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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 62: "Authorized Apple Retailer"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 62: "Authorized Apple Retailer"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi!

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hello, and hi. Hello to all of you listeners. Welcome once again, to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:43] Chelsey Donn: Hello. Reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: um, that, that that's Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:58] Chelsey Donn: and that, that, that, that that's

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: And, um, well, when we come together for this podcast called Review, That Review, we form a really powerful couple called.

[00:01:10] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:16] Trey Gerrald: Now if you wanna access additional reviews, tidbits, more weird, random acting games. Like we just fell into, for some reason that we just both keep saying yes to then why Donn don't you go ahead and check out and join our members only after show companion podcast over. On our Patreon page, you'll get merch discounts, videos, a heck of a lot more, even an opportunity to be in the audience when we record.

[00:01:43] Trey Gerrald: Wouldn't that be great.

[00:01:44] Chelsey Donn: That would be great.

[00:01:45] Trey Gerrald: If you're new here. Hi, go over to Patreon. Patreon dot com slash Review That Review. We have membership tiers as low as $5 a month, cancel time, but she never would. Anyway, Chelsey, what are you doing? How are you? What are you not canceling? What are you paying for? What's new.

[00:02:02] Chelsey Donn: What is new? I went to the mall. That was fun.

[00:02:06] Trey Gerrald: The mall of America

[00:02:07] Chelsey Donn: not the mall of America, cuz I don't live in Minneapolis, but if I did sure, uh, I wouldn't bring Barbie with me or Foxy. No, I went to the century city mall, which is one of my happy places,

[00:02:21] Trey Gerrald: Oh yeah.

[00:02:22] Chelsey Donn: even just for a nice window shop. It's sort of like a, you know, an outdoor indoor kind of a mall.

[00:02:30] Chelsey Donn: So you can get your steps in. I miss those, like, I don't know. I just feel like the good old days when you just go to the mall and hang out and life was less complicated.

[00:02:40] Trey Gerrald: Do you remember like roller rinks? Did you have a roller rink?

[00:02:44] Chelsey Donn: Sure. Did, did I have a roller rink birthday party? Sure. Did. Did I take roller scathing lessons at the roller rink? Sure. Did rank

[00:02:52] Trey Gerrald: Did they do a thing where like the people that worked there would come out with like a broom that was decorated on and they would be on skates and you would do limbo while you were scathing.

[00:02:59] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Never a big fan of limbo. I didn't like things that induced anxiety and trying to do limbo while on skates, quite anxiety inducting also just like never, never been that flexible. So once the stick got to a certain point, became very stressful for me.

[00:03:19] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. You know, this is so random and just a thought, but isn't it interesting how. Roller scathing was like, I think of roller scathing as like seventies. Like it, it, maybe it existed prior to that, but like, I think of that as like the height people were in like bell bottoms, but somehow it was refurbished.

[00:03:37] Trey Gerrald: I remember our scathing

[00:03:38] Chelsey Donn: the nineties was also like a heyday for roller scathing and then rollerblading.

[00:03:44] Trey Gerrald: Well that thank you that you, well, I don't even need to finish

[00:03:46] Chelsey Donn: the words right out

[00:03:47] Trey Gerrald: what I was gonna do. But I was gonna say, I remember our roller scathing rink used to have shag carpeting and then it sort of like revamped itself into like fun, like crazy colors. Like it was like

[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: Very nineties saved by the bell. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:04] Trey Gerrald: Then it was the invention of the roller blades, where instead of having four wheels at all corners of your foot, they put them all straight down the middle. Like it was an ice skate with a lot of plastic buckles, but why, why did roller scathing rollerblading rolling around? Why did that go out of fashion?

[00:04:22] Chelsey Donn: I Donn, you know what, it's funny, cuz it it's like in and out of fashion, I think all the time. Right? Like anything that's old is new again. So there was like a period of time where we had overdone it. And now if you go to like Venice, you know, By the beach, like the boardwalk and stuff. You'll see. So many people roller, scathing and rollerblading, but really roller scathing I'll say has had a full resurgence as like a street activity, like an alternative to biking,

[00:04:54] Trey Gerrald: point. That's true. That, that, and it does feel very Venice to me.

[00:04:58] Chelsey Donn: right? I mean, they're selling a lot of roller skates over there and those overpriced tourist stores in Venice.

[00:05:05] Trey Gerrald: I wonder if, if roller ranks will reopen,

[00:05:07] Chelsey Donn: I think there are some in like the hipster neighborhoods.

[00:05:10] Trey Gerrald: like that could be a trend on TikTok?

[00:05:12] Chelsey Donn: I'm sure it is. It's gotta be, if you're listening and you like to roller skate or roller blade, let us know 180 5, 0 review zero.

[00:05:21] Trey Gerrald: we need to know.

[00:05:22] Chelsey Donn: We need to know.

[00:05:23] Chelsey Donn: Ugh. That made me feel old. Speaking of things that make you feel old, do you have things that you wanna complain about today? Trey? Because I feel like the older you get, the more you complain.

[00:05:32] Trey Gerrald: I actually have an old Complaint. So this is a really good So why don't we go ahead and

[00:05:36] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:05:38] Trey Gerrald: all right. So this week I need to Lodge a Complaint against cran wrap, not cran wrap itself. I can never successfully tear it. It just rips and like, it won't be a straight line. It's like, I'm scared of the razor blade.

[00:05:55] Chelsey Donn: same. So scared of the blade.

[00:05:57] Trey Gerrald: and like, and I can't!', I don't know. It's like, I, I, I don't know how to like, not get it to be all like bunchy, like chew up chewing gum, like on the, like, I Donn don't know how you get it to like stick and wrap and stay like, then I end up

[00:06:11] Chelsey Donn: it's a similar, it's similar to the tape with once you, once it gets Buny

[00:06:16] Trey Gerrald: you can't use

[00:06:17] Chelsey Donn: like you gotta remove that part.

