TRANSCRIPT of Episode 58: "Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald

Episode 58: "Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone"

Transcription

*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:31] Chelsey Donn: Hello!

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hi, we were just having a dance party. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing..

[00:00:40] Chelsey Donn: . That Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: That is Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:57] Chelsey Donn: And that is Trey Gerrald.

[00:01:00] VOICEOVER: The

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.

[00:01:02] VOICEOVER: review Queens.

[00:01:06] Trey Gerrald: Now if you're Jones in for a little bit more and you want access to additional reviews and tidbits, you can get our weekly members only after show companion podcast, plus videos, merch discounts, and a whole lot more. When you join our Patreon over at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review honey Chelsey goose. How is. ya?

[00:01:32] Chelsey Donn: How is. My week's going well. I was just thinking when you were like I'm Jones, I was thinking of keeping up what the Jones is, which was making me think about their show on Hulu Hulu. Now on Hulu now. And I have like, maybe embarrassingly been watching it.

[00:01:52] Trey Gerrald: Oh.

[00:01:53] Chelsey Donn: It is kind of hilarious at like the degree of separation from real life.

[00:01:59] Chelsey Donn: The last episode that I watched Chris and Kylie wanted to do normal things. So they went to the grocery store the process of. Of Chris, like trying to put the chip in for the credit card machine to read the chip. I was just like, oh my God, I didn't even, I mean, I understand they talk about not wanting to be harassed by paparazzi, but like, wow.

[00:02:26] Chelsey Donn: Like she's not gone to a store. And paid for things herself to the point where putting inserting a chip into a card reader is, is like, Ooh, look at me. And it was just so funny, like she was filling her gas, which I guess she never does anymore. And she was very proud of herself. She was like, it's like riding a bike.

[00:02:47] Chelsey Donn: And I, I just thought, wow, that's so crazy that they don't do these everyday things for themselves. I Donn know it was very strange.

[00:02:55] Trey Gerrald: Well, I've actually never seen an episode of keeping up with their Kardashians.

[00:02:59] Chelsey Donn: Good for

[00:03:00] Trey Gerrald: not seen the new show. I've also never seen real Housewives, but did watch the Jenny Jones show, which used to be if you're Jones in for a little more,

[00:03:12] Chelsey Donn: Oh, true.

[00:03:12] Trey Gerrald: Donn.

[00:03:13] Chelsey Donn: That's true. I did watch some Jenny Jones back in the day, Moy, the Moy. And then like, if you were really feeling, especially, uh, scandalous. You would watch,

[00:03:24] Trey Gerrald: Jerry spring.

[00:03:24] Chelsey Donn: Jerry Springer?

[00:03:26] Trey Gerrald: Did you know that Jenny Jones was canceled because the show got sued because they did an episode of revealing your secret love to your friend. And it was a gay person who was telling a, their straight friend, they were in love with them. And the straight friend was so humiliated that he shot and murdered friend afterwards.

[00:03:43] Trey Gerrald: And so the family sued the Jenny Jones show

[00:03:45] Chelsey Donn: Oh my

[00:03:46] Trey Gerrald: did not tell the person That the person se confessing the secret love to them was a man. Because of that fragile masculinity, he murdered the friend that had a crush on

[00:03:56] Chelsey Donn: so scary and insane. And wow.

[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: man.

[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: The nineties

[00:04:01] Trey Gerrald: Anyway, speaking of horrific, horrible things, I have to share with you what happened to me this morning?

[00:04:06] Trey Gerrald: So I woke up literally Chelsey. This is not an exaggeration. I

[00:04:10] Chelsey Donn: I was gonna say, is this a Complaint?

[00:04:12] Trey Gerrald: No, this is, this is how my week's going.

[00:04:14] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Okay. Okay.

[00:04:16] Trey Gerrald: I talked about this with my therapist. Cause my therapist understands like, Uh, dream symbolism and what it represents in your life. So I'm not going to, I, I do not wish to share what I was dreaming about, but without exaggerating or adding anything to the story, the facts of what occurred, I woke up screaming into my pillow.

[00:04:40] Chelsey Donn: my God. Stop.

[00:04:41] Trey Gerrald: and Chelsey, Winnie David was already awake and working in the basement. So he didn't even hear, but Winnie, like ran over and was like, licking me, like licking me. But were like, it was like, a scared lick. It wasn't

[00:04:53] Chelsey Donn: are you

[00:04:54] Trey Gerrald: Yes. But I was having a night terror, which I've now Googled an UN unfolded, but I literally vocalized a scream and was like shaking myself and woke up.

[00:05:05] Trey Gerrald: Isn't that horrible.

