gerrald: Right. I don't know. Do we believe that? Do we think that's truthful or do we think

[00:21:03] Chelsey Donn: Did that shady

[00:21:04] Trey Gerrald: what's occurring to me? Is that a mall was offended by the pub comment,

[00:21:08] Chelsey Donn: for sure.

[00:21:10] Trey Gerrald: like a lower class phrase.

[00:21:12] Trey Gerrald: Like, I mean, I guess. Okay. Because it doesn't occur that.

[00:21:16] Chelsey Donn: It. I mean like, cause the implication there is like, we don't have standing room because like we don't like people loitering around, like we want people to have a like luxurious bar experience and then a pub is much more of an environment where like casual, there's potentially saw dust on the floor.

[00:21:35] Chelsey Donn: pack them in. It's just. Getting the alcohol and being loud and obnoxious or whatever. I dunno, like any kind of stereotypes that come along with it specifically to somebody that considers themselves so above it all. You know, even if, for me, it was like, oh, go to a pub or maybe you would be like, all right, cool.

[00:21:58] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, we should go to a pub. But for somebody like this, that is like, you want me to go to a lower class establishment? Excuse me? What are you saying? Like, uh, might not good enough for you? Is my money not good enough for you?

[00:22:14] Trey Gerrald: Well, it's interesting to me because I think choosing a Julia Roberts quote from the movie, pretty woman is like that someone who is low class, who is being paid to have a high class experience and it's being judged. And so they get be pretentious and say, you. Judge me by the cover of the book. like, I wouldn't choose that character to explain that I'm Heike.

[00:22:40] Trey Gerrald: I actually am high class and you've made a huge mistake because I dropped $300. You know what I mean? Like I would, I wouldn't

[00:22:46] Chelsey Donn: It's an interesting point.

[00:22:48] Trey Gerrald: yes.

[00:22:49] Chelsey Donn: point in the Zeit guys as an expression, like anybody in any situation is like, Oh, like you didn't invite me in like, oh, you'd like, you cut me off last. And the bakery line, big mistake, big, huge. I would've bought you out. Like, I don't know, like any, anything can be compared to that.

[00:23:05] Chelsey Donn: So it's sort of like a trite thing to say in the first place. Like, oh, your business is so unbelievable. It's really placing yourself at the center of a narrative that feels on point for him. All right. Like I think Amal is very much the center of a. And I think that the only thing that I can latch onto in terms of a takeaway that I'm happy to know is the standing room only thing like that does seem a little bit, or the no standing room mother is unusual.

[00:23:39] Chelsey Donn: So that's something that I would want to know like, oh, oh, good to know. Okay. So if we can't get a seat at the bar, then I should have a backup plan, you know? Cause there is no standing room. Like that's like. Good information. the unfortunate thing about this Review! is that it's so buried beneath just heavy piles, reeking of pretension.

[00:24:01] Chelsey Donn: And I'm starting to doubt whether or not anyone that was going to this restaurant would even get that point. I don't know.

[00:24:08] Trey Gerrald: So I just went to 11 Madison Park's website and they take reservations for the bar.

[00:24:15] Chelsey Donn: Oh, interesting.

[00:24:16] Trey Gerrald: 'cause my thought was while you were just saying. Is if there No. standing room, I wonder if they take reservations. So once again, here I am. I think the value here is that if you want to go here, you need to prepare ahead of time, which I don't think is bad.

[00:24:34] Trey Gerrald: I think lots of places are like that can't just expect to pop in. I also think the information within this Review! I don't know if it's common, is that. It seems to me that a mall was offended and then wanted to publicly punish the restaurant for deeming to disgrace a mall. So to me, it sort of all occurs a little bit like this is shady, like they're wanting retribution.