[00:06:18] Trey Gerrald: you can't waste time trying to get this thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. Also what is, is it just plat? Who knows? I, it, it makes me so upset. So frustrated. It's more trouble than it's worth. It's just gimme aluminum foil. Like I can't do it. It's just like, it's so tender, but, but it's so strong when it comes to being cut.

[00:06:36] Trey Gerrald: So I Donn don't understand. I hate it. It's making me angry. I don't want to deal with wrap it's I'm sure it's bad for the environment, but anyway, that's my Complaint wrap and there it's inability to be cut evenly.

[00:06:47] Chelsey Donn: Uh, I don't think we're supposed to be using foil anymore. Trey, because of the aluminum. Yeah. I mean, there's all kinds of things I can't even keep up, but I also learned that we're, we're all likeand wrapping wrong, I guess.

[00:07:01] Trey Gerrald: Oh, oh,

[00:07:01] Chelsey Donn: I saw a video in TikTok that you're supposed to like, so I guess the right way Toran wrap is that you take it and you like, you put this, the like item.

[00:07:11] Chelsey Donn: So if this is the bowl, this is the top of the bowl. And you're trying to like wrap it. You put Theran wrap underneath the bowl and then you wrap it all the way around the entire bowl.

[00:07:27] Trey Gerrald: oh,

[00:07:28] Chelsey Donn: and that's how you keep it like nice and taught and attached to the thing. Like you're, you're like wrapping it like a gift, cuz what I was always trying to do was, you know, just rip it and then put it on top of the bowl and then just, you know, scrunch it in.

[00:07:44] Chelsey Donn: That's not a very safe way to do it. The safe way to do it. You gotta go all the way around the bottom of the bowl and then back around again and you gotta go around and around.

[00:07:53] Trey Gerrald: then how do you, what do you do with the sides

[00:07:56] Chelsey Donn: You wrap it around like one continuous piece,

[00:08:00] Trey Gerrald: then? What do you do about the open ends?

[00:08:03] Chelsey Donn: if there's open ends still. Cause the length of Theran wrap was not big enough to cover like whatever your bowl was. I guess you'd have to attack it from the other side as well.

[00:08:12] Trey Gerrald: Oh, I see. I didn't know if you were gonna like, uh, twist it, like it's a totsy roll.

[00:08:17] Chelsey Donn: I don't know that the Tutsi roll twist is the appropriate maneuver either way. I think we're supposed to be using reusable thing. I don't know what we're supposed to be using, but I do hope we're moving towards a place with easier and more environmental options than wrap. Because like saran wrap, she's gotta go.

[00:08:38] Chelsey Donn: Like she's not, she's no longer fulfilling the need. Sorry.

[00:08:42] Trey Gerrald: wrap, get outta here.

[00:08:44] Chelsey Donn: Susan Soran wrap. Pack your bags in the go.

[00:08:47] Trey Gerrald: So ChelseyBD what is your Complaint for this

[00:08:49] Chelsey Donn: Speaking of packing your bags and going, this is my Complaint. And this does have to do with the mall. I went to the food court century. City mall has a lovely food court. Okay. Now, as we know, I'm a Queen. However, you must clean up after yourself

[00:09:05] Chelsey Donn: at a food court. Who are you your Highness? If you think you can leave a food court table with your items still there, no one is coming around to pick up after you.

[00:09:18] Chelsey Donn: Like, I don't wanna have to touch your stuff. It's gross. Like in the time of COVID it's worse. Okay. We should have learned something in this, this like break that we took off from being able to go to public places, do not take your butt, lift it up and exit the vicinity of the food court and leave your trash behind.

[00:09:40] Chelsey Donn: It's disgusting. I'm over it. It's so rude. And it's a chain reaction and it creates overflow and it's confusion about who's there. Who's not there. Just clean up after yourself. It's a food court. Is that

[00:09:57] Trey Gerrald: I concur. There's even a restaurant that, oh, I, it might, no, I don't know what it is, but I can't remember the restaurant, but there's a place that I go and like, they clean up the tables after you. And so you just have to like get up and like leave. It's just the opposite impulse to just like leave clutter, like not go take it to a stupid trash can.

[00:10:18] Trey Gerrald: So I don't understand the mentality of like,

[00:10:22] Chelsey Donn: It's like the same people that leave their popcorn at the movie theater. Just leave it there. Like, yeah, Someone's gonna come in, but like, why should they have to clean up your popcorn bucket? Just throw out your popcorn bucket upon exit

[00:10:34] Trey Gerrald: Do wait, do you see a bunch of glitter on my shirt?

[00:10:38] Chelsey Donn: a little bit. Yeah. Why.

[00:10:42] Trey Gerrald: I got David was very sweet and he was at the mall with his friend and passed a lush and he knows that I love taking baths. So he got me two bath bombs.

[00:10:51] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:10:52] Trey Gerrald: And one, I, you know, I put it in and I didn't realize literally until I was in the midst of the bath, that it was glittery. Like I literally looked down the water and it was, I was like, oh my God, there's glitter in this.

[00:11:08] Trey Gerrald: And I was literally at work two days ago and my manager was like, Look, you got some glitter on your hand. And I was like, oh my God. And she started laughing and I was like, this is from a bath bomb that like, I can't get rid of it. And now I'm just looking at this t-shirt

[00:11:25] Chelsey Donn: And there it is

[00:11:26] Trey Gerrald: there's glitter on

[00:11:27] Chelsey Donn: glitter will follow you for the rest of your life. Trey,

[00:11:31] Trey Gerrald: Speaking of

[00:11:31] Chelsey Donn: you know, once you get involved with glit.