[00:05:06] Chelsey Donn: That's really terrifying. I've been having very weird dreams lately too. Not like not really hard dreams. Thankfully, although like one was very scary and they looked it up and the dream interpretation was frightening to me cuz it wasn't, it was like one of those like bad. You know, I Donn know, I don't even like to put it into the energy, but it was not what I wanted to read in terms of the interpretation.

[00:05:28] Chelsey Donn: And I feel like my general feeling about dream interpretation, especially being someone that's like, I don't know, empathic, whatever you wanna call me. But, uh, I think that there's definitely not a one size fits all to the dream psychology. I really feel like it has to do with what's happening in your life.

[00:05:45] Chelsey Donn: And any symbolism. If you really think about it, you can probably put the pieces together.

[00:05:51] Trey Gerrald: Right.

[00:05:52] Chelsey Donn: On your own,

[00:05:53] Trey Gerrald: Wait, speaking of symbolism and, and stuff today is my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, Peggy.

[00:05:58] Chelsey Donn: birthday, Peggy.

[00:05:59] Trey Gerrald: Wait, Chelsey. How was your week going? Otherwise from my terrible dream and your frequent dreams.

[00:06:04] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Well, this isn't my Complaint, but I did get a paper cut this week. I've already complained about paper cut. So I won't get into it. Thank you for your sigh of like acknowledgement, but you know, just been on my mind, everything that I'm, that I'm doing, you.

[00:06:20] Trey Gerrald: terrible.

[00:06:20] Chelsey Donn: so that's really, that's been taking up a lot of my energy and it's in like a weird spot where if I were like, I've tried to put bandaid on it, but then I have to put the tape part on the nail part and it's just, you know, it's a lot.

[00:06:33] Trey Gerrald: Or when you try to like put a bandaid around the knuckle, like where it bends and then you like, can't get it to stick too tight, it cuts off the circulation and it doesn't stick like a whole thing. That really is

[00:06:42] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And Goldie likes to bite the bandaid, like off my finger. So I just have to go rogue with it and hope that I don't get any kind of infection, but I think I actually got this paper cut, which is like scary. And I Donn don't even wanna think about it from a knife, cuz it happened like right after I was putting the knife in the sink.

[00:07:01] Trey Gerrald: So that's not a paper. Cut. That's a

[00:07:04] Chelsey Donn: You're you're right. It's a knife cut, but like, it looks like a paper cut, but like it's very thin. So I think maybe my finger just like Gras the knife quickly.

[00:07:13] Trey Gerrald: skin's crawling. Oh, that's the

[00:07:15] Chelsey Donn: know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

[00:07:16] Trey Gerrald: I think that we really need some magic in our lives, cuz this is too much.

[00:07:20] Chelsey Donn: this is too much. You're right. I would love some magic please.

[00:07:25] Trey Gerrald: Let's be Oprah and create our own magic

[00:07:27] Chelsey Donn: You get a magic and you get a magic. Okay. Magic.

[00:07:31] Lodge A Complaint

[00:07:31] Chelsey Donn: Okay,

[00:07:32] Trey Gerrald: you have anything need to complain about this week? Is there something you

[00:07:37] Chelsey Donn: I think I've mentioned this on the pod before, but like I describe when people say like, are you vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, whatever. I always say I'm one food documentary away from becoming a vegetarian. That's how I describe myself. I'm mostly vegetarian. I will eat chicken. I will eat meat occasionally.

[00:07:57] Chelsey Donn: But I ordered chicken dumplings, cuz I like the chicken dumplings from this place.

[00:08:03] Trey Gerrald: or fried

[00:08:04] Chelsey Donn: Steamed I've probably gotten them from this restaurant dozens of time, this time bit into the dumpling chicken dumpling, a bone. Okay. Finding an unexpected bone in a meat product. Yeah, because dumpling, you know, the center of it like ground chicken,

[00:08:27] Trey Gerrald: Oh no, no, no, no,

[00:08:29] Chelsey Donn: they probably , they probably put the chicken or whatever in the grinder, there was a bone in guys, I can't ever eat this product again. I'm I I'm like gonna have to rethink all kinds of things

[00:08:40] Trey Gerrald: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, was bone like a, a teeny tiny, like hard crunch or was it like a non meant bone? Well,

[00:08:49] Chelsey Donn: No. It was like a teeny, tiny, crunch, but it was like, I know, but it like enough.

[00:08:53] Trey Gerrald: you spit it out or did you

[00:08:55] Chelsey Donn: Oh, I spit it out immediately. I couldn't eat the rest of the dumplings. I don't know. The next time I'm gonna be able to order from this restaurant in general. If I do, obviously I'll have to go vegetarian, but like trauma, like lower T trauma, but like still trauma.

