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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 72: "Starbucks 1 vs. 5 Stars"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 72: "Starbucks 1 vs. 5 Stars"

Transcription


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!



[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello,

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello and welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:39] Chelsey Donn: reviews were just like Cisco Neibert only. Instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews,

[00:00:51] Trey Gerrald: that is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:53] Chelsey Donn: and that is Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: And together we are.

[00:00:58] VOICEOVER: The review Queens.

[00:01:02] Chelsey Donn: Cheerio

[00:01:04] Trey Gerrald: to all of our members over on Patreon. They have exclusive access to tons of bonuses, including our companion After show podcast, which celebrates one year today.

[00:01:17] Chelsey Donn: Yay.

[00:01:18] Trey Gerrald: about that. If you're not a Patreon member, you are missing one year's worth of exclusive, extra reviews and content. So if you haven't checked it out, go to our homepage, Review That Review dot com.

[00:01:31] Trey Gerrald: Click on the word Patreon, or if you would like to support our show in a different way, you can visit Review That Review dot com slash donate. Well, hello Chelsey Goose. How are ya?

[00:01:42] Chelsey Donn: I'm good. If you're watching this and not listening, you'll see that I, I have these lights cuz I wanted to be fancy like Trey and I didn't even put my glasses on when we first started recording cuz I was like fully blind. I stared right into the light,

[00:01:56] Trey Gerrald: Oh,

[00:01:56] Chelsey Donn: bad I.

[00:01:57] Trey Gerrald: I know it well.

[00:01:58] Chelsey Donn: And I didn't, I couldn't even see anything until a second ago, so I'm better now that I can see.

[00:02:03] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, these are, what are they? Like 60 wat? L e d lights. So

[00:02:07] Chelsey Donn: very, very bright.

[00:02:08] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. They're exceedingly bright in your eyeballs.

[00:02:11] Chelsey Donn: I don't know how good that is. I mean, I don't think it's as bad as like looking into a solar eclipse, but it can't be great, you know?

[00:02:17] Trey Gerrald: can't be good for, oh my god, Solar eclipses. Remember those glasses they make like out of cardboard or whatever?

[00:02:22] Chelsey Donn: I, Yeah. I don't even know what peop people were like making them from home and looking right in the sun. I gotta be honest, I didn't really look.

[00:02:30] Chelsey Donn: Did you

[00:02:32] Trey Gerrald: No, I didn't look. No. Me.

[00:02:35] Chelsey Donn: do you remember when that was? Like the hot topic, Like that was what we were talking about. That was all pre covid and we didn't even know

[00:02:42] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God. We had no idea what was to come. ChelseyBD, did you get any interesting things on your doorstep? This.

[00:02:50] Chelsey Donn: I did. I got a package, a mysterious package in the mail.

[00:02:55] Trey Gerrald: Oh,

[00:02:56] Chelsey Donn: I think it said like from my fabulous gay cohost, and I was instructed that I was not allowed to open it, which was very tempting. It's, it's quite heavy. I have no idea what it is. It's in a bag.

[00:03:11] Trey Gerrald: Yes. I paid for like the 3 99 gift wrapping.

[00:03:15] Chelsey Donn: Yes. What is it?

[00:03:16] Trey Gerrald: So I sent Chelsey a gift from Amazon. Yeah. What does it say?

[00:03:20] Chelsey Donn: says, Do not open till podcasting with the most adorable, gorgeous, stunning, handsome, wonderful and gay co-host from Trey Gerrald, just in case I didn't like from the clues leading up, just in case I didn't know. I like that. That you said from Trey Gerrald as well.

[00:03:37] Trey Gerrald: Wait, I think that was like auto, like I didn't type from Trey. Gerrald. I think that was like from Trey. Gerrald. Well, Chelsey, so you said it's heavy. Do you have any guesses what could be in there?

[00:03:51] Chelsey Donn: It feels like.

[00:03:54] Trey Gerrald: It's not breakable. If you wanna give it a shake,

[00:03:58] Chelsey Donn: okay. It feels like a bag of beans. Kind of like, like

[00:04:03] Trey Gerrald: bag of beans.

[00:04:04] Chelsey Donn: That's what it feels like. It feels like, you know when you go to the, the farmer's market and they have those like fancy bag of beans that are like the kind that you like soak and bother. If you're like, I Donn know, Trey's not gonna know any of this cuz he doesn't cook at all.

[00:04:18] Chelsey Donn: But instead of buying beans and a can, you can buy like raw beans that you soak yourself and that's like kind of what it feels like. It's quite heavy. A lot of little tiny beads like beads or beans. I don't know. That's my guess. It's heavy

[00:04:33] Trey Gerrald: All right, well, why don't you open at.

[00:04:35] Chelsey Donn: Oh my goodness. Okay. This is so exciting. Am I right? Is it beans?

[00:04:43] Chelsey Donn: Why would you send me beans? Ooh. It's wrapped inside. It has this special. Oh it, wait a minute. Oh my goodness. It's a lot of candy. It's beans. It's jelly beans. Oh my

[00:05:01] Trey Gerrald: I was like, Okay, wait, so hold on before you go into detail. I have it for myself as well. So this is a variety, bro, jelly bean pack. But today, can you guess which one we're gonna discuss? There's four flavors. Don't list them all cuz we're gonna do this on upcoming episodes, but there is

[00:05:21] Chelsey Donn: Well, the first one that I'm seeing, which I imagine is the one that we're gonna discuss cuz it's like somewhat on theme, is Dunking Donuts, jelly beans. Stop. I can't,

[00:05:34] Trey Gerrald: So this is the Duncan. It actually doesn't even say Donn. It just says Duncan Ice coffee flavor, jelly beans.

[00:05:41] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.

[00:05:43] Trey Gerrald: So this has five different flavors. Of iced coffee. So the first is toasted coconut butter, pecan caramel latte hazelnut and french vanilla.

[00:05:56] Chelsey Donn: Who knew that this existed? How did you even find this?

[00:06:00] Trey Gerrald: Well, I feel like a couple of episodes ago we started talking about how wild flavors were at Dunkin Donuts. Didn't we have a conversation about this?

[00:06:08] Chelsey Donn: Well, I think we were talking about how like sweet, all the drinks were maybe like how it's like coffee and quotations because it's like coffee, but then it's like, so, so sweet.

[00:06:19] Trey Gerrald: yes. And then I was listening to my favorite murder and they bought each other bro's, like Turkey dinner and they tasted them on the show and I was like, Oh, this is so funny. I have to do this with ChelseyBD. So.

[00:06:33] Chelsey Donn: a live review.

[00:06:34] Trey Gerrald: So let's pop open and let's see, like do you see on the front where it tells you like the code?

[00:06:42] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:06:42] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. So are we gonna try, should we try the same one at the same time?

[00:06:47] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:06:48] Chelsey Donn: just gonna dump a little out on my, my desk.

[00:06:51] Trey Gerrald: Which one did you pull? I pulled an orange.

[00:06:54] Chelsey Donn: I have an orange. Should we try that one?

[00:06:56] Trey Gerrald: Yeah,

[00:06:57] Chelsey Donn: is the caramel latte. That sounds kind of weird for a jelly baba, let's say. Smells sweet. Mm. It's really giving me harm. Latte vibes.

[00:07:11] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I really taste the caramel.

[00:07:12] Chelsey Donn: Oh wow. That's strong. It kind of reminds me of like, not like the worders candy, but it has like that like Right.

[00:07:21] Trey Gerrald: the caramel. But there's also like, I feel like the after taste is a little coffee.

[00:07:25] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. It ends, It's like one of those worders with like, I'm sure they make a worders with coffee.

[00:07:32] Trey Gerrald: I thought it would be gross,

[00:07:34] Chelsey Donn: I did too, but it wasn't bad. It's like not something I'd want to eat a lot of in terms of like hitting the mark on giving me caramel latte. I think it's like a four outta five.

[00:07:44] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I think so too.

[00:07:46] Chelsey Donn: Do you have a French vanilla handy?