[00:11:34] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. It's like herpes.

[00:11:36] Chelsey Donn: exactly. It is the herpes of arts and crafts. They call it that. Yeah.

[00:11:41] Trey Gerrald: I can't

[00:11:41] Chelsey Donn: Well, I'm sorry I listen. If anything, it makes you sparkle a little bit, which nobody's gonna turn down a nice sparkle, so it doesn't look like crazy.

[00:11:52] Trey Gerrald: I thought it

[00:11:53] Chelsey Donn: crazy for you cuz you like know

[00:11:55] Trey Gerrald: thought it was just the white specs in the shirt, but it's no, it's actual glitter glistening anyway, whatever. Okay. I hear your Complaint. I guess I have a new Complaint about glitter and, um, let's move on. Should we jump into some online reviews?

[00:12:07] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. I would love that. Please. Let's do it.

[00:12:12] VOICEOVER: Review That Review

[00:12:16] Chelsey Donn: So as you know, we are your trustee review Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:12:25] Trey Gerrald: We read you a review, break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that Chelsey and I call.

[00:12:34] VOICEOVER: Assess that Kvetch.

[00:12:39] Chelsey Donn: Well Queens, I have a review today from Melrose Mac. It is a Yelp review. Melrose Mac is an apple premier partner and authorized service center. That fixes Mac computers. Um, it is on Melrose. It says it's based in Hollywood. So like Hollywood Melrose and yeah, that's, that's all we really need to know about it.

[00:13:08] Chelsey Donn: It was established in 2003. This review is written by Steph C, who is an elite review. It is a One-Star-Zinger review and it does include lude language, crude language. It's explicit.

[00:13:25] Trey Gerrald: Yes.

[00:13:25] Chelsey Donn: It has explicit language. So if you're a child and you're listening, this would be the time to

[00:13:31] Trey Gerrald: Enjoy your adulthood, cuz it's coming now.

[00:13:34] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. It's happening.

[00:13:36] Chelsey Donn: Here we go. Fuck Melrose,

[00:13:40] Trey Gerrald: Oh,

[00:13:40] Chelsey Donn: fuck apple. While I'm at it. I'm not gonna do anything crazy. Like give up my iPhone or my MacBook, but I will

[00:13:53] Trey Gerrald: the crazy thing. Okay.

[00:13:55] Chelsey Donn: but I will complain on Yelp about some bogus customer service. So take that Steve jobs ghost though. I loved you. I'm crazy. Ex girl.

[00:14:06] Trey Gerrald: Shut

[00:14:08] Chelsey Donn: Matt B and I bought a brand new iMac for my parents, a combination birthday and Christmas gift that cost a pretty $1,700. My dad had been using an unbelievably old desktop and took some time transferring files and enlisting my husband's help in setting up the new computer.

[00:14:32] Chelsey Donn: Like a day after he started it, he got prompted to run a series of software updates. He clicked. Okay. And somehow that totally wrecked his just unboxed iMac.

[00:14:46] Trey Gerrald: what?

[00:14:47] Chelsey Donn: Matt spent about an hour and a half on the phone with Apple's customer service learning that he couldn't exchange the iMac for a new one. We were just outside the return window and that he couldn't even ship it to get it fixed.

[00:15:03] Chelsey Donn: He had to take it into an apple store or affiliated shop. Since he wasn't planning on carrying a 27 inch desktop across the century city mall. Shout out, we made an appointment with Melrose Mac where the risk of dropping this defective fucking brand new machine at our own expense would be lower.

[00:15:28] Chelsey Donn: Melrose. Mac is an apple store with a lowercase S that also does repairs. It's on Melrose next to the moat Plex with easy meter parking. As long as you get in before the parking lane closes at four on weekdays, I wrapped that stupid computer and a fuzzy blanket. My neat freaked dad had thrown away the box in the mistaken belief that a pristine apple computer would work and drove it super carefully to the store.

[00:16:05] Chelsey Donn: I asked if I could get help carrying it inside. And someone on staff did it for me, which was helpful. Most of the people here seem nice enough, but I ended up having a full on passive aggressive fight with the guy who processed my drop off. It was supposed to be quick and easy. We'd already told them the issue over the phone.

[00:16:30] Chelsey Donn: This guy took the computer. Had me fill out paperwork then asked if the hard drive had been backed up. I wasn't sure and said. So my dad is a weirdo who deletes everything and had already gotten rid of the old desktop. And he informed me that we'd be out of pocket for the data recovery. I was already in a bad mood and I commented off the cuff that it seemed perverse to charge us for anything, given that this was a $1,700 machine that broke before anyone could use it, instead of politely saying nothing or, you know, sympathizing in the least, this dude decided to tell me why the policy was reasonable and fair.

[00:17:18] Chelsey Donn: When I pushed back, he dug his heels in. We had a fucking five minute argument about the fucking apple data recovery policy for no fucking reason, except that this it asshole thought I was an idiot and could not let me go uneducated. He was trying to explain the rationale behind the policy as if I didn't understand that there was a rationale.

[00:17:45] Chelsey Donn: I mean, literally every customer service policy is about drawing the line where responsibility shifts between corporation and customer. I know when a policy favors the corporation and don't care if there's a reason for it, the reason is money. He's his money. He told me if someone stole CDs, CDs, Out of his car, the car company, wouldn't be liable.

[00:18:15] Chelsey Donn: I countered that if I drove a brand new car off the lot and someone stole my CDs because there were no locks on it, I would absolutely hold the car company responsible at one point. I asked why he was arguing with me when I was just grumbling about apple Inc. The multi-billion dollar company, he actually said, I'm not arguing.