[00:09:11] Trey Gerrald: No. No,

[00:09:12] Chelsey Donn: I remember in college, my friend, Liz Alder, fur was eating at papaya king. Do you remember that place in New York? Yeah,

[00:09:22] Trey Gerrald: 72nd street.

[00:09:23] Chelsey Donn: exactly. I think actually the one that like closer to 14th street

[00:09:27] Trey Gerrald: yeah. Oh yes. My therapist used

[00:09:30] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And she bit into a hot dog and a bone came out. Of a hot dog. It didn't even happen to me. I remember being mortified.

[00:09:44] Chelsey Donn: I wanna say she just like spit it out and then continued eating the hot dog. I, I just like, I can't, I'm so close to being a vegetarian and I understand that I'm a hypocrite, but like, I Donn don't eat meat. That's on the bone. I don't like anything about the process of eating the food to remind me where it came from.

[00:10:01] Chelsey Donn: It like skis me out. I just need that separation of mind. I like the taste, but I don't want to be reminded when I'm eating the thing, especially in an unexpected bone, not to mention the risk of choking. So I'm lodging a Complaint and I won't put the restaurant on blast, but whew.

[00:10:19] Trey Gerrald: You had a bone to pick

[00:10:21] Chelsey Donn: did have a bone to pick

[00:10:23] Trey Gerrald: with them. but no, I definitely understand. You do not want to

[00:10:28] Chelsey Donn: Ugh. Growth, not

[00:10:31] Trey Gerrald: I'm sorry.

[00:10:31] Chelsey Donn: Not okay. Thank you. All right, Trey. What about you? Do you have a Complaint this week? Are you okay?

[00:10:35] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I wanted to, I, I wanted to,

[00:10:41] Chelsey Donn: I feel like, are you frozen or are you just like in

[00:10:44] Trey Gerrald: my Complaint. I

[00:10:46] Chelsey Donn: didn't hear any of that. You were frozen the whole time.

[00:10:50] Trey Gerrald: that's the joke. I hate bad service. hate bad service when you are, especially in this day and age of zoom. When you have a very important phone call or a very important Skype meeting or a very important zoom when you have bad service and you don't even know, like if the person has dropped or not, and you're trying to figure it out when it's just like all of a sudden you're like so stressed because they're like, Oh. I, I lost you. Oh Or. The worst case scenario. And this happens to us sometimes where you

[00:11:23] Trey Gerrald: get a freeze frame and of course your face is in the disgusting,

[00:11:28] Chelsey Donn: always.

[00:11:28] Trey Gerrald: especially when it's a business or a very important meeting. Like I, this once happened, like I don't wanna go into all these details cuz it's stupid.

[00:11:36] Trey Gerrald: But like I once, uh, was switching managers and my managers are in Los Angeles. So the only way I could meet with them was on Skype. And I was so terrified of having bad service. That I had to sit in a really weird position and it had to be Skype. So I was like in the window to get really good lighting.

[00:11:58] Trey Gerrald: Like the service was so choppy, but no one was acknowledging it and my leg fell asleep. And so we were saying our goodbyes,

[00:12:08] Chelsey Donn: Oh, stop.

[00:12:09] Trey Gerrald: to Christ that this happened to me. And I stood up and I literally tum tumbled to

[00:12:16] Chelsey Donn: Oh, no,

[00:12:17] Trey Gerrald: because my leg went to sleep no. one

[00:12:20] Trey Gerrald: acknowledged it. And I, but like I had, it was on the computer.

[00:12:23] Trey Gerrald: So the computer went with me, so I just tried to play it off. And I think that that lives so severely inside of me Anytime I have a meeting or anything that requires cell service or internet connection. I'm so worried of, of it being dropped. Like somehow I'm responsible for my wifi connection. Like I maybe we are, But like anyway,

[00:12:45] Chelsey Donn: also like anything could happen.

[00:12:47] Trey Gerrald: well that's my Complaint is like the anxiety around the bad service and losing service and being frozen and compromising. Position. And then how much time has gone by where you Donn didn't know or they didn't know. And then it's like, you know, just high level anxiety attack

[00:13:04] Chelsey Donn: Totally on all sides. Ugh. I hate that.

[00:13:07] Trey Gerrald: that. never happened on the Jetsons

[00:13:10] Chelsey Donn: you're right. Judy always was able to make every call. She wanted to make Astro, never had any issues.

[00:13:18] Trey Gerrald: was the son's name?

[00:13:20] Chelsey Donn: Leroy,

[00:13:20] Trey Gerrald: His wife,

[00:13:21] Chelsey Donn: Leroy, right?

[00:13:22] Trey Gerrald: right? Anyway.

[00:13:24] Chelsey Donn: Daughter, Judy. Um, all

[00:13:28] Trey Gerrald: we take this, um, connection and jump on over into some online reviews.