[00:07:48] Trey Gerrald: French vanilla is like

[00:07:50] Chelsey Donn: one.

[00:07:51] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, let's do

[00:07:52] Chelsey Donn: I don't smell anything. Doesn't have a very strong taste.

[00:07:58] Trey Gerrald: No,

[00:07:58] Chelsey Donn: tell if it's the caramel one was just like a punch in the face, but I'm not tasting vanilla at

[00:08:04] Trey Gerrald: It kind of just feels like jelly. Bam.

[00:08:08] Chelsey Donn: Jelly

[00:08:08] Trey Gerrald: But it's not gross. I thought it, I thought this would all be nasty.

[00:08:11] Chelsey Donn: it just, it was like very sweet. I just tasted sweetness. I didn't taste vanilla.

[00:08:16] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. If I tasted any vanilla was at the back end. Like I'm gonna give, I'm gonna give it like one out of five.

[00:08:22] Chelsey Donn: I think one,

[00:08:23] Trey Gerrald: Let's do the um,

[00:08:24] Chelsey Donn: Is this hazelnut?

[00:08:26] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, it's at the light brown peach kind of. Let's try Hazel it. Oh,

[00:08:34] Chelsey Donn: that's a lot of flavor. I don't like that as a jelly beam.

[00:08:39] Trey Gerrald: this one I think is so disgusting.

[00:08:41] Chelsey Donn: Oh, gross. Zero.

[00:08:43] Trey Gerrald: for them to get gross. This is. I probably would pick these out of the bag and not eat these.

[00:08:49] Chelsey Donn: Um, hazelnut as a jelly beam is not a good

[00:08:52] Trey Gerrald: The caramel latte is much better. Taste. I'm This is a zero. Uhuh. He isn't a zero.

[00:08:57] Chelsey Donn: All right. Zero out of five for

[00:08:59] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Yuck. Disgusting.

[00:09:00] Chelsey Donn: gross experience. Like I was worried that they were all gonna be like the hazelnut cuz it just doesn't feel like it should be a jelly. Be

[00:09:06] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Okay. We have two left. We have toasted coconut and butter Pecan.

[00:09:13] Chelsey Donn: I feel like toast to coconut's gonna be better in my mind. I think butter can, Let's get that out of the way.

[00:09:19] Trey Gerrald: Butter pecan. Here we go.

[00:09:24] Chelsey Donn: Ew.

[00:09:25] Trey Gerrald: That's. Really sweet.

[00:09:26] Chelsey Donn: Oh, it's like, ew. Oh, it's the butter at the end. I don't taste any pecan. Ew. It's all butter. Ugh.

[00:09:36] Trey Gerrald: It is.

[00:09:36] Chelsey Donn: Butter and sugar.

[00:09:38] Trey Gerrald: I'm not into this one. It isn't as offensive as hands and it was to me, but I think this is a one out of.

[00:09:44] Chelsey Donn: I think that's still a zero out of five for me. That was bad so far. I'm liking the, which one? The caramel, I guess was the least offensive so far.

[00:09:52] Trey Gerrald: yeah.

[00:09:53] Chelsey Donn: All right. The final, the final jelly bean

[00:09:56] Trey Gerrald: Toasted coconut

[00:09:58] Chelsey Donn: I need another pallet cleanser or toasted coconut. I have high hopes for you. I'm getting nothing. Okay. At the end.

[00:10:10] Trey Gerrald: I mean,

[00:10:11] Chelsey Donn: It's not offensive.

[00:10:13] Trey Gerrald: but it's also not pleasurable.

[00:10:15] Chelsey Donn: It's all pleasurable. I taste a little bit more coffee in that one.

[00:10:21] Trey Gerrald: I don't like it.

[00:10:22] Chelsey Donn: I don't like it. I'll give it a one cuz it it,

[00:10:26] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I would give it a one.

[00:10:27] Chelsey Donn: cause it's not like a huge turnoff.

[00:10:30] Trey Gerrald: That's so weird.

[00:10:32] Chelsey Donn: I almost wanna go back in for a caramel and see if I

[00:10:34] Trey Gerrald: I know. I'm

[00:10:35] Chelsey Donn: we give that one? We, we gave that,

[00:10:36] Trey Gerrald: caramel. We gave it a five, right?

[00:10:39] Chelsey Donn: No, no. A three. I think

[00:10:40] Trey Gerrald: I didn't even remember. It's still good.

[00:10:46] Chelsey Donn: it's better.

[00:10:47] Trey Gerrald: I think it's because it's like more traditional flavor for a jelly beam.

[00:10:51] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Like it tastes like, I don't really like them, but it kind of tastes like a, um, you know, those candies that people either love or hate for Halloween. The candy corn.

[00:11:00] Trey Gerrald: Yes. I love candy corn.

[00:11:02] Chelsey Donn: Right. It's given me like candy, corn vibes.

[00:11:06] Trey Gerrald: It's interesting. So like the nutritional facts, it's 20 jelly beans are 110 calories.

[00:11:13] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.

[00:11:14] Trey Gerrald: just like so bad. Uh,

[00:11:16] Chelsey Donn: just, I'm not even worried about the calories. It's the sugar. How much sugar isn't at

[00:11:20] Trey Gerrald: um, 21 grams.

[00:11:23] Chelsey Donn: It's like over a gram of sugar per jelly. Ew.

[00:11:29] Trey Gerrald: So 42%

[00:11:32] Chelsey Donn: No, that's 42% of your daily value. and even the daily value is like that's higher than it. Okay. This is, listen, it's jelly beans. We know that it's sugar. That was fun.

[00:11:45] Trey Gerrald: That was fun. I thought it would be more traumatizing. Honestly. I thought they would all be horrible and disgusting.

[00:11:50] Chelsey Donn: They weren't all horrible and disgusting. It's a lot of sugar. I wonder who I'm gonna gift these to. I

[00:11:58] Trey Gerrald: Did you like as a Jewish person, did you ever have like jelly beans? I just think of them so much

[00:12:03] Chelsey Donn: I Donn. I know that they are sort of an Easter candy, but like for sure the only jelly beans that I really like are the sour ones. I'm a big fan of the sour,

[00:12:13] Trey Gerrald: I like sour candy. I definitely like sour candy. Wait, so, okay. So do you have anything that you wanna complain about Chelsey? Should we go into a

[00:12:21] VOICEOVER: Lodge Complaint.

[00:12:23] Trey Gerrald: moment?

[00:12:24] Chelsey Donn: Other than the flavor of that, whatever that was that I just consumed. Thank you for the present, my beautiful cohost.

[00:12:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, we have three more bags so we can continue to

[00:12:34] Chelsey Donn: We'll continue this tradition. As the weeks go on, my Complaint at this very moment is with Apple and the iPhones, and the fact that as soon as a new iPhone comes out, you decide that my iPhone needs to expire.

[00:12:49] Chelsey Donn: Why is this? It's really not. Right? This is such like expensive device, and I, I do pay the, like, monthly because I think of it similar to like leasing a car where it's like, well, why would I, you know, pay out of pocket for this item when it's just gonna like go outta style and there's gonna be a new model and a new whatever coming out.

[00:13:11] Chelsey Donn: I might as well just like lease it and then roll over into a new lease, which I do, but still, like, there's so many issues involved and it's just not right, because a new iPhone comes out, what, like every year,

[00:13:22] Trey Gerrald: year they have a new update.

[00:13:24] Chelsey Donn: right? So like as expensive a device as this is, this should last many, many, many, many years I have right now.

[00:13:34] Chelsey Donn: I think it's an 11. Do you

[00:13:36] Trey Gerrald: I, Me too. An 11 promax.

[00:13:39] Chelsey Donn: I have an 11 promax and I like am pretty religious about the updates and that's it. The phone is like deceased. It just starts being like super glitchy. Lots of problems with the camera, like turning on and off. App's not loading properly, like just my phone just doesn't wanna work right now.

[00:13:59] Chelsey Donn: I think I'll just be frozen for a long time. Like, why? Why does this happen every like three years?