[00:25:04] Chelsey Donn: Correct. They're waving their money around in a way that feels very gross and like, oh, I can destroy you vibes. Like, because I'm so wealthy and you pissed off the wrong broad

[00:25:17] Trey Gerrald: It's also weird to end with. I will no longer stop in for my overpriced yet. Perfect. Weekly martini. Like it's weird to like stick it to them by telling them that their martini is a

[00:25:27] Chelsey Donn: But your stuff is great. Yeah, no, that's interesting too. Cause it's like, obviously once again, we have someone that is very emotional about this experience and likely because they really do like it a lot and there is pain there when you like someplace a lot and you've decided. You know, whether, because you know, you're too prideful or whatever it is that you will not return to that establishment.

[00:25:54] Chelsey Donn: I think there is a bit of sadness that comes with that. Like, oh, I'll never be able to experience that martini that I love or that food that I love ever again, because my pride is too delicate. Quite frankly,

[00:26:06] Trey Gerrald: And I think that is echoed and using ending with the phrase idiots. Um, all feels emotionally burned.

[00:26:14] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:26:15] Trey Gerrald: I guess. I just, I guess there's a class that I feel like I'm adding onto the story. I feel like multiple times a mall is mentioning status and class and wealth in a way that I feel like, I don't know.

[00:26:32] Trey Gerrald: Like, I think you could, if you were really like, you've made a mistake, I was a very loyal, frequent customer. I happy to attend and I don't know. I feel like there's a way to express how this was damaging to the restaurant because of my loyalty, without saying I dropped serious Klein.

[00:26:51] Chelsey Donn: Oh 100%. And I feel like that's something that we come across all the time, and that is the typical pitfall. Of the ones that are Review!, which is that if you go too far on the Karen side of things and you lean too much into your own entitlement, then you're really losing the effectiveness of the Review!.

[00:27:13] Chelsey Donn: Even if you have a point that is worthy of saying, it's why James longtime listener, who came onto the show and said that he learned these tips from us. When we read the review, it did seem truthful because. James peppered in. I love this place. I, I, the drinks are great. This is, you know, set enough things that you're like, okay, now I'm ready to listen to what was wrong.

[00:27:38] Chelsey Donn: Whereas if you just stay in that same bitter tone the entire time, even if it is coming out of that initial, emotional. Which I get, you know, like I haven't written a lot of reviews, but I've sat with my sister who loves to write reviews and, or used to love to write reviews and we've come up with some funds angers and it's fun.

[00:27:57] Chelsey Donn: But at the end of the day, in order to be effective, you can't just blow the steam off. Well, it off blow off the lid, blow the lid

[00:28:07] Trey Gerrald: I also just want to the last point here it?

[00:28:10] Trey Gerrald: blow the lid off. Blow

[00:28:12] Chelsey Donn: If all the little.

[00:28:15] Trey Gerrald: Like mall's ending statement as we don't expect anything more than a proper courtesy, but the way he treated us, I don't even think they were treated badly. I think they use the word, Oh you know, we have a lot of pubs surrounding us go to a pub.

[00:28:29] Trey Gerrald: Like you can go there, like, and was internalized as so offensive. But even your review about French laundry that I feel like they were treated much worse than

[00:28:39] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah.

[00:28:41] Trey Gerrald: So it's really just like, what's going on. And there's just the spelling of Sabbat. I even explain. It's just like, it's a mess.

[00:28:48] Chelsey Donn: I think I'm ready to crown. you

[00:28:51] Trey Gerrald: it. All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crowd cards and an effort to be fair and not influence one another. We will simultaneously reveal our white burgundy ratings.

[00:29:05] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:29:14] Chelsey Donn: Oh, I almost did one. Okay. I broke our streak of being completely unanimous. I'm holding up half ground tray is holding a blood count. I was very close to holding up one because I knew you were going to do that. But I had a stick with my guts and say, Half crown from our QC for everything that's already been stated that doesn't need to be restated.

[00:29:35] Chelsey Donn: I just don't think it's a very valuable Review!. I think it's very slanted and unfortunately it makes them all look really bad. Um, and it doesn't make by proxy almost ends up making the restaurant look better because she's really throwing herself under the, under the bus there. So that's why I had to go with a half crown.