[00:13:32] Chelsey Donn: We absolutely should. Let's do it.

[00:13:37] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:13:41] Trey Gerrald: You really fell for it. When I was acting like I was frozen, boo.

[00:13:44] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my God, because you were, you're such a good actor. That's I mean, obviously, and also it's happened to us in real life. So I was like, is this the real, you know, is this just fantasy? Yeah. Whatever, as you know, we are your trustee review Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:14:05] Trey Gerrald: we read you the review, break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It is a very Regal process that we call.

[00:14:15] VOICEOVER: Says that Kvetch.

[00:14:21] Trey Gerrald: All right. So I'm going back to the roots and I have a review from good reads.com.

[00:14:31] Chelsey Donn: Very Regal. What do you have for

[00:14:32] Trey Gerrald: So today? I'm gonna share with you a three star review from user Queen may not isn't that an exciting username. ChelseyBD.

[00:14:45] Chelsey Donn: well, considering we're the review Queens, I think we

[00:14:51] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Well, okay. So to be fair, I'm adding Queen it's actually an emoji of the crown and then may in lowercase. So I'm imagining you interpret that as Queen may, maybe it's king, may I Donn don't know

[00:15:06] Chelsey Donn: yeah. I think Queen may crown may crown me crown me.

[00:15:12] Trey Gerrald: It's gonna be may.

[00:15:14] Chelsey Donn: It's gonna be crown may. Okay. We're

[00:15:17] Trey Gerrald: regardless, emoji crown may.

[00:15:20] Chelsey Donn: gonna call them. Queen may.

[00:15:21] Trey Gerrald: Let's just go with Queen may.

[00:15:22] Trey Gerrald: It's

[00:15:23] Chelsey Donn: Queen may.

[00:15:24] Trey Gerrald: So this is Queen May's three star review on good reads, four Harry Potter and the sorcerer

[00:15:32] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:15:33] Trey Gerrald: stone. This is the Harry Potter book. Number one. Written by JK Rowling, allegedly conspiracy theory. And this was

[00:15:40] Trey Gerrald: written in June of 2017. here

[00:15:46] Trey Gerrald: we.

[00:15:46] Trey Gerrald: go.

[00:15:47] Chelsey Donn: we.

[00:15:48] Trey Gerrald: I'm putting aside precious reading time to try and formulate a review for y'all. So you should be AALS grateful parentheses and not attack me for my rating. So clearly I had a very, very sad childhood I had not read Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, or any other of those must read or else you never experienced happiness as a child end quote kind of books.

[00:16:22] Trey Gerrald: But I was actually a pretty happy kid. Go figure Harry Potter. Number one was a all caps and bold good. It was fascinating. It was adventurous. It was different. And it was also average. Now I don't mean average in a bad way. I mean that there was nothing in the book that made me Atal gasp or cry or shout out in frustration or anticipation.

[00:16:55] Trey Gerrald: It was a good book, nothing more, nothing less. I just want to say exclamation mark exclamation, mark. All caps. All of your judgment is clouded by your nostalgia. Exclamation mark exclamation mark dash there. I said it by everyone. Read this book as a kid. Yes, that's caps. Awesome. I'm italic so happy for you and that you get to experience your childhood all over again with rereads.

[00:17:31] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God. My voice just cracked that you get to experience your childhood all over again with rereads, however, comma written as the word. As a person who's reading this book with purely unbiased parentheses. I'm giving myself too much credit here and parentheses eyes. I have come to the professional conclusion that this book will not caps.

[00:18:00] Trey Gerrald: In fact, knock your woo socks off, but it's definitely fun to read. The writing is clear. It's easy to binge it's short and to the point without over wordy prose, the plot was interesting. The characters were fun. Parentheses thought. Harry Potter is suffering from a serious case of special snowflake syndrome. And parentheses. So yes, it was a nice read, but so were many other books I read this year and this one definitely didn't instill some newfound love in my soul for magic and wizards and woo socks dash. I already have enough there initially. I'm just fricking glad I'm starting to get all the references. All you muggles throw around all the time. Don't worry. I will most definitely be continuing with this series. Smiley face parentheses italics. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends, end stars.

[00:19:15] Trey Gerrald: Exclamation mark exclamation, mark,

[00:19:21] Trey Gerrald: all cap. Yes. You read that, right? I'm finally starting this series after years of ignorance, parenthesis, more like I've been bullied into this, but Hey, now I'll know What the colorful hat sorting names mean. Smiley face.

[00:19:44] Chelsey Donn: WTF happened at the end of that review?

[00:19:47] Trey Gerrald: They tried to make, like, like a footnote basically. Like they just did. So it's like a borderline basically.