[00:14:06] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. You would think they would be more diligent about this not occurring when a new one is is rolled out. Because Apple did get in trouble for like

[00:14:14] Chelsey Donn: like make them combust.

[00:14:16] Trey Gerrald: they did. I think when they acknowledged it, they were saying that they would no longer do it.

[00:14:21] Chelsey Donn: Mm, Bullshit.

[00:14:23] Trey Gerrald: you, But ironically, I did just get the 14. I'm getting it tomorrow.

[00:14:28] Chelsey Donn: Did you order it online? Cuz I don't even know how I'm gonna go about doing this. Like I'm

[00:14:31] Trey Gerrald: You're keep going.

[00:14:33] Chelsey Donn: I'm Verizon. What was that?

[00:14:35] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, that was the question. Well, cuz I ordered online through at and t and they have a $1,000 rebate, so my new charge is literally $5 a month

[00:14:48] Chelsey Donn: what

[00:14:49] Trey Gerrald: because I'm going from an 11. So look on Verizon.

[00:14:52] Chelsey Donn: To see if I have a rebate. Okay. Lodging a Complaint apple. Do better. Like have your updates be applicable to like the last, however many phones. Don't make it like make my phone not work.

[00:15:05] Trey Gerrald: Well I would also offer here that we both have iPhones 11 and they just came out with 14. So if we're just now starting to notice

[00:15:14] Chelsey Donn: that's the problem is like, I think I got the 11 shortly before the 12 came out. You know what I mean? Like I was on the

[00:15:21] Trey Gerrald: I did too. Me too.

[00:15:22] Chelsey Donn: is even more annoying cuz you're like, well then it's not that old. Like it's basically a 12. It's like an 11th. 11th hour 11.

[00:15:30] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm.

[00:15:32] Chelsey Donn: You know?

[00:15:33] Trey Gerrald: Yes. Well, I've been doing lots of research on this new iPhone 14. If you are an Android person, call in and let us know your thoughts.

[00:15:40] Chelsey Donn: Oh, I'm sure you have lot. I have a few friends that are very, very passionate about not going to iPhone. So here's your moment to feel validated. All right. That's my Complaint. What about you, Trey? Do you have a Complaint?

[00:15:51] Trey Gerrald: I have a Complaint, This is not specific to Netflix, it's specific to all of these sort of streaming services that have the search feature. I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but let's say for example, I'm wanting to watch the Hollywood Classic Show Girls starring Elizabeth

[00:16:10] Chelsey Donn: for example.

[00:16:12] Trey Gerrald: for example. So if I'm like, I don't know what service has it,

[00:16:18] Chelsey Donn: Mm-hmm.

[00:16:19] Trey Gerrald: open on Netflix, so let me start typing in on the Netflix search show Girls, and it comes up as an auto complete. Like other people have searched it, like I can just go to the right and click on it and then they don't have it.

[00:16:34] Chelsey Donn: Donn. Oh

[00:16:35] Trey Gerrald: This also happens on Amazon Prime.

[00:16:37] Trey Gerrald: Let's say I'm typing in the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime, which is a play, not a movie, but if I was typing in something that outrageously long, I'm typing it in, I see it, but it's there. I click on it. They don't have it. Why? Why do they auto complete the titles if they don't exist in the library?

[00:16:55] Trey Gerrald: You're wasting my time.

[00:16:57] Chelsey Donn: Oh, try

[00:16:58] Trey Gerrald: Have you experienced that?

[00:16:59] Chelsey Donn: your complaints always just really ri me up and get another Complaint going, but I gotta say, It's been ridiculous the rate at which this has been happening lately. Beyond that, I don't know if you've been noticing this, so let's say you type in showgirl into Hulu. It's there. Oh, how exciting.

[00:17:19] Chelsey Donn: Oh, guess what? You have to pay an extra fee to get the premium. Premium. Premium. If you have the premium, premium premium, then you can watch it. If you only have the premium premium, then you can't! I, How many times have I paid an upcharge? I keep paying these freaking upcharges. Every time I go on there, they're like, Oh, don't get this thing anymore.

[00:17:38] Chelsey Donn: Gotta pay for this. And I just pay for it. And then I go on and then the next time it's like, Gotta pay for this. What am I paying for?

[00:17:45] Trey Gerrald: specifically is guilty of that cuz they have so many different like subscription services for like FX or whatever the crap.

[00:17:55] Chelsey Donn: We used to have all these problems with the cable companies. Now I'm getting really angry at these streaming services, cuz I feel like they're double, triple dipping.

[00:18:03] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Well what is also frustrating to me in the same conversation of triple dipping, because I feel like the rate at which certain titles have a contract with a certain streamer. They go away after a certain amount of time, but they don't erase it from the search library. So you start to type in show and you see girls and you click on it and they no longer have the contract with the movie, so it's not there.

[00:18:25] Trey Gerrald: So I've wasted all this time instead of just erasing it from the library since you took it out of your library and I can't watch it here now, I've

[00:18:32] Chelsey Donn: Or there should just be a centralized location where you can put in showgirls and they could be like, Boo boo, boo boo. These are the four places where you can watch it. Boo boo. These are the two that you're already paying for.

[00:18:44] Trey Gerrald: Well, right, well, that is a Google and then B, that is an app you suggested in a previous episode for Shark Tank. Yeah.

[00:18:51] Chelsey Donn: Sorry.

[00:18:52] Trey Gerrald: Well, I really hate it and it happens to me all the time, and I clocked it the other night and was like, Oh, I have to complain about this on the show, because don't list it as an option if it isn't actually an option.

[00:19:02] Trey Gerrald: Pretend that you don't know the word. Rude.

[00:19:05] Chelsey Donn: Rude.

[00:19:07] Trey Gerrald: All right, well,

[00:19:08] Chelsey Donn: Or like just make it obvious, Like make it like a different color so that it's like, Oh, not available.

[00:19:15] Trey Gerrald: Or just have it. Okay.

[00:19:17] Chelsey Donn: Or just have it, Just get, Show girls. What's wrong with you,

[00:19:19] Trey Gerrald: Literally, we all love doggy chow. All right. Wow. Chelsey, are you ready to go? Hey,

[00:19:26] Chelsey Donn: Well, now that I'm like so heated, I'm absolutely ready to go head to head. Let's do it.

[00:19:33] Trey Gerrald: let's

[00:19:34] VOICEOVER: Says that Kvetch.

[00:19:36] Trey Gerrald: Today is yet another verses episode, and today we're not covering a Duncan. We're gonna cover a one star and a five star on the same topic. Starbucks?

[00:19:49] Chelsey Donn: Woo. Woo. Yep, that's right. For this versus episode, Trey selected the five star and I selected the one star. So to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that quota. I think it's your turn to

[00:20:03] Trey Gerrald: I think so, yeah. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna say heads,

[00:20:06] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:20:07] Trey Gerrald: tails.

[00:20:08] Chelsey Donn: woo. That means I go first.

[00:20:10] Trey Gerrald: So we are going to be covering the original Starbucks location at Pike Place Market in Seattle, Washington. Woo woo. So at the time of this recording, this Starbucks location has 1,432 reviews on Yelp 601 reviews on TripAdvisor and 4,813 reviews on Google.

[00:20:41] Chelsey Donn: It's

[00:20:41] Trey Gerrald: So according to the Starbucks website, the story of Starbucks began in 1971 along the couple stone streets of Seattle's historic Pike Place Market.

[00:20:53] Chelsey Donn: Um, of the gum wall

[00:20:55] Trey Gerrald: Home of the gum wall from previous episode. It was here where Starbucks opened its first store offering fresh roasted coffee, beans, tea, and spices from around the world for its customers to take home.

[00:21:09] Trey Gerrald: Their name was inspired by the classic tale Moby Dick evoking the seafaring tradition of the early coffee traders. Over the next 50 years, they would grow to open stores globally and become and welcome millions of customers each week becoming a part of the fabric of tens of thousands of neighborhoods all around the world and everything they do.

[00:21:28] Trey Gerrald: Starbucks employees remain dedicated to their mission, to inspire and nurture the human spirit, one person, one cop, and one neighborhood at a time. So with all of that background information, let's hop on in and get started with Chelsea's one star review.

