top of page

TRANSCRIPT of Episode 62: "Authorized Apple Retailer"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 62: "Authorized Apple Retailer"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi!

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hello, and hi. Hello to all of you listeners. Welcome once again, to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:43] Chelsey Donn: Hello. Reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: um, that, that that's Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:58] Chelsey Donn: and that, that, that, that that's

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: And, um, well, when we come together for this podcast called Review, That Review, we form a really powerful couple called.

[00:01:10] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:16] Trey Gerrald: Now if you wanna access additional reviews, tidbits, more weird, random acting games. Like we just fell into, for some reason that we just both keep saying yes to then why Donn don't you go ahead and check out and join our members only after show companion podcast over. On our Patreon page, you'll get merch discounts, videos, a heck of a lot more, even an opportunity to be in the audience when we record.

[00:01:43] Trey Gerrald: Wouldn't that be great.

[00:01:44] Chelsey Donn: That would be great.

[00:01:45] Trey Gerrald: If you're new here. Hi, go over to Patreon. Patreon dot com slash Review That Review. We have membership tiers as low as $5 a month, cancel time, but she never would. Anyway, Chelsey, what are you doing? How are you? What are you not canceling? What are you paying for? What's new.

[00:02:02] Chelsey Donn: What is new? I went to the mall. That was fun.

[00:02:06] Trey Gerrald: The mall of America

[00:02:07] Chelsey Donn: not the mall of America, cuz I don't live in Minneapolis, but if I did sure, uh, I wouldn't bring Barbie with me or Foxy. No, I went to the century city mall, which is one of my happy places,

[00:02:21] Trey Gerrald: Oh yeah.

[00:02:22] Chelsey Donn: even just for a nice window shop. It's sort of like a, you know, an outdoor indoor kind of a mall.

[00:02:30] Chelsey Donn: So you can get your steps in. I miss those, like, I don't know. I just feel like the good old days when you just go to the mall and hang out and life was less complicated.

[00:02:40] Trey Gerrald: Do you remember like roller rinks? Did you have a roller rink?

[00:02:44] Chelsey Donn: Sure. Did, did I have a roller rink birthday party? Sure. Did. Did I take roller scathing lessons at the roller rink? Sure. Did rank

[00:02:52] Trey Gerrald: Did they do a thing where like the people that worked there would come out with like a broom that was decorated on and they would be on skates and you would do limbo while you were scathing.

[00:02:59] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Never a big fan of limbo. I didn't like things that induced anxiety and trying to do limbo while on skates, quite anxiety inducting also just like never, never been that flexible. So once the stick got to a certain point, became very stressful for me.

[00:03:19] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. You know, this is so random and just a thought, but isn't it interesting how. Roller scathing was like, I think of roller scathing as like seventies. Like it, it, maybe it existed prior to that, but like, I think of that as like the height people were in like bell bottoms, but somehow it was refurbished.

[00:03:37] Trey Gerrald: I remember our scathing

[00:03:38] Chelsey Donn: the nineties was also like a heyday for roller scathing and then rollerblading.

[00:03:44] Trey Gerrald: Well that thank you that you, well, I don't even need to finish

[00:03:46] Chelsey Donn: the words right out

[00:03:47] Trey Gerrald: what I was gonna do. But I was gonna say, I remember our roller scathing rink used to have shag carpeting and then it sort of like revamped itself into like fun, like crazy colors. Like it was like

[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: Very nineties saved by the bell. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:04] Trey Gerrald: Then it was the invention of the roller blades, where instead of having four wheels at all corners of your foot, they put them all straight down the middle. Like it was an ice skate with a lot of plastic buckles, but why, why did roller scathing rollerblading rolling around? Why did that go out of fashion?

[00:04:22] Chelsey Donn: I Donn, you know what, it's funny, cuz it it's like in and out of fashion, I think all the time. Right? Like anything that's old is new again. So there was like a period of time where we had overdone it. And now if you go to like Venice, you know, By the beach, like the boardwalk and stuff. You'll see. So many people roller, scathing and rollerblading, but really roller scathing I'll say has had a full resurgence as like a street activity, like an alternative to biking,

[00:04:54] Trey Gerrald: point. That's true. That, that, and it does feel very Venice to me.

[00:04:58] Chelsey Donn: right? I mean, they're selling a lot of roller skates over there and those overpriced tourist stores in Venice.

[00:05:05] Trey Gerrald: I wonder if, if roller ranks will reopen,

[00:05:07] Chelsey Donn: I think there are some in like the hipster neighborhoods.

[00:05:10] Trey Gerrald: like that could be a trend on TikTok?

[00:05:12] Chelsey Donn: I'm sure it is. It's gotta be, if you're listening and you like to roller skate or roller blade, let us know 180 5, 0 review zero.

[00:05:21] Trey Gerrald: we need to know.

[00:05:22] Chelsey Donn: We need to know.

[00:05:23] Chelsey Donn: Ugh. That made me feel old. Speaking of things that make you feel old, do you have things that you wanna complain about today? Trey? Because I feel like the older you get, the more you complain.

[00:05:32] Trey Gerrald: I actually have an old Complaint. So this is a really good So why don't we go ahead and

[00:05:36] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:05:38] Trey Gerrald: all right. So this week I need to Lodge a Complaint against cran wrap, not cran wrap itself. I can never successfully tear it. It just rips and like, it won't be a straight line. It's like, I'm scared of the razor blade.

[00:05:55] Chelsey Donn: same. So scared of the blade.

[00:05:57] Trey Gerrald: and like, and I can't!', I don't know. It's like, I, I, I don't know how to like, not get it to be all like bunchy, like chew up chewing gum, like on the, like, I Donn don't know how you get it to like stick and wrap and stay like, then I end up

[00:06:11] Chelsey Donn: it's a similar, it's similar to the tape with once you, once it gets Buny

[00:06:16] Trey Gerrald: you can't use

[00:06:17] Chelsey Donn: like you gotta remove that part.

[00:06:18] Trey Gerrald: you can't waste time trying to get this thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. Also what is, is it just plat? Who knows? I, it, it makes me so upset. So frustrated. It's more trouble than it's worth. It's just gimme aluminum foil. Like I can't do it. It's just like, it's so tender, but, but it's so strong when it comes to being cut.

[00:06:36] Trey Gerrald: So I Donn don't understand. I hate it. It's making me angry. I don't want to deal with wrap it's I'm sure it's bad for the environment, but anyway, that's my Complaint wrap and there it's inability to be cut evenly.

[00:06:47] Chelsey Donn: Uh, I don't think we're supposed to be using foil anymore. Trey, because of the aluminum. Yeah. I mean, there's all kinds of things I can't even keep up, but I also learned that we're, we're all likeand wrapping wrong, I guess.

[00:07:01] Trey Gerrald: Oh, oh,

[00:07:01] Chelsey Donn: I saw a video in TikTok that you're supposed to like, so I guess the right way Toran wrap is that you take it and you like, you put this, the like item.

[00:07:11] Chelsey Donn: So if this is the bowl, this is the top of the bowl. And you're trying to like wrap it. You put Theran wrap underneath the bowl and then you wrap it all the way around the entire bowl.