TRANSCRIPT of Episode 58: "Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 58: "Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:31] Chelsey Donn: Hello!

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hi, we were just having a dance party. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing..

[00:00:40] Chelsey Donn: . That Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: That is Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:57] Chelsey Donn: And that is Trey Gerrald.

[00:01:00] VOICEOVER: The

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.

[00:01:02] VOICEOVER: review Queens.

[00:01:06] Trey Gerrald: Now if you're Jones in for a little bit more and you want access to additional reviews and tidbits, you can get our weekly members only after show companion podcast, plus videos, merch discounts, and a whole lot more. When you join our Patreon over at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review honey Chelsey goose. How is. ya?

[00:01:32] Chelsey Donn: How is. My week's going well. I was just thinking when you were like I'm Jones, I was thinking of keeping up what the Jones is, which was making me think about their show on Hulu Hulu. Now on Hulu now. And I have like, maybe embarrassingly been watching it.

[00:01:52] Trey Gerrald: Oh.

[00:01:53] Chelsey Donn: It is kind of hilarious at like the degree of separation from real life.

[00:01:59] Chelsey Donn: The last episode that I watched Chris and Kylie wanted to do normal things. So they went to the grocery store the process of. Of Chris, like trying to put the chip in for the credit card machine to read the chip. I was just like, oh my God, I didn't even, I mean, I understand they talk about not wanting to be harassed by paparazzi, but like, wow.

[00:02:26] Chelsey Donn: Like she's not gone to a store. And paid for things herself to the point where putting inserting a chip into a card reader is, is like, Ooh, look at me. And it was just so funny, like she was filling her gas, which I guess she never does anymore. And she was very proud of herself. She was like, it's like riding a bike.

[00:02:47] Chelsey Donn: And I, I just thought, wow, that's so crazy that they don't do these everyday things for themselves. I Donn know it was very strange.

[00:02:55] Trey Gerrald: Well, I've actually never seen an episode of keeping up with their Kardashians.

[00:02:59] Chelsey Donn: Good for

[00:03:00] Trey Gerrald: not seen the new show. I've also never seen real Housewives, but did watch the Jenny Jones show, which used to be if you're Jones in for a little more,

[00:03:12] Chelsey Donn: Oh, true.

[00:03:12] Trey Gerrald: Donn.

[00:03:13] Chelsey Donn: That's true. I did watch some Jenny Jones back in the day, Moy, the Moy. And then like, if you were really feeling, especially, uh, scandalous. You would watch,

[00:03:24] Trey Gerrald: Jerry spring.

[00:03:24] Chelsey Donn: Jerry Springer?

[00:03:26] Trey Gerrald: Did you know that Jenny Jones was canceled because the show got sued because they did an episode of revealing your secret love to your friend. And it was a gay person who was telling a, their straight friend, they were in love with them. And the straight friend was so humiliated that he shot and murdered friend afterwards.

[00:03:43] Trey Gerrald: And so the family sued the Jenny Jones show

[00:03:45] Chelsey Donn: Oh my

[00:03:46] Trey Gerrald: did not tell the person That the person se confessing the secret love to them was a man. Because of that fragile masculinity, he murdered the friend that had a crush on

[00:03:56] Chelsey Donn: so scary and insane. And wow.

[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: man.

[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: The nineties

[00:04:01] Trey Gerrald: Anyway, speaking of horrific, horrible things, I have to share with you what happened to me this morning?

[00:04:06] Trey Gerrald: So I woke up literally Chelsey. This is not an exaggeration. I

[00:04:10] Chelsey Donn: I was gonna say, is this a Complaint?

[00:04:12] Trey Gerrald: No, this is, this is how my week's going.

[00:04:14] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Okay. Okay.

[00:04:16] Trey Gerrald: I talked about this with my therapist. Cause my therapist understands like, Uh, dream symbolism and what it represents in your life. So I'm not going to, I, I do not wish to share what I was dreaming about, but without exaggerating or adding anything to the story, the facts of what occurred, I woke up screaming into my pillow.

[00:04:40] Chelsey Donn: my God. Stop.