[00:18:43] Chelsey Donn: I'm having a friendly conversation. Anyway, I went home a week later. Matt asked when the computer would be ready as we hadn't heard a peep since shortly after my appoint.

[00:18:56] Trey Gerrald: I know.

[00:18:57] Chelsey Donn: I emailed to follow up nine days after the drop off and didn't hear back for another three days, it took them 12 days to fix this straight from the apple store.

[00:19:11] Chelsey Donn: iMac at least pick up was easy and the whole thing was free of charge. It's a good thing. We didn't need data recovery because that would've been $150. Unfortunately, I don't trust this computer anymore. And would be hesitant to buy another desktop from apple. I'd certainly like to avoid Melrose Mac in the future for a customer service center.

[00:19:36] Chelsey Donn: It sure is an unpleasant place. Mm-hmm

[00:19:43] Trey Gerrald: what, wait, what was wrong in the process of the father transferring their files to the new Mac? It, it crashed and couldn't work or something. Is that what happened?

[00:19:54] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So it seems like I'm guessing whatever that process was

[00:19:59] Trey Gerrald: The

[00:20:00] Chelsey Donn: it the migration process, because there was so much to migrate over whatever it was. I Donn I'm, I'm like a little confused about that part, but whatever it was, I'm thinking that's the explanation as to why we were outside of the return window.

[00:20:13] Chelsey Donn: and then they got prompted to do some sort of an update. And when the dad said, okay, do the update, it somehow killed the computer, right?

[00:20:23] Trey Gerrald: What is the return window? I'm wondering you have 14 calendar days,

[00:20:29] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Two weeks

[00:20:30] Trey Gerrald: so

[00:20:31] Chelsey Donn: just missed the window. So this you're talking, this is like two weeks in a day. This is 15 days after purchase. They were still under warranty.

[00:20:41] Trey Gerrald: why it was free.

[00:20:42] Chelsey Donn: what do you think about that?

[00:20:44] Trey Gerrald: Well, I'm just, I still, I just don't understand what killed the computer or like why the computer crashed or whatever happened to make them go to Melrose Mack in the first place. But at the end of all of this, it seems like Melrose Mack did it free of charge. And now the computer works.

[00:21:01] Trey Gerrald: So I Donn don't know why.

[00:21:03] Chelsey Donn: think we should be giving Melrose Mac that much credit only because I think that, so something is wrong with the computer. Whoever on the phone at apple, like identified that you're right. There is something wrong. It shouldn't have crashed. Like that's what ha like this has happened to me personally.

[00:21:19] Chelsey Donn: Like you get a new. Computer. Sometimes you get a lemon, right? So it's like, you go through it, you talk to the people on the phone, you do all the troubleshooting and then they're like, you're right. This, this is like not working. You can either go to an apple store or you can go to an apple, apple authorized place to get it fixed and you're still under warranty.

[00:21:37] Chelsey Donn: So I think they did that. I think they were just annoyed. That at that point, we were given this place to go to now, you're trying to charge me $150, which it's not really their fault, but I guess what they're saying is that they were trying to commiserate with. This place being like, isn't it a pain in the ass that I just spent $1,700 on this machine and it's already not working the way it's supposed to, and that they were taking that personally.

[00:22:03] Chelsey Donn: So I don't know. There's a lot of FBOs being thrown all around. Clearly this is annoying, but I can understand the idea of being annoyed that you spent so much money on a machine and then, you know, something went wrong so quickly.

[00:22:18] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I do feel a little bit split here, cuz I agree with Steph on a lot of the points. And then I also would like to challenge stuff on some other points, but I just think that it's hilarious that they're. F this place and F this place, I'm not gonna do anything rash, like getting rid of my iPhone. Like I just thought that was so

[00:22:38] Chelsey Donn: so funny. Yeah, yeah,

[00:22:39] Trey Gerrald: I was like, oh no, is she gonna stuff gonna like threaten violence or something?

[00:22:44] Trey Gerrald: But no something rash is actually like giving up your iPhone.

[00:22:47] Chelsey Donn: Right. That's funny. Yeah. I like that.

[00:22:49] Trey Gerrald: Also CRA

[00:22:51] Chelsey Donn: you watch crazy? Ex-girlfriend.

[00:22:53] Trey Gerrald: I watched the first season, I never finished it.

[00:22:55] Chelsey Donn: was there Steve jobs ghost moment.

[00:22:57] Trey Gerrald: there must be, cuz it's totally a weird show or weird things like that would happen, but that totally places this in a period in time referencing that TV show, I also wrote down poor Matt having to like walk through technology with the father-in-law I guess like I, it occurs to me.

[00:23:15] Trey Gerrald: Steph is so angry and in this back and forth with the Melrose Mac, it person. I understand both sides here. I also recognize like it's not straight from the apple store. You you've been in possession of it for 15 days. So it was. Presumably working until it stopped working. So you can't say you just opened this computer and it's defective.

[00:23:39] Trey Gerrald: Something has occurred. I recognize Apple's point of view here is like, oh, there, it seems like something's wrong. We need to get our hands on it. Which is like, okay. Yeah. I mean, it's like if your television doesn't work, you have to take your television to get repaired. So a little bit of this is like

[00:23:56] Chelsey Donn: I just think the frustration is like, yeah, like I brought this new computer, I just tried to do this quick migration thing. I never even got to use it. I never got to use this thing. That's annoying.

[00:24:07] Trey Gerrald: I hear

[00:24:08] Chelsey Donn: But it is more, I think the question here and what I was questioning as I was reading through this review and trying to figure out if it was shady or useful or whatever, is, is that Melrose Mac's fault?