[00:29:53] Chelsey Donn: Why did you go with a full crown from.

[00:29:57] Trey Gerrald: I went with a full ground because ultimately I feel that. I have now done more research on this restaurant that I'd never heard of before. And I recognize to have reservations. We didn't talk about this and the Review!, but it is also annoying that I'm all mentioned the other restaurant where they were treated like gold, is gross.

[00:30:17] Trey Gerrald: And I really think so much of this was about. Uh, malls pocketbook rather than restaurant itself. So I went with one because I learned you need a reservation otherwise. Wow. But I ha I do think them all is hilarious and they are w there's a wealth of hilarious reviews. So maybe in a year when we do repeat offenders again, I will come back within them all because there's a lot there.

[00:30:43] Chelsey Donn: Or whenever you want, you know, we don't need to have a special you to come with a repeat offender. Try anytime. You'd like, you want to bring another I'm all in. I'm ready to let.

[00:30:54] Trey Gerrald: All right. I love that.

[00:30:56] My Royal Highness

[00:30:56] Trey Gerrald: All right. Well, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show Chelsey. Who are you inducting today for?

[00:31:05] VOICEOVER: My Royal

[00:31:06] VOICEOVER: Highness!

[00:31:07] Chelsey Donn: Thanks for asking Trey. So today I'm going to induct Venmo and Zelle just because. What did we do before Venmo and Zelle? I remember there were so many occasions where I would go out with like a girlfriend or somebody and they would say like, I forgot my wallet. I'll pay you back. And then you would never get paid back.

[00:31:26] Chelsey Donn: fact that that can't happen anymore, that like nobody can ever just try to skimp out on a bill because they forgot their wallet. Is such a gift that would never have happened without Venmo and now Zelle, which has become more accessible as well. But really Venmo, I think, took the lip, you know, broke the lid up.

[00:31:47] Chelsey Donn: I don't guys, why are these expressions with lids? Um, but yeah, lids, but which will be another thing, but no, I mean, Venmo really made it super easy for us to be able to. Do things together and not have to make servers crazy, certainly by giving them 10 million credit cards. So much of our lives have been made easier by these money, digital transfers, um, like Venmo.

[00:32:14] Chelsey Donn: And for that reason, I wanted to nominate Venmo as My Royal Highness.

[00:32:21] Trey Gerrald: It's a really good induction. I remember when I first moved to the north from the south where, and the south it's like, can we split this six ways? And they would, but then you would New York and they're like, we won't split it more than. So then it was like, there was, there was a time what are we going to do?

[00:32:38] Trey Gerrald: What are we going to do?

[00:32:39] Chelsey Donn: Right. It's like, do you have cash? You have hash. I don't know if cash. Yeah. It's like a whole

[00:32:43] Trey Gerrald: much easier. Yeah. And because it's instant,

[00:32:45] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, exactly. It's incent. Zell's great. Cause Zell's really instant. I mean I've yeah, it's sell makes it really easy, but yeah, I, I'm not longing for a day before we had this easy system that would make it better to go out with, with friends.

[00:33:03] Trey Gerrald: I remember when I first moved to New York and I needed, I was short for my rant. And I remember having to go to a bodega to get a Western union

[00:33:13] Chelsey Donn: my God. Exactly. Can you imagine if she could have just held you?

[00:33:17] Trey Gerrald: I wonder if Western union even exists anymore, It has to.

[00:33:21] Chelsey Donn: does. It definitely does.

[00:33:23] Trey Gerrald: But I wonder if it's going to cease to exist at a certain point,

[00:33:27] Chelsey Donn: I don't know. I feel like there's always going to be people that need that kind of thing.

[00:33:30] Trey Gerrald: but like when was the last time you got a phone book?

[00:33:33] Chelsey Donn: Last time I had a phone book, do they even print phone books anymore?

