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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 64: "Yelp Elite - 1 vs 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 64: "Yelp Elite: 1 vs 5 Stars "


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello. Oh,

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hi. Hi. Hi and hello. Hello. Hello to all of you listeners out there and welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to.

[00:00:42] Chelsey Donn: reviews were just like Cisco Neber. If you know who those two people are only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: If you don't know who Cisco and Abra are, then we're just like Lelo and stitch. I think I've never seen it anyway. That voice is Chelsey Donn,

[00:01:06] Chelsey Donn: And that voice is Trey Gerrald

[00:01:08] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.

[00:01:10] VOICEOVER: The review Queens.

[00:01:14] Trey Gerrald: And a special hello? Hello. Hi. Hi. Hey. Hey. Hey to all of our members on our Patreon.

[00:01:21] Chelsey Donn: hi Queens,

[00:01:22] Trey Gerrald: Hi Queens. To join that fun and access additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly members. Only after show companion podcast plus videos. You can watch me waving right now, as I'm saying this merch discounts and a whole lot more.

[00:01:36] Trey Gerrald: Visit our Patreon over on Patreon dot com slash Review That Review.

[00:01:41] Chelsey Donn: or if like new websites scare you, you could also just go to Review That Review dot com and click the Patreon button. Or you can click in the notes below there's lots of options.

[00:01:54] Trey Gerrald: Lots of clicking options. Speaking up Chelsey. How's your week going?

[00:01:58] Chelsey Donn: my week is clicking along Trey.

[00:02:01] Trey Gerrald: Click cl

[00:02:02] Chelsey Donn: You know, I was traveling Trey and I got to see each other in person and do a photo shoot, which was super, super fun.

[00:02:09] Chelsey Donn: And we can't wait to share all those photos with you, but the traveling bit of it, I mean, I almost feel like I need to launch right into my Complaint.

[00:02:19] Trey Gerrald: let's do it. Chelsey. Do you need to

[00:02:21] VOICEOVER: Lodge Complaint.

[00:02:22] Chelsey Donn: do. I don't think I can wait a moment longer. So I was flying out to Newark. There were thunderstorms, we got delayed in the air. Okay. 13 hours, 13 to 14 hours of being on the plane, which, which should not have been more than like five and a half, six tops. Okay. So there's that. But then like 12 of those hours were in the air and I feel like it's excruciating to be on the ground and stuck on a plane, but there's something really terrible about circling in the air.

[00:02:54] Chelsey Donn: It's very like nausea, inducting. So anyway, we land and we're waiting for another hour, of course, to like get to our gate. The woman in the row next to me on the left side had like a baby with her. The baby was like mostly fine the entire time. And then she decided that after flying for, you know, almost 14 hours, what everybody on the plane would want would be for her to play baby shark.

[00:03:24] Trey Gerrald: oh,

[00:03:25] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Now the Complaint is about baby shark. That all was a little bit of like a lead up. Everybody knows I'm not gonna sing the song, cuz I don't wanna ruin your day. I'm just gonna say baby shark. But at this point, everybody knows that is mental warfare. Okay. You say that to someone you're gonna ruin the rest of their day.

[00:03:48] Chelsey Donn: So like my day was already ruined. I didn't need the additional topping of baby shark. I, I mean what a move truly what? A move. Maybe they were desperate. You think they were desperate at that point? Cuz of the baby.

[00:04:02] Trey Gerrald: two points here. Yes. I haven't had to circle for that long, you know, Kena Hora, but there is something maddening when you can see the little map on the like info met

[00:04:13] Chelsey Donn: you're not moving.

[00:04:15] Trey Gerrald: wow, we're just like literally looping. There's something really scary to

[00:04:19] Chelsey Donn: it is, yeah, it was creepy.

[00:04:21] Trey Gerrald: I'm trapped, I'm a prisoner and we're in the air and it's like, I, I have no control.

[00:04:26] Trey Gerrald: It's.

[00:04:26] Chelsey Donn: And eventually we will run on the fuel, which we did.

[00:04:30] Trey Gerrald: And then baby shark. Yes. There's something about that tune that is so maddening.