[00:04:41] Trey Gerrald: and Chelsey, Winnie David was already awake and working in the basement. So he didn't even hear, but Winnie, like ran over and was like, licking me, like licking me. But were like, it was like, a scared lick. It wasn't

[00:04:53] Chelsey Donn: are you

[00:04:54] Trey Gerrald: Yes. But I was having a night terror, which I've now Googled an UN unfolded, but I literally vocalized a scream and was like shaking myself and woke up.

[00:05:05] Trey Gerrald: Isn't that horrible.

[00:05:06] Chelsey Donn: That's really terrifying. I've been having very weird dreams lately too. Not like not really hard dreams. Thankfully, although like one was very scary and they looked it up and the dream interpretation was frightening to me cuz it wasn't, it was like one of those like bad. You know, I Donn know, I don't even like to put it into the energy, but it was not what I wanted to read in terms of the interpretation.

[00:05:28] Chelsey Donn: And I feel like my general feeling about dream interpretation, especially being someone that's like, I don't know, empathic, whatever you wanna call me. But, uh, I think that there's definitely not a one size fits all to the dream psychology. I really feel like it has to do with what's happening in your life.

[00:05:45] Chelsey Donn: And any symbolism. If you really think about it, you can probably put the pieces together.

[00:05:51] Trey Gerrald: Right.

[00:05:52] Chelsey Donn: On your own,

[00:05:53] Trey Gerrald: Wait, speaking of symbolism and, and stuff today is my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, Peggy.

[00:05:58] Chelsey Donn: birthday, Peggy.

[00:05:59] Trey Gerrald: Wait, Chelsey. How was your week going? Otherwise from my terrible dream and your frequent dreams.

[00:06:04] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Well, this isn't my Complaint, but I did get a paper cut this week. I've already complained about paper cut. So I won't get into it. Thank you for your sigh of like acknowledgement, but you know, just been on my mind, everything that I'm, that I'm doing, you.

[00:06:20] Trey Gerrald: terrible.

[00:06:20] Chelsey Donn: so that's really, that's been taking up a lot of my energy and it's in like a weird spot where if I were like, I've tried to put bandaid on it, but then I have to put the tape part on the nail part and it's just, you know, it's a lot.

[00:06:33] Trey Gerrald: Or when you try to like put a bandaid around the knuckle, like where it bends and then you like, can't get it to stick too tight, it cuts off the circulation and it doesn't stick like a whole thing. That really is

[00:06:42] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And Goldie likes to bite the bandaid, like off my finger. So I just have to go rogue with it and hope that I don't get any kind of infection, but I think I actually got this paper cut, which is like scary. And I Donn don't even wanna think about it from a knife, cuz it happened like right after I was putting the knife in the sink.

[00:07:01] Trey Gerrald: So that's not a paper. Cut. That's a

[00:07:04] Chelsey Donn: You're you're right. It's a knife cut, but like, it looks like a paper cut, but like it's very thin. So I think maybe my finger just like Gras the knife quickly.

[00:07:13] Trey Gerrald: skin's crawling. Oh, that's the

[00:07:15] Chelsey Donn: know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

[00:07:16] Trey Gerrald: I think that we really need some magic in our lives, cuz this is too much.

[00:07:20] Chelsey Donn: this is too much. You're right. I would love some magic please.

[00:07:25] Trey Gerrald: Let's be Oprah and create our own magic

[00:07:27] Chelsey Donn: You get a magic and you get a magic. Okay. Magic.

[00:07:31] Lodge A Complaint

[00:07:31] Chelsey Donn: Okay,

[00:07:32] Trey Gerrald: you have anything need to complain about this week? Is there something you

[00:07:37] Chelsey Donn: I think I've mentioned this on the pod before, but like I describe when people say like, are you vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, whatever. I always say I'm one food documentary away from becoming a vegetarian. That's how I describe myself. I'm mostly vegetarian. I will eat chicken. I will eat meat occasionally.

[00:07:57] Chelsey Donn: But I ordered chicken dumplings, cuz I like the chicken dumplings from this place.

[00:08:03] Trey Gerrald: or fried