[00:19:54] Chelsey Donn: My God, there's a lot of like psychological ish happening. I, I think with Queen may.

[00:20:02] Trey Gerrald: Yes. Talk on, speak on it. What

[00:20:05] Chelsey Donn: I'm I'm feeling like a little bit of delusions of grandeur. I'm also

[00:20:11] Trey Gerrald: there for you?

[00:20:12] Chelsey Donn: childhood, like was bullied as a kid. And then like, I don't know, maybe found a straightening iron or something and then like gained some sort of popularity. So like there's a little bit of that. Like, I have more value than the average human, but also I don't.

[00:20:31] Chelsey Donn: I, I don't know. And then like, they're quoted at the end. There's just like so much happening in here. I, I wrote, I wrote a lot of notes. Why are you telling us that you're taking time away from your precious reading time to write this review? First of all,

[00:20:48] Trey Gerrald: It's a very good reads thing, cuz I feel like everyone's like super into books and cuz all of the reviews are so interesting as you know, and they include gifts and they include pictures and you're allowed to do a bunch of formatting, which is fun, but

[00:21:02] Trey Gerrald: like,

[00:21:02] Chelsey Donn: but honey, you chose write this review. Nobody put a gun to your head. Nobody said you have to do this. You chose. So why are you asking at the top of your review? I you're Queen may, but why are you asking us to bow down to you? you've taken the time to write what, in my opinion, no offense is essentially a long written average review.

[00:21:29] Chelsey Donn: We used average vocabulary when we were describing things, we them, you know, fascinating and adventurous and good and average. I mean, the language in this was nothing to write home about. So I just don't understand the device. That Queen may has chosen of, like, I get it, I'm stupid. And I should like this.

[00:21:54] Chelsey Donn: And I kind of do, and I'll keep reading, like, what is the point? I understand it's a three star review. It is very middle of the road. It is a very math, which I guess is appropriate, but I just feel like there's so much in this review that has nothing to do with the book and all to do with the culture around.

[00:22:13] Chelsey Donn: Harry Potter and how you feel for having missed out for whatever reason on this trend. Also the childhood stuff. I mean, again, more psychology about the good verse, bad. Like I'm gonna be honest and vulnerable. I guess. I didn't read the Harry Potter books either. I didn't read Percy Jackson. I didn't read any of those things.

[00:22:33] Chelsey Donn: Wanna know why? Cuz I was like, On my bike in my neighborhood, hanging out with my friends, playing games, doing things, whatever. Like I had a great childhood. I had, like, I had fun. We did things. I was more of a do or less of a reader. Do I think that that means that I had a bad childhood? No, I Donn didn't understand how those things are analogous.

[00:22:56] Chelsey Donn: And then you're saying you didn't, so who created this like metric it's it's absurd.

[00:23:02] Trey Gerrald: It's really fascinating because you can tell off the top that Queen may is angry about having to read this book,

[00:23:11] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:23:11] Trey Gerrald: which

[00:23:12] Chelsey Donn: don't read it

[00:23:13] Trey Gerrald: exactly. And the whole thing is like very long to just say like, I didn't really want to read this. I felt like maybe I should, because it

[00:23:21] Trey Gerrald: was so popular and I, I don't understand why it's popular.

[00:23:23] Trey Gerrald: I think it's fine. It's not bad. It's fine. Like, that's all you would have to say, but then. they end with, I'm gonna continue reading the series. And I also wanna point out there are 257 likes and there are 104. Replies. And, and I went through three pages of replies Chelsey, and no one came for Queen may. So many people were like the first book isn't as good as the series.

[00:23:50] Trey Gerrald: Like totally understand. Keep going. Maybe you'll get into it more on like in to the series book. One really is just setting up the world. Totally get you girl. Like no one was like, how dare

[00:24:02] Chelsey Donn: is a good reads thing. That is a good read specific thing,

[00:24:06] Trey Gerrald: it's, it's so interesting cuz I also, I obviously everyone knows, especially now, like Harry Potter was a true phenomenon. I remember when the book, the next book would come out, people would wait in line.

[00:24:19] Trey Gerrald: Like it was the iPhone dressed up in Coplay. It was

[00:24:23] Chelsey Donn: It was a deal. It was the

[00:24:24] Trey Gerrald: People were. Crazy. And I was also like, Queen may.

[00:24:28] Trey Gerrald: I was sort of like what, like, and I bought the first book, this one and I tried to read it and I got a couple chapters in and I was like, I just don't think, like, I don't think I really care that much. And I only saw the first movie, like I didn't read the books. I didn't see the films. Like I've never seen Lord of the rings.