[00:21:49] VOICEOVER: Review, That, Review.

[00:21:53] Chelsey Donn: It's pumpkins by a clock. All right, this is a one star review, obviously from Yelp written by Amy K. Here we go, do merchandise

[00:22:09] Trey Gerrald: Oh.

[00:22:11] Chelsey Donn: also. Starbucks will not stand by their product. They state Starbucks does not have a warranty for surf wear. Most people visiting this store aren't trying to get a simple cup of coffee.

[00:22:25] Chelsey Donn: I see a lot of people purchasing store specific merchandise, and I hope other people do not waste their dollar sign, dollar sign on Starbucks anymore. I visited from Los Angeles and waited over 40 minutes in line to get a mug. It was a significant weight in the rain, but I did it because I love S Bucks and thought it'd be a great souvenir for my trip to Seattle.

[00:22:52] Chelsey Donn: However, I didn't realize how there is apparently zero quality control for their products. I bought a unique Pike Place only mug and used it maybe three to four times so far. Not Stren, just coffee, water, or tea out of it. I've also never put it through the dishwasher or microwave. When I tried to drink tea out of it, I noticed there were cracks all along the mug, inside and out on the glaze.

[00:23:25] Chelsey Donn: I took pictures that are attached to my review so you can see, and when I inquired to S Bucks about replacing it, the response was flippant and not helpful. I had saved over 425 points to redeem this mug and I just wanted to replace it. They said, Sorry, no warranty, and here's our return policy, which was no helped me since I used points.

[00:23:52] Trey Gerrald: Oh,

[00:23:53] Chelsey Donn: I have the app which has records of every purchase point, reload, including location, time, date. I didn't bother keeping the receipt to a mug because I trusted Starbucks as a major brand, and because an electronic record already exists, I realize now your information records is for their use only, and if you don't document every single transaction, zealously, Starbucks will screw you over. I had expected them to at least return my points to me, but nope.

[00:24:34] Trey Gerrald: Oh.

[00:24:35] Chelsey Donn: What I've learned from this experience is that loyalty to Starbucks is absolutely meaningless, and they are not a brand that has enough integrity to stand by the products they create and sell. As a consumer, I am extremely disappointed by not only their product, but more so their attitude of resolution of issue, or more accurately, lack thereof.

[00:25:03] Chelsey Donn: My trust and loyalty has disintegrated as apparently does their serve where. I do have pictures. So here we go. We have the first, What I found interesting was, was this sort of unique, uh, merchandise. We have the first Starbucks store, 1912 Pike Place, Seattle, Washington, established 1971. And then you do see on this photo, can you see Trey, how there's like these cracks on the outside of the mug?

[00:25:37] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, but it doesn't look like liquid would come through that it looks like cracks and like,

[00:25:41] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, but it's still like cracked. Like I think that's kind of, And then the second one, look at the inside of the

[00:25:47] Trey Gerrald: Oh yeah.

[00:25:48] Chelsey Donn: That's pretty bad. I'm not happy about that. It says new mug cracked inside and out again, and then another of the outside with more cracks made in the usa. Dishwasher and microwave safe. I mean, not a great look.

[00:26:04] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I see the cracks and like you would suspect that if you bought a mug anywhere else, they would like return it. Especially like you would think That's like to Starbucks. That one mug is like nothing.

[00:26:18] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. And also I thought it was really weird that they do have the record in the app, but then what they also wanted them to have a receipt, even though there's like clearly a record of the purchase

[00:26:30] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, that's insane to me. That makes me mad actually. Cuz I don't ever even get offered a receipt. I don't think, I mean, I've never purchased merchandise, I don't think outta Starbucks, but like, they don't offer you receipts, they just scan your, your app?

[00:26:44] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, usually they don't give you a receipt unless you're like, ask for one. But like you wouldn't think that you would need to because you're buying like a souvenir. I mean it's like I really kind of felt for Amy Kay here, cuz it's like going to Hershey Park or something. Like you're a huge Hershey chocolate fan and you buy like some really cool Hershey Park mug and then it's like wrecked after a day and you're like, I could have just gotten something from Marshall's.

[00:27:10] Trey Gerrald: right?

[00:27:10] Chelsey Donn: offense. No offense to Marshall.

[00:27:13] Trey Gerrald: Well, I also, no, that is definitely standing alone to me for the review. Like the total lack of, um, customer care.

[00:27:20] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:27:21] Trey Gerrald: Especially the 425 points a I've never even considered. I could purchase an even at a normal Starbucks, like a bag of beans or like any of their like holiday cups or like, Yeah, I've never thought about that.

[00:27:34] Trey Gerrald: Like, I guess obviously you can, but I, um, that is frustrating to me that the warranty doesn't extend to the word of the review. Serveware. I've

[00:27:45] Chelsey Donn: know,

[00:27:45] Trey Gerrald: the word serveware

[00:27:47] Chelsey Donn: right. Serveware. I mean, I did think that there was a lot of, you know how I love my flower lang? Flowery. Flowery, You know how I love my flowery language, but there was a lot of extra language throughout this review that I found quite fun.

[00:28:04] Trey Gerrald: Well also in terms of flowery language,

[00:28:07] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:28:08] Trey Gerrald: S box.

[00:28:09] Chelsey Donn: Right. You know what I found interesting about that? So they like, they thought it really told an interesting journey of, of Amy Kay. Because like, it's like when you really love someone and you give them a nickname and you're likemy and SB are really going hot and heavy and then SB like pisses you off and they're like, Starbucks,

[00:28:30] Trey Gerrald: Yes, I totally clocked

[00:28:31] Chelsey Donn: Right? It's like we no longer have that relationship.

[00:28:36] Trey Gerrald: I was gonna ask you, do they say, does Amy type out Starbucks anywhere else in the review? Except for the last, Oh my gosh. Also, what, what time are you saving by abbreviating the word Starbucks to S Box? Like you're cutting out three letters,

[00:28:52] Chelsey Donn: Not much. But I think that like, in an interesting way it did show further demonstrate Amy.

[00:29:00] Trey Gerrald: affinity for the brand.

[00:29:02] Chelsey Donn: that. It's like I'm not some, I'm not just like some lucky Lou that's like, Oh, I guess I'll go into this Starbucks. What the hell? It was like a big deal. I'm going to Seattle. I love Starbucks. I have to go to this location.

[00:29:14] Chelsey Donn: I have to get this limited edition mug. I mean, that's like upsetting when you go for like merch from the original place. It's like that's like an exciting thing to do. And then for it not to even last like three uses,

[00:29:26] Trey Gerrald: That's actually a really great point now that you bring that up, because when you showed me the mug, like it's not just a mug you could buy at the Starbucks in the airport. It is like specifically the first store Starbucks mug. So like, you know, I, maybe you could find that somewhere online, but the feeling is different because you bought it in the actual store when you went, and that was an experience.

[00:29:45] Trey Gerrald: You know, I mean, I, I do think that this is valuable. It's interesting to me that the whole experience of this review is basically about this serveware.

[00:29:54] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I did. I mean obviously there were other reviews. I will say the common thread that I think was a universal thing is that like the customer service wasn't great in the store in general. However, it is hard to ascertain that from this review because it seems like we're talking about the customer service at large.

[00:30:11] Chelsey Donn: Like, I don't know, I can't really tell. Do we think that they were calling the Pike Place location and being like, I know, like I purchased this here. I imagine, I don't know where else they would call,

[00:30:23] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Well that's right because they said that when they were in Seattle, they made this plan. So obviously they either called Starbucks 1-800-STARBUCKS, or they like found the number. Like

[00:30:33] Chelsey Donn: right?

[00:30:33] Trey Gerrald: I've never considered, I mean,

[00:30:35] Chelsey Donn: Like is there a 1-800-STARBUCKS? Like can you just call like a corporate number?

[00:30:40] Trey Gerrald: what's Howard Schultz's number? Let's call him.