[00:33:37] Trey Gerrald: I don't know. Cause that's something you would think. Well, there's gotta be people that like still use phone

[00:33:42] Trey Gerrald: books, but when was the time you saw one? I haven't seen one.

[00:33:45] Chelsey Donn: You're right. So maybe it will become obsolete. I'm sure everything will be, I mean, I'm sure money itself printed is going to become obsolete, which I'm a little afraid of that, but

[00:33:57] Trey Gerrald: I'm kind of ready. Let's do it.

[00:33:58] Chelsey Donn: yeah. Wow. mean, I guess in that, at that point, just invest it all in gold and if you're paranoid,

[00:34:05] Trey Gerrald: Well, we did at queen that is another round on the argue and RQ phone book of Ferris wheel life.

[00:34:13] Chelsey Donn: Yes, what a great birthday celebration. Thank you for joining me for my birthday today. Thank you for listening to the show. If you enjoy what you hear, please tell a friend. Okay. Give, give me a little birthday gift. Share the podcast with that person that you told you would share it with. And then you forgot to text them.

[00:34:30] Chelsey Donn: Just go ahead and share the podcast, please,

[00:34:34] Trey Gerrald: And if you didn't like what you heard telling enemy, please.

[00:34:38] Trey Gerrald: give Chelsey a little birthday gift. Go ahead and tell that into me that you said you were in a towel, but then you forgot. And then you did answer. Go ahead and do it.

[00:34:47] DONATE!

[00:34:47] Chelsey Donn: Yes. If you'd like to support the production of our show, which the show is completely self produced by Trey and myself, please visit Review That Review dot com slash donate or even a dollar tip is much appreciate.

[00:35:03] Trey Gerrald: Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with all of the goings on and The Queens.

[00:35:10] Chelsey Donn: Or a hit up our voicemail box 1 8 5 0 REVIEW 0. You can follow us on all the socials at @TheReviewQueens. And I'm at @ChelseyBD and that's Chelsey with a Y.

[00:35:21] Trey Gerrald: And I'm at @TreyGerrald.

[00:35:23] On Today's After Show Pod

[00:35:23] Chelsey Donn: On today's after show pod, we are rating and reviewing a five star review for passion lubes, natural water-based lube. stay tuned for that.

[00:35:43] Trey Gerrald: It's a blue for you.

[00:35:45] Chelsey Donn: I know a friend did send this to me,

[00:35:47] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God.

[00:35:48] Chelsey Donn: read it. I know. So if, if you want to find out what made Trey say

[00:35:54] Trey Gerrald: She wants the good Juju for her, for JJ, with that pleasure, passion, lib. And if you want to find out what made Chelsey say

[00:36:03] Chelsey Donn: great for nursing homes.

[00:36:06] Trey Gerrald: Then join our Patreon slash Review That Review so that you can hear our weekly members only after show companion podcast,

[00:36:17] Chelsey Donn: That's true.

[00:36:17] Trey Gerrald: and happy birthday to Chelsey. And for Chelsey's birthday gift, please remember

[00:36:22] Chelsey Donn: Ignore the haters. You're a queen.

[00:36:25] Trey Gerrald: gender nonspecific, Chelsey Donn birthday gift Yellowpages Western union, a mall. Birthday queen.

[00:36:33] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Bring me that $300 burgundy queen.

[00:36:39] Trey Gerrald: bye.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[00:36:58] Chelsey Donn: If we had a Review That Review candle, what do you think it would be?

[00:37:03] Trey Gerrald: Irish pub.

[00:37:07] Chelsey Donn: I Irish Pub! I think it would be $300 burgundy, personally.

[00:37:12] Trey Gerrald: We should do both,

[00:37:13] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Oh, we should see which one sells better. Okay.

[00:37:16] Trey Gerrald: I feel like I would just want the $300 white burgundy can't!'

[00:37:20] Chelsey Donn: But maybe the Irish pub smells delicious. Don't judge a book by its price tag.



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