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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 61: "Rubik's Cube"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 61: "Rubik's Cube"

Transcription


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello!

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello there. And hello there, listeners. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:39] Chelsey Donn: reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:51] Trey Gerrald: That is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:53] Chelsey Donn: And that is Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: and together we are:

[00:00:57] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:01:01] Trey Gerrald: For access to additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly after show companion podcast, you have to be a member to hear join over at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review.

[00:01:14] Lillian Pops

[00:01:14] Trey Gerrald: Now, before we get any further in the show, Something happened at the very end of last weeks members only after show companion podcast that Chelsey and I have been getting so much, uh, attention, so many DMS, so many comments on.

[00:01:34] Trey Gerrald: So I thought it's only right that we bring it into today's actual show so that we can properly address. Here we go here is a very abbreviated clipped version so that if anyone is not a member of our Patreon, you'll have a little background info.

[00:01:52] VOICEOVER: I know this was like from the main show, but do you have any guesses what LP might stand for? Um, it probably means Laurel Peter Smith. I was thinking like Lawrence Peterson, like maybe like a Lillian, Lillian pops. I've never met anyone with the last name pops. Lilian pops. Well, thanks Queens. Have a great week stay.

[00:02:22] VOICEOVER: Queenly do all the things stay. Queenly keep Queen and whatever you do, ignore the haters. Ignore the haters question. What would Lilian pops do?

[00:02:35] VOICEOVER: Lillian pops li pops. Well, that's our new merch. Lillian. Karma's. It's so stupid. oh my God.

[00:03:03] Trey Gerrald: so Lillian pops was born. We are now crediting, uh, the quote that has become infamous. Karma's a bitch boys, two Lillian pops and at the tail end of that conversation, right before we signed off Chelsey suggested what if we did a contest where someone draws Lillian pops. So I'm bringing it to the main show.

[00:03:25] Trey Gerrald: If you are an artist, if you have an artistic flare, we would love to create some merch featuring Lillian pops, the primadonna of Review That Review. Please submit.

[00:03:35] Chelsey Donn: William pops is popping off.

[00:03:38] Trey Gerrald: pops is popping off. She's dawning a crown. if you want to submit a piece of artwork, we'll consider it for the next line of merch.

[00:03:47] Trey Gerrald: Anyway, Chelsey, how are ya?

[00:03:49] Chelsey Donn: I'm good. I'm good. You know, trudging along it's summer hot girl summer. I'm here for it. Mm. Yeah.

[00:03:55] Trey Gerrald: Oh, yeah, it's funny. We have two dogs as all of you listeners know. And our first dog Winnie loves to just look up into the sun and bark for no reason. There's, there's like. Yeah. She'll literally just sit there and like bark until we're like, no, no. So that's a joy of summer cuz she doesn't tend to want to sit out there when it's not nice out.

[00:04:22] Trey Gerrald: Uh, she really hates, well, she likes to run around in snow, but she has to like get in the snow first. I've been dealing with that a lot the bark

[00:04:30] Chelsey Donn: About her nonstop,

[00:04:32] Trey Gerrald: just into the sky. Like it's

[00:04:34] Trey Gerrald: so

[00:04:34] Chelsey Donn: think it's a boredom thing. I don't

[00:04:36] Trey Gerrald: Oh really?

[00:04:37] Chelsey Donn: It could be,

[00:04:38] Trey Gerrald: She gets attention.

[00:04:39] Chelsey Donn: yeah, they need attention.

[00:04:41] Trey Gerrald: Well, this week I discovered that I actually have access to Sirius XM through the app, which like, I must have known at some point, cuz we have it for David's car.

[00:04:52] Trey Gerrald: so I have access to the Michelle Collins show, which I am obsessed with Michelle Collins. And so now all week I've just been like binging, you know her two hour morning show. It's lovely. I'm that's been the highlight of my.

[00:05:06] Chelsey Donn: don't know if I know who that is. Is that bad?

[00:05:08] Trey Gerrald: Michelle Collins, you would love her.

[00:05:11] Chelsey Donn: Sorry, Michelle, she's a comic. Mm. I feel like I know like a Michelle Wolf.

[00:05:17] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:05:17] Chelsey Donn: All right. I'll have to look this up on my off time.