[00:30:43] Chelsey Donn: Should we hit up Howard? Howard is officially done as CEO as of a couple weeks ago. I

[00:30:49] Trey Gerrald: Oh, Mosel.

[00:30:50] Chelsey Donn: Mo to Howard.

[00:30:51] Trey Gerrald: But why I do like this review is because I obviously looked at five stars and so many of them spoke about going in and getting merchandise like that. That really is part of it. And they have an exclusive line of merch at this store.

[00:31:06] Trey Gerrald: That's only the first store stuff. I did find another review at a different Starbucks that says like three blocks down the road, there's another Starbucks where you can buy the first store mug. Um, but I don't know if that was truthful or shady or whatever, but there's neither here nor there. You know, my only question here, Amy Kay says they had maybe three or four uses.

[00:31:29] Trey Gerrald: They didn't microwave it, they didn't dishwash it. It was just tea and coffee. But it's also a white mug. So I also know when you have a dark liquid and a white mug that could seep into those cracks through the glazing. Like I, I don't know. I'm just wondering, do we think there's any fault at, on Amy's behalf or strictly 0%?

[00:31:48] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I kind of feel like strictly 0% because if Starbucks is selling this product, Yeah, that's your issue to work around. Then don't sell white mugs if that's like, I mean, how many white mugs are there out there? We have, we have a white fe mug. I've, I've drank out of it a million times. I've never seen cracks.

[00:32:07] Chelsey Donn: Knock on wood.

[00:32:08] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Me

[00:32:08] Chelsey Donn: And I have had this happen before, by the way, two mugs that like I've had this cracking

[00:32:14] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, me too.

[00:32:15] Chelsey Donn: and it doesn't like bother me that much. I think it happened to like a color me mind mug that I

[00:32:20] Trey Gerrald: was just gonna say yes. Yes.

[00:32:23] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So I wonder if it has something to do with like the ceramic paint or what it like what it really is.

[00:32:28] Chelsey Donn: But like it didn't really bother me cuz I was like, I made it and my parents still used it and like we still love it and whatever. But I think that if you're gonna buy, I'm sure what was like an expensive mug. From Starbucks, which like you love. Then Starbucks should be doing their due diligence to make sure that like it's gonna last.

[00:32:46] Chelsey Donn: Like I think that if Amy Kay had had this mug for two years and then it started doing this, I don't think that she would be writing this review, but to only use it a handful of times and have this experience, you know, I think it is worth noting, and I do think it's useful because I think if somebody is going to the Starbucks store for the merch, well maybe they're gonna buy a different type of merch or maybe they're gonna at least be

[00:33:13] Trey Gerrald: Keep the receipt.

[00:33:15] Chelsey Donn: Keep the receipt. Exactly. There's steps that you can take based off of Amy's assessment, which I appreciate.

[00:33:22] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. So like obviously they said money, money sign, money sign What? What else is there for spelling and grammar?

[00:33:29] Chelsey Donn: Well, we obviously started with the all caps. I'm really happy that we didn't stay there. I was a little worried when I started reading the review that we were going to, but we didn't. I kind of like the like money sign, money sign, s bucks of it all. It's not taking away from the experience of reading it and it, like I said, it sort of adds to that personalization flare, not a bot.

[00:33:50] Chelsey Donn: Anything that is like personal like that without being over the top and obnoxious. I kind of like,

[00:33:56] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:33:57] Chelsey Donn: I don't think that I'm gonna count that against Amy. Six people did find this useful.

[00:34:01] Trey Gerrald: Like I find Amy to be truthful. I don't know if the mug was a fluke. I don't know if, if this was a bad batch, like I'm not really sure how to deduce that necessarily. But I was entertained, I did find the colloquialisms that Amy used to be entertaining, even though it wasn't exceedingly humorous, it was, um, entertaining.

[00:34:22] Trey Gerrald: Especially with a one star, especially with caps. Cuz you start to, like, you could go into that being like, this person's gonna be

[00:34:28] Chelsey Donn: Yelling at me the whole time.

[00:34:30] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm.

[00:34:30] Chelsey Donn: Totally. And then the only other thing that I'll say is that we did kind of get what I love in a one star, which is a bit of a compliment sandwich, right? Because we are talking about, even though we are so upset about this, how much we love Starbucks, how much we were passionate about the store, that we wanted to make this a part of our trip.

[00:34:50] Chelsey Donn: And I like that. And it makes me trust Amy more because I, They're not just doing what some, once our reviews do with the piling on and being like, and the coffee sucked or, and the coffee wasn't, You know what I mean? They didn't do anything like that. So I appreciated that as well. Have we done our due diligence for Amy?

[00:35:09] Chelsey Donn: Should we crown Amy? Is there anything we should consider?

[00:35:12] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, let's do it. I, I could do it.

[00:35:14] Chelsey Donn: that's Crown Amy.

[00:35:15] Trey Gerrald: So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards. In an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will say, simultaneously reveal our rating.

[00:35:24] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:35:32] Chelsey Donn: Okay, I'm holding up four crowns. Trey is holding up four and a half crowns. Trey, you go first. Why? Four and a half crowns for Amy Kay,

[00:35:39] Trey Gerrald: You know, I honestly, when this began, I was sort of like, What, What? This doesn't have to anything to do with the store, but then when you talked about Hershey Park, I was like, This is exactly important for the first Starbucks store because you do want to commemorate the experience. So like I imagine that the merchandising sales are so out of the roof for this location because people are gonna want their coffee and their cool mug from the place.

[00:36:06] Trey Gerrald: You know what I mean? And even though I can't deduce if like Amy is at fault or not, or any of that, like I do think that if she's being truthful with the three or four uses, then this is really like below the pale. And it would have an impact on me if, if when I ever go to this first Starbucks in my life that I'm gonna keep a receipt, I'm gonna ask for a receipt and I'm gonna be a little more diligent about the wear of my mug, which I would not have considered or even thought about if it hadn't been for Amy's review.

[00:36:38] Trey Gerrald: So for that reason, I said four and a half. The ultimate payoff is, is large. Why did you say four?

[00:36:42] Chelsey Donn: I know. I'm starting to think maybe I should have gone closer to four and a half or maybe even a Review Queen. I went with four because I thought, yeah, there could have been a little bit more information about like the, like specifically about the store, what it looked like or what the experience of actually being in the store, shopping in the store was like.

[00:36:59] Chelsey Donn: Because a lot of the review was obviously focusing on like the recon afterwards, so I couldn't really go with a full five star for that reason. That being said, I was sort of glancing over it again and, and Amy did mention waiting 40 minutes in line in the rain. So there was like some info about expect to wait a long time.

[00:37:17] Chelsey Donn: I think overall Amy did a really good job, not a full Review Queen for me, but very solid information and I think, uh, Amy, Amy is nearly a Review Queen and that's why I went with uh, four crowns. Good job Amy.

[00:37:30] Trey Gerrald: Good job, Amy. I hope you get a new mug.

[00:37:32] Chelsey Donn: J. Good J Amy.

[00:37:34] Trey Gerrald: Good, Meg?

[00:37:35] Chelsey Donn: Good. Mer. Good.

[00:37:38] Trey Gerrald: Good me.

[00:37:39] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. I kinda love that.

[00:37:41] Trey Gerrald: All right.

[00:37:42] Chelsey Donn: Amy, if you're listening, will send you a good MER mug in exchange for your Starbucks one

[00:37:47] Trey Gerrald: We create new merchandise every episode of Review, That, Review,

[00:37:51] Chelsey Donn: I know. I love it. Good. Me?

[00:37:55] Trey Gerrald: well, we're gonna go get to work on making those mes. In the meantime, let's take a break and when we come back we can hear an entirely different side of the S Bucks story.

[00:38:05] Chelsey Donn: The Aspl saga. I can't wait.

[00:38:07] Trey Gerrald: B

[00:38:08] Chelsey Donn: Brv.

[00:38:11] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

[00:38:41] Trey Gerrald: It's game time Chelsey. I've created a new game for us.

[00:38:46] Chelsey Donn: God. Okay.

[00:38:48] Trey Gerrald: me ask, are you ready to play?