[00:24:21] Chelsey Donn: I think the only thing Melrose Mac is at fault for is maybe a passive aggressive mansplaining, awkward conversation with this salesperson. I think that is like not cool. but anything that is attributed to Mac itself maybe would be more appropriate on like a trust pilot, apple Complaint page. But at the same time, if you're an authorized user, then do you speak on behalf of the company?

[00:24:51] Chelsey Donn: And like, you're not gonna be the only person that's going to. This location that has a problem with Mac. If that's where they're, they're sending you here, right? Like apple is sending you here. So you are representing apple. You should know how to handle these kind of situations. I would be pissed if I had to pay any money.

[00:25:13] Trey Gerrald: the day, they didn't.

[00:25:15] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. But they were like told that they might have to pay the 150.

[00:25:20] Trey Gerrald: I think what's happening to me is that it looks like Steph came in hot. Steph was already upset

[00:25:26] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:25:26] Trey Gerrald: and I have

[00:25:28] Chelsey Donn: And they say that to their credit. I was already in a bad mood.

[00:25:31] Trey Gerrald: correct. That is correct. I also do know, and this is a stereotype, but sometimes I, it techy people. Are very heady individuals and don't always read interpersonal relationships as acutely as maybe one could want.

[00:25:50] Trey Gerrald: I even myself have felt like, oh, I, I need to like stop this conversation because this is a brainiac person who like, like I'm not gonna win,

[00:25:59] Chelsey Donn: Like that. Yeah. And this is just gonna continue to go on and on and on and on. Right.

[00:26:03] Trey Gerrald: but I do wanna just point out that Steph mentions that they grumbled. Off the cuff, which I don't think was off the cuff, cuz I think Steph was already mad, but they grumbled something which one could argue is passive aggressive, but then paints the it person That's being passive aggressive. I think Steph finally met her match and it was someone that was willing to, um, keep going to get the last word and maybe

[00:26:27] Chelsey Donn: And I think that that's the idea is that like, if you , if you arrive at a place and you're already upset because you already feel like the product failed you, then where is the responsibility of the person on the customer service side to kind of calm you down in that situation? Right? Because the thing about these.

[00:26:49] Chelsey Donn: Emergency Mac places. And I say this all the time when I'm like, whenever I've gone to an apple store or one of these places in like a frenzy, I will say to them like, listen, I understand I'm a lunatic right now. I'm freaking out. I don't have my phone. I don't have my laptop. This is my livelihood, blah, blah, blah.

[00:27:06] Chelsey Donn: I also recognize that you have this conversation 10 million times a day, and everybody that's coming in here is having a panic attack. So I just wanna. Recognize that that being said, like, I'm freaking the fuck out. Right? So

[00:27:20] Trey Gerrald: Well, that's your decor.

[00:27:21] Chelsey Donn: that's my decorum. That's like what I do, cuz I, I also, you know, empathize with someone working customer service and know that you're triaging all day long.

[00:27:32] Chelsey Donn: So I understand that, but I do think that there are different kinds of people that I've encountered in that interaction. I've encountered the people that are like. I totally get it. Believe me, if it was my phone, I would be freaking out too. Or if it was my computer, I would be freaking out too. Let's just get this fixed, even if it was like, just so you know, if there is data that you wanna migrate from here that you're worried about losing, and you're concerned, you know, in the process, it might be lost.

[00:28:00] Chelsey Donn: And you want us to take care of that. There is a charge with that. If you don't wanna pay for that, maybe talk to apple, maybe see if like they will cover it. Like, I just think that there's a way.

[00:28:09] Trey Gerrald: I do too.

[00:28:10] Chelsey Donn: Of having that conversation and you should be trained in having that conversation. If you have that conversation a hundred times a day.

[00:28:19] Trey Gerrald: But, but I think that then becomes the distinction. Do I go to apple or do I go to this mom and pop shop that got a certification to repair apple products? If, if I want the it person to be able to take responsibility and apologize on behalf of the business, I'm gonna go to apple cuz apple directly.

[00:28:45] Chelsey Donn: I guess, but when you call apple and I know this, cuz this happened to me like over COVID and there were a lot of apple stores that were closed. They literally said to me like, basically, do you wanna, like, let's say it was Monday. Do you want an appointment with apple in century city next

[00:29:02] Trey Gerrald: Is dealing with apple, I think. And they

[00:29:03] Chelsey Donn: Right.

[00:29:04] Chelsey Donn: Or do you wanna appointment with apple? 1, 2, 3, fix it tomorrow, right? So like they're recommending these places. So there is a certain responsibility, right? It's kind of like going to one of those independent Verizon stores that are like, we're an independent store. It's like, okay, cool. Like you're in an independent store, but you're still representing Verizon.

[00:29:26] Chelsey Donn: You're still benefiting off of that, you know, connection. And you're taking that on and you're getting customers because of it. So if that's the case, you have to handle it the same way. And if that's not the case and I'm gonna get a lot of people that are not prepared to handle. This kind of customer service.

[00:29:43] Chelsey Donn: Well, then I wanna know, right? So that I can be like, you know what, maybe I'll take that appointment next Thursday at the regular apple store, because I think I'm gonna get a different level of care. And for me, personally, that would be, what I would be looking at from Yelp is like, is this good customer service?

[00:30:01] Trey Gerrald: I don't know why. I just really, I, there was an

[00:30:05] Chelsey Donn: But there was a lot of, of shadiness. I'm not, I'm not taking full blame away from staff.

[00:30:10] Trey Gerrald: No, no, no. I appreciate the conversation. My only real relation here is there was like an apple, uh, certified place in Chelsey that we used to go to. So that's my one experience, but it was never, that was always sort of like a little bit cheaper. Last ditch effort. Or if you can't get an appointment with apple, like it does feel like a subset.