[00:24:46] Trey Gerrald: I've never watched game of Thrones. Like none of that stuff is my genre necessarily, but I just think this review is so interesting because is it common? I feel like maybe it might be common nowadays that it's such a staple in the culture that you might sort of be like, well, I never read it, but maybe I should, because I missed a Mo like, you might have a sense of like, oh, like, I guess maybe I want to know what everyone is

[00:25:11] Trey Gerrald: talking about. But I do think that Queen may has taken it to like a really

[00:25:17] Chelsey Donn: agree. Yeah.

[00:25:19] Trey Gerrald: emotional place that feels very much at. What, I don't know who you like, I Donn, like, why do you, why does it have all this meaning for you, maybe one person made fun of them or was like, oh, you must have had a sad childhood, but it sort of, it just feels very aggressive.

[00:25:36] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, it feels aggressive to me. I wanna say I am proud of the good reads community for not like hopping on a bullying bandwagon.

[00:25:43] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:25:45] Chelsey Donn: But I just think there's not a lot of value when you're bringing in so much of your psychological issues into this review. I mean, maybe a lot of people have a similar psychological problem, but I just think this is on, you may read the books or Donn, don't read the books, but Donn don't make it seem like.

[00:26:05] Trey Gerrald: there's a battle going on,

[00:26:07] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, like you have the choice, the choice is yours. The magic is yours. It is in your hands.

[00:26:15] Trey Gerrald: I also really did feel like truthful versus shady here. I think that like the nuts and bolts of this review in May's opinion, which is what you're gonna get when you read Queen May's review. Is that may felt like it's not spectacular. It's like, it's totally whatever it is. And I'll try the next book.

[00:26:35] Trey Gerrald: Like I think that's why people perhaps were not attacking her or them because basically It's sort of like, in your opinion, it was like fine.

[00:26:43] Trey Gerrald: So

[00:26:44] Chelsey Donn: like, don't you think that, that, that assessment, which again, completely worthy assessment to say that, like, it reminds me of when a movie gets really hyped up and then like you go and see the movie and you're like, it was fine. Like, it didn't like blow my socks off and, and sometimes knock my socks off.

[00:27:00] Chelsey Donn: And then in that case, sometimes you wish, I wish people didn't tell me how great the movie is. Cuz maybe then I would've enjoyed it more. So I understand that. Aspect of it, but I feel like if the, if the point that you're trying to get across is it was fine. I do feel like that message got muddied. Now I do think readers of good read reviews are more willing to go the long mile

[00:27:26] Trey Gerrald: Correct.

[00:27:27] Chelsey Donn: and really get into the individual experience.

[00:27:30] Chelsey Donn: For me, it took me out of it. It was a distraction, the attitude, the almost

[00:27:37] Trey Gerrald: You should be grateful

[00:27:38] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. The both self, self aggrandizing, and also self victimizing that was inherent within this review was very distracting to me and made me feel like, can I trust this person? I Donn don't know if I can trust me because in one moment they're talking like they're the Queen of England and we should grateful.

[00:28:02] Chelsey Donn: And then in the other moment, they're like, Wow. I had a bad childhood or everybody thinks I did. And I'm being bullied. I don't know. It just feels like a lot for a medium temperatured

[00:28:15] Trey Gerrald: children's book.

[00:28:16] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And children's like, and I remember from my childhood that what happened was the first book came out and it was more of like, A challenging, but a children's book.

[00:28:29] Chelsey Donn: And then as the books went on, they became like much longer, much more like evolved. So I would. If I get through this first book, like, you know, it's kind of like the first season of a show when Someone's first season. Yeah, the first season's good. But like, like I feel like shits Creek, right? Like the first season is good, but if you like stay on the ride with shits Creek, you are married to it.

[00:28:55] Chelsey Donn: You love it. You're in it. You know? And I think that this is similar where it's like you get through the first book and then you continue on. So are we getting new information from Queen? May. That we didn't already know.

[00:29:12] Chelsey Donn: I am shocked personally, that that many people liked this review and that that many people replied other than to say this book is so popular. And especially for millennials and younger, I feel like really discovered their love for reading and like, Ooh, this is something that I really like to do through Harry Potter.

[00:29:37] Chelsey Donn: So I would imagine. That this must be one of the most popular pages on good reads. So maybe just the volume of people that are going through this pages higher. And that's why there are that many replies. I feel like it would be a little more obvious if we had a comparison there, but I'm baffled by that.

[00:29:56] Trey Gerrald: There's a lot of discourse, which is interesting. It's interesting to me, but yes, the book itself has like 800 million bajillion reviews.

[00:30:03] Chelsey Donn: Right, right.

[00:30:04] Trey Gerrald: So were you entertained?