[00:38:52] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:38:55] Trey Gerrald: Is.

[00:38:59] Chelsey Donn: Oh, I like it. Is it Joe or is it? No. Okay.

[00:39:04] Trey Gerrald: All right, so I have a bunch of different flavors of coffee, and you're gonna tell me if it's Joe, it exists in the world, you can purchase or if it's, No, it's a flavor tray made up.

[00:39:16] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Okay.

[00:39:17] Trey Gerrald: Self-explanatory. We ready?

[00:39:18] Chelsey Donn: Yes, we're ready.

[00:39:20] Trey Gerrald: All right, here we go. So Chelsey, the first option is, Is this Joe or no?

[00:39:26] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:39:26] Trey Gerrald: Wake the Fuck Up.

[00:39:28] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, sassy, Joe.

[00:39:35] Trey Gerrald: That's correct.

[00:39:37] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:39:38] Trey Gerrald: That's a brand you can buy on Amazon. I've considered him many times.

[00:39:42] Chelsey Donn: okay.

[00:39:43] Trey Gerrald: All right. The next one is, this Joe or No?

[00:39:47] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:39:48] Trey Gerrald: Tickled, Pickled.

[00:39:50] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. No,

[00:39:56] Trey Gerrald: Yes.

[00:39:57] Chelsey Donn: I, Right. Wow.

[00:39:59] Trey Gerrald: That was made up by me. Was it the pickled that gave it away, or was it like if it was tickled pickle or

[00:40:06] Chelsey Donn: just felt like something that you would make up

[00:40:10] Trey Gerrald: Okay, fine. Okay, this is next one. Is this Joe or no?

[00:40:16] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:40:17] Trey Gerrald: Pompe Roast,

[00:40:27] Chelsey Donn: I had a feeling I was gonna be wrong.

[00:40:29] Trey Gerrald: Do you? You

[00:40:30] Chelsey Donn: one. Trey?

[00:40:31] Trey Gerrald: But do you know why that's so offensive?

[00:40:35] Chelsey Donn: No.

[00:40:36] Trey Gerrald: Pompe. They were all burned alive by the volcano

[00:40:39] Chelsey Donn: Um, if I knew that, I would probably know that it was a no. Whoopsies. Okay.

[00:40:48] Trey Gerrald: All right. Joe or no cup of PB and chocolate?

[00:40:53] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, kind. Hope that's a joke. That sounds good.

[00:41:02] Trey Gerrald: It is that is created by the company Mods Coffee.

[00:41:07] Chelsey Donn: yeah.

[00:41:08] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Joe or no Birds, saliva.

[00:41:16] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God, I'm so torn right now because this is, birth saliva is an actual like dessert that they, that they serve at restaurants. It's a real thing. So I'm gonna say Joe

[00:41:32] Trey Gerrald: That's right.

[00:41:33] Chelsey Donn: Oh,

[00:41:34] Trey Gerrald: it's, um, this is coffee created by a company called Royal Bird's Nest, which harnesses birds nests and bird saliva, which is like, good for your immunity, or something that like Asian, eastern,

[00:41:51] Chelsey Donn: I went to a restaurant with my parents and they ordered this for dessert.

[00:41:55] Trey Gerrald: There you go. Okay.

[00:41:57] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Not to yak on anyone's yum.

[00:41:59] Trey Gerrald: Exactly. Joe, or no purple potato.

[00:42:03] Chelsey Donn: Hmm. No. Oh,

[00:42:12] Trey Gerrald: That's wrong, Unfortunately. Purple Potato Latte is a flavor from a company called Subspace Coffee. All right, Joe, or no burnt lava?

[00:42:25] Chelsey Donn: Ooh. no.

[00:42:32] Trey Gerrald: Good job.

[00:42:35] Chelsey Donn: Okay. It's a lot of pressure after the Pompe. I, I just, I wasn't sure.

[00:42:45] Trey Gerrald: The Palm Roast Coffee. That's terrible. All right, we have three more. You ready?

[00:42:49] Chelsey Donn: Yes, I'm ready.

[00:42:51] Trey Gerrald: All right. Creamy mac and cheese, Joe, or

[00:42:54] Chelsey Donn: Ew. Oh my God. I hope it's now. No.

[00:43:02] Trey Gerrald: I made that up.

[00:43:03] Chelsey Donn: thank goodness.

[00:43:05] Trey Gerrald: All right. Currently you are at five, correct? And two incorrect. So you're winning so far.

[00:43:09] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:43:10] Trey Gerrald: Joe, or no?

[00:43:11] Chelsey Donn: Mm-hmm.

[00:43:12] Trey Gerrald: Hotty, biscotti, vanilla almond.

[00:43:20] Chelsey Donn: If that's not Joe, that's gotta be Review, That, Review, Joe. Cuz that sounds delicious. I'm gonna go with Joe.

[00:43:27] Trey Gerrald: I thought you would think I made that up. That is Joe. It's a flavor once again by Mods Coffee.

[00:43:32] Chelsey Donn: Ooh. I gotta get involved with this mod business.

[00:43:36] Trey Gerrald: All right, Final one, Papa Fritas Brew Joe or no? You got it right. Do you know what that translates to?

[00:43:51] Chelsey Donn: French fries, fried fried potato. Woo.

[00:43:56] Trey Gerrald: Oh, I really wish there was a French fried coffee. That would be so good. You got eight Diva. Woo. I'm so proud of you.

[00:44:06] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. Thank you.

[00:44:07] Trey Gerrald: I, That was good. You did not get tracked. You're a Joe expert.

[00:44:12] Chelsey Donn: and I don't even have as much Joe as you do, but I think it's, you know, it's this, We got this in sync thing going on,

[00:44:18] Trey Gerrald: I think that's

[00:44:19] Chelsey Donn: and with that in mind,

[00:44:21] Trey Gerrald: bye.

[00:44:22] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Love you, Oh my God.

[00:44:29] VOICEOVER: Review, That, Review.

[00:44:33] Chelsey Donn: All right. We are back from that rousing, caffeinated game break. And now it is your turn. Trey?

[00:44:40] Trey Gerrald: Yes. Okey dokey. So today I have a five star review also from Yelp for the original Starbucks, and mine is written by Alyssa e.

[00:44:50] Chelsey Donn: Melissa E. Okay.

[00:44:51] Trey Gerrald: And Alyssa E is a Yelp elite. Here we go. The first ever Starbucks store. Starbucks was opened in 1971 in Seattle's Pike Place Market. The OG Shop maintains most details of its original appearance, so while this is absolutely a tourist attraction, it is worth seeing.

[00:45:16] Trey Gerrald: They do not serve any food, but they do have exclusive merchandise in a store. Specific Pike Place Roast. The employees seemed genuinely enthusiastic about working. I initially attempted to come here on a Sunday at 11:00 AM which was a mistake. There were over 200 people in line. I tried the next day Monday at 8:20 AM and the wait was only 15 minutes.

[00:45:42] Trey Gerrald: I was helped by barista Anthony, who was kind and knowledgeable. I had to try the Pike Place roast, which can only be purchased at the store. And the interest of tasting the nuanced flavors of the coffee. I ordered it as an Iced Americano, the friendly older lady working, prepared it perfectly. Overall, a fun and memorable experience,

[00:46:07] VOICEOVER: Mm.

[00:46:08] Trey Gerrald: and five people have found this useful. One, found it funny, two found it. Cool. And there are four images attached. One is of the storefront.

[00:46:17] Chelsey Donn: Let's see the images. So Alyssa lives in Seattle, or was visiting, did she say?

[00:46:23] Trey Gerrald: Well, they're from Long Beach.

[00:46:25] Chelsey Donn: Okay, so they're visiting. Okay.

[00:46:27] Trey Gerrald: So they have a picture of the front window and then all the people in line. Probably on the Monday it doesn't look like that many people. Then an order of the specific Pike Place bags of coffee and then their cup,

[00:46:41] Chelsey Donn: their drink. Nice. I like Alyssa's review. I like Alyssa. I think that Alyssa seems like a go with the flow kind of gal. I like that she went on the first day, saw that there was a huge line, and was like, This is a mistake. I'm gonna come back another time. You know, like what a good attitude.