[00:30:32] Trey Gerrald: Like what is the sacrifice then? Cause I do think that ultimately when you're working for the corporation, you're gonna have more checks and balances. I'm also wondering if this it guy was like, I'm not gonna speak ill of apple. And if you, which like I also understand, clearly Steph is intelligent about what the legality of ownership is, which I appreciate them breaking all that down.

[00:30:58] Trey Gerrald: But it is also like, do you wanna get into this conversation with the salesperson or do you just want this whole situation to be over with your dad? Like just leave it. And then we get to the nine days and then the three, like that doesn't make any sense to me that really is dropping the ball. But ultimately I do think at the end of the day they fixed the problem.

[00:31:16] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, I think that the unfortunate thing here, although it was funny and I did enjoy it, even though it was a lot of cursing, it was sort of like, it did have a lot of personality and it was funny to me. So I liked all that, but we do risk. Losing the main message in the weeds, right. Of all that Michigan.

[00:31:35] Chelsey Donn: And I think that the main point, which I will say, and it's not gonna go into this crowning, but I will say is something that was mentioned in other reviews is that the customer service isn't great. Right. That's really like the point that we should have dug our feet into, but because we had so much other animosity towards apple specifically, and them just not giving you a brand new computer, we're muddying that message.

[00:32:04] Chelsey Donn: Right. And so I think in terms of the useful category, while it is very funny, we lose a little bit of points there because. We have to now I, I wanna go and look at other reviews and say, did other people have customer service issues at this location? Or is this just stuff in a bad mood who wouldn't be pleased by anybody?

[00:32:29] Chelsey Donn: And like took somebody that was a little bit nerdy or a little bit, whatever, and took it to the next level while I did enjoy the whole CD's

[00:32:37] Trey Gerrald: Oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean, that

[00:32:38] Chelsey Donn: portion.

[00:32:41] Trey Gerrald: really

[00:32:41] Chelsey Donn: that analogy. I thought that was an interesting analogy. Like, I don't think it is the same to say, like, if someone stole my CDs, I wouldn't say like blame this blame, take it back to the car dealership and be like, someone stole CDs.

[00:32:57] Chelsey Donn: And she was like, well, no, you know, first of all, CDs, you know, I thought was funny, cuz like no one uses CDs anymore. But like also no, like if the locks on your.

[00:33:08] Trey Gerrald: You

[00:33:08] Chelsey Donn: Car didn't work like two weeks after you drove it off the lot. And that was why your, your CDs got stolen then. Yeah, you would go. And I think that, that, you know, that's more accurate,

[00:33:22] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I think really, like, I think you're right. Like I think I got lost in the interaction between the sales associate, but I think what the real grievance is besides the fact that like suddenly this brand new. Nearly $2,000 item stopped working really? Is that like, there was no communication. Then you had to follow up nine days later, then you had to wait three extra days to hear back.

[00:33:48] Trey Gerrald: I wonder if that includes the weekend,

[00:33:50] Chelsey Donn: and, and imagine how stressful that is when

[00:33:55] Trey Gerrald: like, exactly. And this is after the 15 days. So like the father, you know, days are just ticking where the father doesn't have the computer.

[00:34:05] Chelsey Donn: you have

[00:34:05] Trey Gerrald: On top of the fact that it isn't even for you, it's like you're doing this for an, an older person who generally speaking is not gonna be as knowledgeable about this newer product.

[00:34:14] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. It's like, no, truly like no good deed goes unpunished.

[00:34:19] Trey Gerrald: is seeping with anxiety. I get

[00:34:21] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:34:23] Trey Gerrald: I, I do think that I do think that Steph is being truthful. Like I don't, I like don't

[00:34:28] Chelsey Donn: I think that they're like shady, but I think it's like, their personality is a little shady in a way that I think is fun. Like, let's go get drinks and they are an elite reviewer. So, you know, as a store owner, if there's one kind of person you Donn don't wanna piss off, it is an elite reviewer.

[00:34:51] Trey Gerrald: I wonder if this it person I'm assuming is not the same person that helped Steph carry the, the computer in. I'm assuming it's not, cuz I wonder if this is gonna be a typical interaction. I was

[00:35:04] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, like I said, I think you would, based on the fact that we did go a little off the rails, you would then probably follow this up with looking at other reviews and seeing like, does everybody have this kind of customer service experience here? So I Donn don't think it, it like, you know, puts the final kibosh on the customer service at this location.

[00:35:24] Chelsey Donn: I also loved Apple's store with, with a lowercase S.

[00:35:29] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:35:30] Chelsey Donn: I thought that was funny.

[00:35:31] Trey Gerrald: which I think it was like similar to our conversation about like, do you go to

[00:35:35] Chelsey Donn: Do you go to the proper, proper, no. And apple store, or do you go to is an apple store with a lowercase? S

[00:35:43] Trey Gerrald: Spelling is good, right?

[00:35:44] Chelsey Donn: spelling and grammar is good. Lots of fun, little parentheticals throughout you ready to crown. All right, let's do it. Let's crown staff.

[00:35:55] Trey Gerrald: So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair and not influence one another. We will simultaneously reveal our ratings

[00:36:07] VOICEOVER: Queens are Tabulating.

[00:36:14] Trey Gerrald: Tabulating.

[00:36:15] Chelsey Donn: All right. I'm holding up four crowns. Trey is holding up four and a half crowns. All right, Trey, why four and a half crowns for stuff.