[00:30:08] Chelsey Donn: I was, I was like a little bit entertained again, like only because I felt like there was such a personality behind the review, which you know, that I like. And so whenever I'm like, oof, I know this girl, you know, like one minute we're, we're the top of the, the pile and the next minute, we're the bottom. So I, I, I understood who this person was.

[00:30:28] Chelsey Donn: And so following that journey was interesting, but I don't know that that was like intentional. Humor or anything like that? How about you?

[00:30:38] Trey Gerrald: I was entertained. I think it's funny, like, as you?

[00:30:41] Trey Gerrald: said, it's like the personality. Too

[00:30:43] Chelsey Donn: Oh, oh, I wanted, how many O's were in the so happy for

[00:30:50] Trey Gerrald: um, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,

[00:30:56] Chelsey Donn: you? Oh my God. I knew it

[00:30:57] Trey Gerrald: but it's lowercase, but it is a tall size syndrome.

[00:30:59] Chelsey Donn: that's funny. All right. So let's, let's crown Queen male. Let's decide whether or not she has special snowflake syndrome

[00:31:09] Trey Gerrald: Yes, let's do it. All right. So ChelseyBD and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair and not influence one another. We will simultaneously reveal our rating.

[00:31:21] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating

[00:31:25] Chelsey Donn: or not.

[00:31:27] VOICEOVER: to.

[00:31:29] Chelsey Donn: Oh, wow. Okay. So I'm holding up two and a half crowns. Trey is holding up three and a half crowns. I was gonna give three

[00:31:36] Trey Gerrald: Me

[00:31:36] Trey Gerrald: too.

[00:31:36] Chelsey Donn: I, I decided to go to two and a half, which is interesting. You were gonna give three and you decided to go to three and a half. I just went with two. I mean, listen, the two crowns are literally for the discourse.

[00:31:47] Chelsey Donn: And I guess the spelling, I just thought there was a whole lot of Queen may in this and not a lot of meat in terms of a proper review of a book. Like we're using very basic words to describe what we're calling something very basic. I didn't, sometimes you read those reviews and it's like, You can almost see how the reviewer is a writer themselves, and it really takes you on this literary journey.

[00:32:12] Chelsey Donn: And I, that's what I love in a, in a good reads review that passion. And I feel like it was a little ranty. It was a little complainy and I just couldn't, I couldn't give Queen may any more than two and a half crowns for that reason, but again, maybe I'm wrong. Tell me I'm wrong if I'm wrong. But, uh, I went with two and a half.

[00:32:34] Chelsey Donn: Why did you go with three and a.

[00:32:35] Trey Gerrald: Well, I was gonna do three just because may gave it three and so average. But then I was like, well, okay, so I did three and a half because ultimately yes, I think it's too verbose. I also think it's like too injected with like random hangups from their own psychopathy, but like,

[00:32:56] Chelsey Donn: Good

[00:32:57] Trey Gerrald: But I really liked all of that to the point of, like, I got a very clear picture of who is reviewing this, that sort of helps me connect the viewpoint with who I think the person is.

[00:33:13] Trey Gerrald: And then I also thought it was an interesting point to just sort of the say. I think it's not spectacular. It's not good. It's not bad. It's very average. It's, read many books that I thought were more compelling, made me gas, but Like I actually haven't really ever heard that ever in my life about Harry Potter.

[00:33:31] Trey Gerrald: So for that reason, I thought maybe there's some value there. I Donn don't think it's a deal breaker for me. I, you know, like I'm not gonna read it, but I thought it was an interesting point of view and I was entertained. And so for that reason, I said three and a half, you know? Yeah,

[00:33:45] Chelsey Donn: Valid. All right. Do we wanna take away Queen maze crown or should we leave her?

[00:33:51] Trey Gerrald: I think Queen may can keep the

[00:33:53] Chelsey Donn: she can keep the crown.

[00:33:54] Trey Gerrald: I don't wanna know what

[00:33:56] Chelsey Donn: I think Queen may would be very upset if we took away her crown. So Queen may keep your crown honey, keep your opinions flowing. We love a POV at very

[00:34:06] Trey Gerrald: happen if we took it. Amen.

[00:34:07] Chelsey Donn: Great.

[00:34:07] Trey Gerrald: Mike Queen. Well, we'll keep our crowns. And do you, you know, I don't know.

[00:34:12] My Royal Highness

[00:34:12] Trey Gerrald: Do you want to give a crown to something else? Like, you know, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show, so ChelseyBD who are you inducting today for?

[00:34:26] Chelsey Donn: Yes, Trey. I would love to do an induction for my Royal Highness, this Eve. So for me personally, the value of a Manny petty for me is huge. I feel like a totally new person. I don't get them all the time. Every once in a while. I do. I wanna specifically shout out green nail and Sherman Oaks. Now don't go everybody making appointments there because I won't be able to get an appointment, but.