[00:05:19] Trey Gerrald: How was your week? Any, any highlights? Any, um, spectacular spectaculars?

[00:05:24] Chelsey Donn: I saw a jazz show. Love a good jazz show moment,

[00:05:28] Trey Gerrald: like the Utah jazz.

[00:05:30] Chelsey Donn: huh? Nice sports knowledge. Okay. Show off. No, like jazz, like the music jazz. I went to a, a dinner and jazz theater moment. It was fabulous. Food was good. Jazz was better, but the food was good.

[00:05:48] Trey Gerrald: did you think of felonious monk?

[00:05:51] Chelsey Donn: No, I

[00:05:53] Trey Gerrald: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed some jazz.

[00:05:55] Chelsey Donn: did.

[00:05:56] Trey Gerrald: I do love jazz.

[00:05:57] Lodge A Complaint

[00:05:57] Chelsey Donn: What about any complaints? Anything boiling?

[00:06:00] Trey Gerrald: Hmm. Yeah, I think that, I think that I could probably.

[00:06:04] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:06:05] Trey Gerrald: All right. So today I really need to Lodge a Complaint. Again, something that happens pretty often with packing tape, but it also happens with scotch tape, anytime the tape disconnects from the Cutty part and just sticks back to itself.

[00:06:22] Trey Gerrald: And then I'm feverishly trying to find where the

[00:06:27] Trey Gerrald: end of the tape is. And then oftentimes I can't peel it back off of itself evenly. And so then yeah, two, two separate forks in the road here of complaining, because one is when it's like little ribbons and you can't get it straight ever. And then the other fork, circling endlessly, digging my fingernail.

[00:06:48] Trey Gerrald: Like where is the tip? Where is the end of this? I can't find the end. Does anyone else encounter this? Why is it so challenging and difficult? And also when you use those tape gun, things like to do packages and boxes. Why is this? So willy-nilly free in the wind. Like there's no contraption to keep it when every motion of that tape gun is like back and forth, up and down.

[00:07:12] Trey Gerrald: Like there's so much movement. So why is there not something to keep it in place? I hated it. It's so annoying. I just wanna tape something and I'm going to war. Mm

[00:07:22] Chelsey Donn: I get it. That's annoying. I've been there before. I feel like I might've even complained about that once. I mean, it's just, if I didn't, it's on my list, it's just annoying. It's one of those things that's like, feels like it always happens when you're in a rush. Like that's when it'll happen or you're trying to wrap a gift and be sort of like fast with.

[00:07:43] Chelsey Donn: Never like it's the right time, you know?

[00:07:47] Trey Gerrald: Right, or it sticks to your hand and then it gets all like bubbly and weird and you're like, well, now it has like a weird discoloration. So now I have to like waste tape

[00:07:56] Chelsey Donn: Right. Oh yeah. You can't use the fingerprinted tape.

[00:08:00] Trey Gerrald: Hey, that's my Complaint.

[00:08:01] Chelsey Donn: I, I hear you. I think a lot of people would agree with that. That's pop and annoying

[00:08:07] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm . How about you? What's your Lillian Complaint?

[00:08:11] Chelsey Donn: my Lily Complaint, you know? We all know that I have anxiety, this isn't new. I have an issue with the loud doors. I don't like sounds that I don't anticipate. I also design a website. You know, I designed our website. I've designed quite a few. If you have a website and when I go to your website, it automatically plays a video.

[00:08:34] Chelsey Donn: Please stop. Please stop doing that. It is like, I feel personally accosted when I visit a website and it just forces me to watch a video with

[00:08:46] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, with

[00:08:46] Chelsey Donn: it's one thing. If it's a video starts playing and there's no sound okay, fine. I don't really care about that. But if I open up your website and a video starts playing, or I open up your website and a song starts playing, are there some sort of an auditory.

[00:09:05] Chelsey Donn: Response to me, just clicking on your website, please stop doing that. Okay. Nobody likes it. No, one's gonna wanna revisit your site. I'm not calling out the actors, cuz I love my fellow actors. But like if you're an actor, don't, don't have your real start playing. As soon as you get to your site, it's not a good look.

[00:09:26] Chelsey Donn: Nobody likes it. If you're a musician, don't have your song playing. As soon as I get there. What if I'm somewhere I can't have music and I just wanna read about you