[00:36:22] Trey Gerrald: I just thought it was so entertaining. I thought it was so funny. I don't know that I agree with Steph's attack nor approach to life nor actual assessment of the store. I, but it was really entertaining to me and it do, it would make me want to see if other people had to follow up to see like when their item was taken care of.

[00:36:46] Trey Gerrald: I took the half crown off because ultimately girl, they fixed your computer for you and didn't charge

[00:36:51] Chelsey Donn: Sure. Good. Yeah,

[00:36:52] Trey Gerrald: So why are you like swearing them off? You're never gonna deal with them again. Maybe your it person was having a bad day or maybe they thought you were a secret shopper. And so they weren't going to talk

[00:37:02] Chelsey Donn: they thought she was a secret shopper, they should have behaved better though.

[00:37:07] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. So I said four and a half because I think it's really useful. I think it's really funny, but, uh, I don't think that I interact in the world the way that stuff does. And I don't think that everyone's gonna encounter this and hopefully most people aren't gonna have this issue 15 days after a brand new $1,700 computer.

[00:37:27] Trey Gerrald: So why did you say four?

[00:37:28] Chelsey Donn: I went with four for most of the same reasons. I kind of like staff, even though she's a bit, you know, spicy, I'm a fan. I did take off the one crown because I thought we were attributing a lot of negative qualities of apple at large. To this particular store. And that's where I felt like we, we sort of lost the fight a little bit.

[00:37:52] Chelsey Donn: That being said, I would read this review, wanna do a little more research before I go into this store. So there was impact there. It was entertaining and really got high marks on all the other categories. So for that reason, I went with four crowns for Seth.

[00:38:10] Trey Gerrald: Love that I'm so surprised with the free cussing that this is an elite reviewer, but whatever it's working for, staff.

[00:38:17] Chelsey Donn: I guess that Yelp does not discriminate against, you know, language because they understand people are impassioned who are leaving these reviews. Right. Thank

[00:38:28] Trey Gerrald: Well, good job. Fun review.

[00:38:31] Chelsey Donn: you. Thank you. Thank you. All right, Trey. Well, I think we've done it. As hard as it is to believe. And we have reached the most Regal portion of our show.

[00:38:41] Chelsey Donn: Trey, who are you inducting tonight for

[00:38:46] VOICEOVER: My Royal line.

[00:38:47] Trey Gerrald: All right. Very interesting. Well, I actually have a listener's induction, so I got a DM

[00:38:54] Chelsey Donn: love that love that.

[00:38:58] Trey Gerrald: from a listener on Instagram, whose handle is. He who is into and he who is into hi,

[00:39:09] Chelsey Donn: Hi.

[00:39:10] Trey Gerrald: they would like to induct the film. Shaza

[00:39:16] Chelsey Donn: my God. Okay. Continue.

[00:39:18] Trey Gerrald: so wait, what did you just, oh my God. About?

[00:39:20] Chelsey Donn: Cause there's this whole thing about like Shaza versus cousin and there's like, okay, okay. Yeah.

[00:39:29] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So I naturally was like, oh my gosh, Shaq. Oh my gosh. Yes. I can't way to induct this. Like I love that. So then thankfully right before recording, I did a little Google and the results were this nine or this 2019 DC comic character starring Zachary Levi, which is not Shaq. He doesn't look anything like Shaq.

[00:39:54] Trey Gerrald: So then I was like, wait, Didn't I see something about the Bernstein bears and Kaza Shaza and how, what is that thing called? Where we, we MIS

[00:40:09] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yay. Yeah. Oh, the something effect the, the, like the, yes. Yes.

[00:40:17] Trey Gerrald: then I was like, oh, okay. So then I found Kaza, why do we all think it was Shaza?

[00:40:23] Chelsey Donn: Okay. So there's a whole thing with Shaza. I have to find, just give me one, one second, cuz I wanna get this right. Cuz I like actually did a lot of research about this, so I'll be able to talk it, talk about it just one second. Okay. So there is this thing. Yes. It, it goes into this whole effect where. A bunch of kids, like our age in the nineties, remember two movies Shaza which starred Simbad as a genie and Kaza, which star.

[00:40:57] Chelsey Donn: Check. And apparently there's like a whole government conspiracy thing where for whatever reason, this movie was like wiped from all of our memories and we're not allowed to know That's was a real thing. And it's actually like really hard to find it. On the internet. Like, even if you Google Shaza, like you said, you found that other movie, you didn't find this, you find this Shaza movie with Sinbad as a genie reference in a lot of Reddits and subreddits of people who are like, I remember this movie, do you remember this movie?

[00:41:32] Chelsey Donn: They even did. A parody of it, where they kind of recreated it. And so now people are saying, you're remembering this parody. You're not remembering the real thing. And there's a lot of people who feel like we're all being whistle blown, that this was a real thing. In fact, in an interview, ironically, on a podcast, which, you know, I don't always listen a podcast.

[00:41:55] Chelsey Donn: This was a few years ago. Sinbad did say. There was in fact, a movie called Chiam that he started, that he was told by the government or something that like was gonna be wiped and then kind of backpedaled and said, that was a joke. I Donn Donn. It's like a whole thing. Trey, the idea, I guess, beyond like why would the government wipe our memories of this movie?

[00:42:19] Chelsey Donn: Shaza is it's become more of this generalized conversation of. If this then what? Right. So like if the government is capable of erasing our memories of particular events, and this movie happens to fall within whatever this thing is that needed to be erased by from, from all of us. What else are they hiding?

[00:42:43] Chelsey Donn: And people are passionate. Like if you wanna have fun, get on Reddit and look up Shazam or Google Shaza, but Google Shaza Sinbad specifically and, and have fun with that.

[00:42:56] Trey Gerrald: Okay, this is like

[00:42:58] Chelsey Donn: did this person that wrote in, who was giving this nomination? Did they give any other detail? They were just like, I wanna nominate Shaza.