[00:34:51] Chelsey Donn: I've been going to green nail for a long time. Now, pretty much since they opened in 2014 and I'll give a special shout out to ne who is the owner of the salon, who is absolutely lovely. And the reason why I go back to this, this nail salon over and over, and again, is because ne is nine times outta 10, maybe even nine and a half times outta 10.

[00:35:14] Chelsey Donn: She is on site and she is super passionate about keeping it. Extremely clean to the point with every single time that I'm there. She has a Swiffer she's out swiveling the floors. Like there is a lot of concerted effort to make sure that it not only is it clean, but like we're seeing her clean it. We know that it's, it's not for show cuz you walk in and it's extremely clean and then she's coming in with a Swiffer and she cares.

[00:35:44] Chelsey Donn: You can see that she really, really cares and, and it feels like she's the type of owner. That understands when I get a Manny petty, I like it to be clean for me. That is the number one requirement. So I would like to induct Negan and green nail as my Royal Highness. Thank you for doing my nails every six months.

[00:36:09] Chelsey Donn: Uh, probably since 2014. I very much appreciate you. And I wanna induct you as my Royal Highness. Thank you, Megan. Thank you. Green nail. Not to be confused with green nails, which is a different location and not the same owner. yeah. Green nail singular.

[00:36:28] Trey Gerrald: We did it Queen that is another round on the R

[00:36:39] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, magic.

[00:36:45] Trey Gerrald: you a RQ Ferris wheel

[00:36:45] Chelsey Donn: Goldie agrees. All right. Thank you so much for joining us today. If you'd like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:36:53] Trey Gerrald: If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

[00:36:56] Chelsey Donn: If you'd like to support the production of our show, please visit Review That Review dot com slash donate. Even a dollar tip is so appreciated.

[00:37:05] Trey Gerrald: Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with the goings on and the Queen.

[00:37:11] Chelsey Donn: Hit up our voice mailbox. 1 8 50 review, zero. Let us know. Are you a reader? Do you have thoughts on today's episode, please let us know. You can also follow us on all the socials at the review Queens. I'm at ChelseyBD.

[00:37:28] Trey Gerrald: And I am at Trey Gerrald.

[00:37:31] Chelsey Donn: And on today's special Patreon only after show pod. We are rating and reviewing a one star Yelp review for Jiffy lube in Los Angeles.

[00:37:47] Trey Gerrald: Oh, no.

[00:37:48] Chelsey Donn: Yep. yep. So to find out what made Trey say.

[00:37:53] Trey Gerrald: Watch out for as fuck out there and to find out what made Chelsey say.

[00:37:58] Chelsey Donn: Definitely watch

[00:38:01] Trey Gerrald: Then join our Patreon over at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review so that you can hear our special weekly members only after show companion podcast.

[00:38:13] Chelsey Donn: out

[00:38:14] Trey Gerrald: In the meantime, remember

[00:38:16] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Ignore the haters. You're our Queen. Even you may.

[00:38:20] Trey Gerrald: gender nonspecific dumbed door Hogwartz Queen.

[00:38:24] Chelsey Donn: Gender non-specific Queen may Queen

[00:38:29] Trey Gerrald: Hogwarts.

[00:38:30] Chelsey Donn: magic. Bye.

[00:38:32] Trey Gerrald: I can't think of any other teams,

[00:38:34] Chelsey Donn: What teams? Oh, raving. Claw. Yeah. Bye.

[00:38:39] Trey Gerrald: Hufflepuff. Bye.

[00:38:42] Trey Gerrald: Magic.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[00:39:00] Chelsey Donn: Do you believe in magic?

[00:39:03] Trey Gerrald: When I saw the Harry Potter shut, like play on Broadway. It was well, both plays, but now it's one play. It was the most magical experience. I've. Out in the theater. Oh my God. The special effects were crazy Chelsey can't!' if it's in LA you have to go see it. It is crazy.

[00:39:21] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I hate missing all the Broadway fun. I do remember when that came out, the whole shtick about it was that it was like a whole day experience, Cuz it was like a proper musical then a little bit of a break and then a full second proper music. It was like doing a double.

[00:39:40] Trey Gerrald: Well, they weren't musicals. Um, they were too, like, it's like see, uh, angels in America. Like they were like two, two hour and 45 minute

[00:39:50] Chelsey Donn: Crazy.

[00:39:51] Trey Gerrald: two. Yeah. it was cool though. Oh

[00:39:51] Chelsey Donn: long play too. All right. Well, I'll be on the bucket list. Keep your

[00:39:59] Trey Gerrald: your wands up

[00:40:02] Chelsey Donn: wands up Queens.

---

Photo by Girl with red hat on Unsplash