[00:47:00] Chelsey Donn: Alyssa. Like, look at this. I mean, Alyssa had a situation where she could have easily been one of those people that was writing a one star review. I went, It was a nightmare. I couldn't get in, blah, blah, blah. But instead she was just like, Well, obviously it's busy. It's a weekend. I'll come back on the morning of a weekday and it should be better.

[00:47:17] Chelsey Donn: And it was so I thought, Mad props to Alyssa.

[00:47:21] Trey Gerrald: I could even see someone taking one star off and making this a four star. Because they had to return. Right. Exactly.

[00:47:27] Chelsey Donn: It also seems like interestingly enough though, Alyssa did mention, which I did like that Alyssa mentioned, that they don't serve food. Very queenly tip, because most Starbucks do serve food at this point. Alyssa also did mention the merchandise, but Alyssa did not mention whether or not she herself did purchase merchandise.

[00:47:51] Chelsey Donn: So I'm gonna go with the assumption that she did not,

[00:47:54] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I don't think they did.

[00:47:55] Chelsey Donn: because I do think that that comes into play with our like one star review. You know, maybe if, if Amy had just been going there for coffee, maybe Amy wouldn't have been so salty about the experience. You know, you can go to this Starbucks and you can still have a unique experience by getting this special blend without getting merchandised.

[00:48:18] Chelsey Donn: So I thought that that was interesting.

[00:48:20] Trey Gerrald: Oh yeah. That is interesting. Yin yang. I also thought it was interesting cuz you mentioned a lot of the one stars were talking about, the employees seemed a little grumpy or whatever. And in my experience, reading through a lot of five stars, people were constantly talking about how great the employees were.

[00:48:37] Trey Gerrald: They seemed to be excited to be working at that location. How there was like a line attendant who was like talking about trivia and I, I do think it is Queen of Alyssa to name Anthony

[00:48:47] Chelsey Donn: Yes, I put a star there.

[00:48:50] Trey Gerrald: But then they also say an older lady preparing

[00:48:52] Chelsey Donn: I know.

[00:48:53] Trey Gerrald: but I guess she couldn't see their tag.

[00:48:55] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I, yeah, I wrote that down too. I thought it was Queen Lee that, Yeah, that, that she gave Anthony a shout out. Who knows. You know, I do think it's interesting with these line scenarios, like anything that you go to with a long line, I really feel like the energy of the people in line really affects everybody's energy, including the employees that work there.

[00:49:17] Chelsey Donn: As you know, we both worked in service industry jobs, so we get it. And I do think it's interesting to point out that maybe in the morning when you first get to work, before you've been like berated by all the people, maybe you are in a better mood. So maybe a lot of these more negative reviews were people that were.

[00:49:35] Chelsey Donn: Going closer to the end of the day after these people had been through God knows what, you know, just a thought,

[00:49:41] Trey Gerrald: I mean, it is interesting. I was thinking about something about Alyssa's tone. Feels very much like I am a Yelp elite. I'm giving you the first paragraph about the backstory of this, but within that, I appreciate that Alyssa says, obviously this is gonna be a tourist attraction. So I did find it to be worth seeing, even though I knew like what I was walking into, which I think is a little bit of my whole point about like characterizing a Yelp elite, is that they're experiencing many different things and so they have the ability to pull back to zoom out a little bit, versus someone who is like really angry because they had a very bad experience and they wanna like scream.

[00:50:28] Trey Gerrald: You know what I mean?

[00:50:28] Chelsey Donn: I think that Alyssa, Yes, and I do, you know that, I like that. I love, uh, even with the gum wall situation, when the reviewer of that gave us a little bit of a backstory of where did this come from? Why is this here? Even though it's not like a traditional review and that this is just my experience, it's giving us a little bit of history.

[00:50:47] Chelsey Donn: I do appreciate it, especially from these Yelp reviewers, elite reviewers, rather, because it gives context to wait, why, You know, if you hadn't known for some reason, I'm sure it's, it's marked, marked, but if you were like, Wait, why is there a line around the block for this Starbucks? Like, at least you'll know.

[00:51:05] Trey Gerrald: and I do think it is the, the, a lot, there is a lot of useful information to extract from this. On a Sunday at 11, there were 200 people online. Monday at eight 20. There, it was about a 15 minute wait. Like that's not, like I have waited 15 minutes in Manhattan at Starbucks. So,

[00:51:21] Chelsey Donn: Sure. Yeah. So a little queenly tip in there.

[00:51:24] Trey Gerrald: and that there is exclusive merchandise and the store specific roast, you know, that they were friendly and that it was a fun, memorable experience. Like it does pack a lot of info,

[00:51:36] Chelsey Donn: It definitely packs a lot of info. It doesn't really leave a lot of like fat on the bone, you know, like we have a lot of information here, but it's not like too long. I really find myself a fan of Alyssa's, I

[00:51:49] Trey Gerrald: Spelling of grammar is really great. They obviously did do spell check. I find Alyssa to be truthful, I do think that the no shade alarm goes off, especially in the area of like there were 200 people. So I'm like, let me just try this tomorrow. I think,

[00:52:05] Chelsey Donn: I think that, I think that Alyssa falls on the scale of like seemingly more patient than most people. I'll say

[00:52:12] Trey Gerrald: I would agree. Mm-hmm.

[00:52:13] Chelsey Donn: You know, I think that like you're gonna have, you're gonna have the like haters that are gonna go nuts, and then you're gonna have the Alyssa's, and then you're gonna have a lot of people in.

[00:52:23] Trey Gerrald: So for a commoner fluke experience, I mean, it's sort of in the eye of the beholder, but I don't know. Cuz if it is touristy, you

[00:52:32] Chelsey Donn: That being said, like Alyssa did her due diligence and she was like warning people. So if you were reading this review and you are a little bit more of a crochety person, even though it's a five star, you might say like, Ugh, you know what? I'm gonna skip it. I don't feel it. I don't like Starbucks enough to wait in line for however long.

[00:52:50] Trey Gerrald: Or you could think like, let me try multiple days at different times, cuz I might not get in the very

[00:52:56] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Or definitely let me not go on a weekend or whatever.

[00:52:59] Trey Gerrald: Exactly. Humor, entertainment. I'm a little split on, I don't find it very humorous. I'm curious that some there has one vote for funny. I don't know what, and this is funny

[00:53:10] Chelsey Donn: yeah, sometimes they get a vote for funny, and I'm confused.

[00:53:13] Trey Gerrald: and I don't find it to be entertaining, to be honest. I think it's just very reportedly.

[00:53:19] Chelsey Donn: Agree very reportedly. Should we report, should we Review That, Review.

[00:53:24] Trey Gerrald: Let's do it. I'm ready.

[00:53:25] Chelsey Donn: do it.

[00:53:25] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating

[00:53:31] VOICEOVER: to.

[00:53:33] Chelsey Donn: Four and a half crowns, four and a half crowns. The Queens are unanimous. Really loved this review Trey, great job. Only took off that half crown because lack of humor. And then also I think Alyssa might be a little bit more patient than your average Joe, I guess in this case, pun intended. And I think that there might be some people that would be a little bit more turned off by some of the things that Alyssa really let slide.

[00:53:58] Chelsey Donn: So that was the only reason I took half a crown off. Other than that, super Queenly, learned a lot. Didn't know about the exclusive roast, you know, didn't know about the no food. Lots of information here, which I really appreciate. And the length was great. And Alyssa just seems like cool check, good vibes.

[00:54:14] Chelsey Donn: So that's why I went with four and a half. How about you?

[00:54:16] Trey Gerrald: Interesting. I said four and a half because this is basically a Review Queen, except I'm missing a little personality. That's all. Like I would love one chuckle or would love, I don't know, something about it feels a little clinical, like I would love if Alyssa was my doctor. You know it. But that's all. It just feels a little book reporter, that's all.