[00:43:04] Trey Gerrald: they said, S H a Z a M exclamation mark, which is the title of the 2019 movie with Zachary Levi. So he who is into, on Instagram. Did you mean Sinbad? Did you mean Zachary Levi? Did you mean Shaq to help? Because we're trying

[00:43:22] Chelsey Donn: Right. Did you mean Kaza,

[00:43:24] Trey Gerrald: Did you mean this whole conspiracy theory, which is much darker than we usually talk about on our

[00:43:28] Chelsey Donn: right?

[00:43:29] Trey Gerrald: I hope that it's a conspiracy theory and it's not systematic racism and people are just thinking That's Sinbad and Shaq are the same

[00:43:35] Chelsey Donn: Some people said that like, some people that's the mandala effect or whatever it is that like our, like we remember Sinbad was in like a bunch of popular movies was like kind of popular during the same time period that Kaza was popular and that our minds like put those two things together. It is very weird.

[00:43:54] Chelsey Donn: Like I do feel like I vaguely remember Simbad playing a genie, but that's the whole joke is that he's like, I've never played a genie before.

[00:44:02] Trey Gerrald: Well, I mean, the minute you said Sinbad, I was like, so what is that about? But I don't remember Kaza. I don't remember the title Kaza. Why, why would I naturally think that that word Kaza is Shaza they're two different words. I don't know.

[00:44:21] Chelsey Donn: I don't know. We all do it.

[00:44:22] Trey Gerrald: Well, for that reason, I am inducting Shazaam

[00:44:29] Chelsey Donn: I.

[00:44:30] Trey Gerrald: on behalf of our listener at he who is into so mazeltov.

[00:44:37] Chelsey Donn: I hope at who he is into we'll call up when E five zero review zero and clarify for us because I gotta know

[00:44:46] Trey Gerrald: Yes. And please the floodgates are opened. If you know anything

[00:44:51] Chelsey Donn: If you have any information.

[00:44:53] Trey Gerrald: if this is interesting to you, our listeners, if you have any news, please DMS, but we would prefer you calling in so that we can play you. We can do as we have in previous episodes, disguise your voice with the technology available so that no one can recognize your voice.

[00:45:09] Trey Gerrald: If you don't want to be found out at your place of employment, please, please call in. Otherwise, yay. Shazam. Go and enjoy that. 2019 Marvel, DC, whatever movie.

[00:45:21] Chelsey Donn: Donn Donn. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, sure.

[00:45:23] Trey Gerrald: There you go. Royal Highness.

[00:45:24] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:45:26] Trey Gerrald: Wow. That took a really interesting turn. And

[00:45:28] Chelsey Donn: one of the weirder nominations. I know only cuz I really like went deep into a rabbit hole with this.

[00:45:35] Trey Gerrald: you knew so much. Well, all right. We'll, we'll talk more on the after show about that. And other news we've done it. We've reached the end of today's proper episode. That's another round on the R U and RQ Sinbad, proper P show.

[00:45:49] Chelsey Donn: Did the episode really exist though? Or was it a figment of our imagination?

[00:45:53] Trey Gerrald: I think it did. But then Melrose Mac lost our data. It's a ghost from crazy's

[00:45:57] Chelsey Donn: you're right. And it's a never even existed. It's a ghost. Exactly. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, share the show with a friend, please.

[00:46:09] Trey Gerrald: And if you didn't like what you heard, please share the show

[00:46:13] Chelsey Donn: If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit Review That Review dot com slash donate where even a dollar tip is much appreciated. Thank you for those tips coming in. I can't tell you how much it means and how much it brightens both Trey and my day when we see that tip coming in. So thank you.

[00:46:32] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. Thank you. And if you'd like to give us a tip, go over Review That Review dot com slash donate.

[00:46:38] Trey Gerrald: For free, you could join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com so that you stay up to date with all of the goings on and the Queen and I am at

[00:46:44] Chelsey Donn: Hit up our voice mailbox. 1 8 50 review zero. You can follow us on all the socials at the review Queens. I'm at ChelseyBD.

[00:46:56] Trey Gerrald: Trey Shaza. Nope. Trey Gerrald.

[00:47:00] Trey Gerrald: On today's after show pod, Chelsey, and I are going to be rating and reviewing a One-Star-Zinger Amazon review for the Solan professional, portable folding massage table

[00:47:13] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay. I like that. Uh,

[00:47:16] Trey Gerrald: and, uh, just so you know, the subject is not sturdy. So to find out what made Chelsey say.

[00:47:23] Chelsey Donn: my baloney has a first name. It's O S C a R. And find out what made Trey Trey say.

[00:47:31] Trey Gerrald: I hope the government doesn't erase this podcast. I spend so many hours every week editing this podcast. Please don't erase it from people's memories.

[00:47:38] Chelsey Donn: Then join our Patreon page at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly members only after show companion podcast, ignore the haters and the sh Sam ignores. You're a Queen. Yes,

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[00:48:22] Trey Gerrald: But the thing about the Bernstein bears is that

[00:48:24] Chelsey Donn: It's Bernstein Bernstein. Right? We all thought it was Bernstein. What like the Jewish last name Bernstein, and then it became Bernstein, but then they were saying that some place, right? No, it makes sense. But I think some places, it still said Bernstein. I Donn don't know. I Donn don't trust anything anymore.

[00:48:44] Chelsey Donn: You guys. Did you ever try that game on Instagram or whatever, where you have to like ch you like dip your head in the direction of what you think is like the right target thing.

[00:48:56] Trey Gerrald: No, but we're gonna do that on the after show. Bye.



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