[00:04:36] Chelsey Donn: maddening. Maddening.

[00:04:37] Trey Gerrald: with my nephews, like I'm very aware of like, I don't wanna start it because I'm never gonna end it because it's just gonna be lodged in my head for the rest of eternity day.

[00:04:48] Chelsey Donn: It's the new, like, this is the song that never ends. Right. But that's my Complaint. What's going on in your life.

[00:04:56] Trey Gerrald: All right, I'm gonna do it. I have sat on this Complaint for a very long time and I'm going to be vulnerable and I'm going to really open up something that is a constant conversation in my mind. So you listeners, if you've been listening for a while, you might, um, have heard me fibbing at times in my life on this podcast.

[00:05:22] Trey Gerrald: And you might also like try to track something and get a little bit confused. So I'm gonna go ahead and Lodge this Complaint. I need to Lodge a Complaint against this cultural co-sign that we all have, that it's funny to hate on the state of New Jersey. Cause I am gonna Lodge a Complaint here because during the pandemic.

[00:05:49] Chelsey Donn: yeah.

[00:05:50] Trey Gerrald: and I moved out of New York city and we actually reside in the state of New Jersey and comedy aside. I have, have always felt a little sense of feelings about declaring that I live in New Jersey, because it's so easy to make a joke about New Jersey David and I have an ongoing counter, like a clicker whenever we see a Broadway musical, honestly, there's at least one joke at new Jersey's expense in every single musical.

[00:06:19] Trey Gerrald: I don't know why that is, but it's like, we all agree that like we can make a joke about New Jersey and what that means in my life. And here I am with the Complaint is that. Lie. I don't say that I live in New Jersey. I say I live in New York and this came up for Chelsey and I, when we went to that convention months ago and people would ask where we lived and Chelsey is in Los Angeles.

[00:06:42] Trey Gerrald: And I would say that I was still in Manhattan because it felt like we were on the two coasts. And so as I'm like evolving and I'm starting to recognize, I'm putting a lot of that into the space. I feel like there is a character assessment or a character assassination that's gonna. Said or thought when I say I am from New Jersey, because people in New York love to make a response.

[00:07:08] Trey Gerrald: When you say anything about New Jersey, it's like, it's like an automatic reflex. When you say the state of New Jersey. Oh, I feel sorry for you. There's like always, it's a loaded contribution to any conversation. And I'm interested to bring this up with you, Chelsey, cuz you were from the state of New Jersey originally.

[00:07:26] Trey Gerrald: So I'm curious how you feel in this conversation, but I'm lodging a Complaint that I have been weighing very close to my heart comedy side. Now comedy back. My Complaint today is this hate on New Jersey. Why is there New Jersey shame and why is there New Jersey hate? And I'm gonna declare from this episode forward, I'm gonna be honest and transparent that I live in the state of New Jersey after living in New York.

[00:07:52] Trey Gerrald: 12 years, but I don't even need to say that, cuz I say that as a sense of pride, that is irrelevant. It doesn't matter. So I live in New Jersey Chelsey. What are your thoughts on this cultural agreement to make fun of New Jersey?

[00:08:04] Chelsey Donn: So many thoughts are going through my mind. First thought is like, welcome. Like you're like a baby in the world. It makes me actually feel like seen that you are acknowledging this, cuz you've only lived in New Jersey for how.

[00:08:19] Trey Gerrald: Like a little more than a year

[00:08:20] Chelsey Donn: right. And I've lived in New Jersey for my I for my entire childhood.

[00:08:24] Chelsey Donn: And I'm from there. And I had a similar lie that I would tell all the time, which is, I always tell people that I'm from Philly, but then I did go to middle school and high school in Philly. And I was constantly attacked by the people that lived in like the Philadelphia suburbs. Like there were people that would live on the main line or wherever, and they would literally be further away from our high school than I was, but it was okay for them to say that they were from Philly.

[00:08:57] Chelsey Donn: Cuz they're technically like still in the state of Pennsylvania. They're allowed to say that. But people would, when they would find out that I lived in Jersey and I was in cherry hill, they would be like, you don't live in Philly. You're in Jersey. Like it was a whole thing. Jersey is the armpit of America.