[00:54:39] Chelsey Donn: that's all. That's great. Good job, Alyssa. I mean, very interesting with this one in five, I don't really think I walk away feeling like. Where would I, where would I rate Starbucks Pike Place on a scale of one to one to five? Based off of these two reviews? I'd say I'd probably give it like a three and a half, four.

[00:55:02] Chelsey Donn: Overall maybe, maybe a four, just because I think that both of these reviewers gave interesting information, and the one thing that I'm learning is that maybe the quality of the merchandise isn't gonna be the best. And so I think that I could still go to this location and enjoy my custom brew and all of that and enjoy sort of like the, the not nossal, I guess, the nostalgia of the first Starbucks location.

[00:55:31] Chelsey Donn: So I, I'm sure it's a, it's a good hang.

[00:55:34] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I'm a little split. I'm unsure. I, I really did like when you brought up Hershey Park, cuz something to me feels a little like Corn Bly about wanting like people waiting in line for the first Starbucks, which I even read on Wikipedia. This is not the first location. It actually was a couple of doors down or something.

[00:55:51] Chelsey Donn: Oh funny.

[00:55:52] Trey Gerrald: But then when you mentioned Hershey Park, I was like right. I mean it is like a brand, like I understand they appeal and if I found myself near Pike Place Market, I would certainly be curious to go to the Starbucks. Absolutely. I

[00:56:03] Chelsey Donn: And if you, and if you are like curious enough to stand online cuz you love it that much, you know, then it probably is your Disneyland, I don't know, people we know it's pumpkin spice season still people are very, very into their Starbucks

[00:56:19] Trey Gerrald: They are indeed. So. Good job, Alyssa.

[00:56:21] Chelsey Donn: yes. Good job Amy. We've got two A's two. The the battle of the A's today but not really much of a battle cuz they both ended up on top I think.

[00:56:30] Trey Gerrald: Good. Mer girls.

[00:56:32] Chelsey Donn: Good Meg, ladies. All right. I learned a lot today, Trey. I learned that I do not like Dunking Donuts, jelly beans that much. I. Yaki Yaki. All right. Well, I think that what this means is that we have reached the most regal portion of the show. Trey, who are you inducting tonight for?

[00:56:54] VOICEOVER: My Royal line.

[00:56:55] Trey Gerrald: All right. So today an honor of our coffee episode, I have decided to end up this interesting coffee company called Queer Wave Coffee.

[00:57:07] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:57:08] Trey Gerrald: All right, so this is a coffee company started by an individual named Cheyenne Sochi Love, who is a self identifying indigenous two spirit, non-binary trans girl.

[00:57:23] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:57:24] Trey Gerrald: So I was really struck by this company.

[00:57:27] Trey Gerrald: I found out about it on Instagram, ironically, and I listened to a podcast called Trans and Caffeinated that interviewed Cheyenne and was really taken by the story. So I wanted to induct them today. So Cheyenne created this company, which Queer Wave Coffee is cultivated and harvested and Honduras by the link of people and roasted on Chio aloe Land, which is pre colonized Oakland, California.

[00:57:57] Chelsey Donn: Wow.

[00:57:58] Trey Gerrald: So the intentionality around Queer Wave Coffee and Cheyenne Sochi loves intentionality in life, is working toward living and running a business in a way that disrupts the colonial supply chain, which is a fascinating conversation that I think we should all be a little more aware of. Coffee was stolen from Ethiopia and smuggled throughout the equator by colonial men.

[00:58:27] Trey Gerrald: Indigenous people were forced to grow coffee under the power and benefit of white plantation owners. So a majority of the coffee industry today still continues to be controlled by straight, cis white men, along with everything in this whole paradigm, right? So it's impossible to make any change by supporting those in power.

[00:58:49] Trey Gerrald: So Cheyenne has created Queer Wave Coffee as an opportunity. To disrupt that supply chain. And I love this quote from their website. It's, they say, Support your local coffee roaster if you feel good about their business practices, ideas, and bring good politics to your cup. If they don't, we are here for you.

[00:59:13] Trey Gerrald: Which I think is such a Queen amazing opportunity. There's so much like, this is obviously a very like tough, dark conversation, and I think that people like Cheyenne are the real pioneers of like, you know, taking action around what you preach. And so I bought a bag of Queer Wave coffee today, and I encourage all of you to do the same.

[00:59:34] Trey Gerrald: And you can follow Queer Wave Coffee on Instagram at Queer Wave Coffee. And for that reason, my Royal Highness today is Queer Wave Coffee and Cheyenne Sochi love.

[00:59:49] Chelsey Donn: Love that. Thank you, Cheyenne. What a great mission. I'll have to check out the coffee myself.

[00:59:56] Trey Gerrald: I mean, and also just giving power to the area that was colonized in 1772 and not calling it Oakland, I think is so incredible. Very fascinating. You can also follow Cheyenne on Instagram as well. Well, that, That's it. So we've done another round on the R You and RQ Ferris Wheel of I'm a Caffeinated.

[01:00:20] Chelsey Donn: thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[01:00:24] Trey Gerrald: If you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy. If you have zero friends and zero enemies, lucky you, but you want the chance to be featured on our show, then please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, our chaser.

[01:00:38] Chelsey Donn: If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit Review That Review dot com slash donate, where even a $1 tip is much appreciated

[01:00:46] Trey Gerrald: Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with all of the goings on in the Queen.

[01:00:51] Chelsey Donn: and hit up our voice mailbox 1 8 50 review zero. You can follow us on all the socials at the review. Queens. I'm at ChelseyBD.

[01:01:01] Trey Gerrald: And I am at Trey Gerrald. On today's 52nd episode, a full year of the after show Chelsey and Trey will be rating and reviewing a five star Amazon review. Four Dunking Donuts, jelly beans.

[01:01:23] Chelsey Donn: Oh my goodness. Somebody had five stars for this.

[01:01:28] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm. , get ready. So if you wanna find out what made Chelsey say,

[01:01:33] Chelsey Donn: Hands down, this place has the worst crack in Seattle. And find out what made Trey say

[01:01:40] Trey Gerrald: Well, why didn't I do this since it's so stupid?

[01:01:42] Chelsey Donn: then. Join our patreonPage@patreon.com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly members only after show companion podcast.

[01:01:52] Trey Gerrald: And remember,

[01:01:53] Chelsey Donn: Ignore the haters. You're a Queen.

[01:01:56] Trey Gerrald: gender nonspecific Queen.

[01:01:58] Chelsey Donn: Gender non-specific Starbucks Pike Place, Jelly Bean Queen Queen S

[01:02:06] Trey Gerrald: buy

[01:02:08] Chelsey Donn: Bye.


Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



[01:02:27] Trey Gerrald: sandwich.

[01:02:29] Chelsey Donn: Sand. We,

[01:02:30] Trey Gerrald: Do you think you've ever said the word sandwich?

[01:02:33] Chelsey Donn: I don't like think that I consciously say sand. We, I think maybe it just sounds like that. I think I say sandwich like a witch. Like a witch with a room,

[01:02:44] Trey Gerrald: Right. Yeah.

[01:02:45] Chelsey Donn: you know? But I guess it sounds like sandwich.

[01:02:48] Trey Gerrald: No, no, no. I'm asking

[01:02:49] Chelsey Donn: I also say tree, which like, but apparently sometimes it sounds like I'm saying tree, like, like I'm chewing on it.

[01:02:57] Trey Gerrald: Oh

[01:02:57] Chelsey Donn: You know what I mean? So,

[01:02:59] Trey Gerrald: sound cuz I say Trey. I don't say Trey.

[01:03:02] Chelsey Donn: exactly. I'm sure I say Trey tree. Yeah. Like I chew on it a little bit, but you know,

[01:03:08] Trey Gerrald: That's chew on some jelly beans. Shall we

[01:03:10] Chelsey Donn: Ugh, Not this, not these, but I'm curious to see what this five star review might possibly have to say. So let's hop on over to the after show.

[01:03:19] Trey Gerrald: join us on Friday Queens? Bye.

[01:03:21] Chelsey Donn: Bye.

 

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