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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 93: "Yosemite National Park"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 93: "Yosemite National Park"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello.

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello and hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. The podcast that is dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:40] Chelsey Donn: Reviews. We're just like Cisco and Ebert only. Instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:52] Trey Gerrald: that is Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:54] Chelsey Donn: And that is Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.

[00:00:58] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:02] Trey Gerrald: A' very special Cheerio to all of our members over on Patreon. To learn more, go to Review That Review dot com slash Patreon. If you want to support the show in an additional way, then go visit Review That Review dot com slash donate. ChelseyBD, we're A' little late getting going, and you said you have something


[00:01:23] Chelsey Donn: know.

[00:01:24] Trey Gerrald: What's the tea?

[00:01:25] Chelsey Donn: You know, we're just, we celebrate all the victories that we can, but 'I 'I just got A' big callback for national commercial. So we'll see. We'll see what happens. 'I have that tomorrow morning.

[00:01:36] Trey Gerrald: miles the top. Do you have to do anything different?

[00:01:39] Chelsey Donn: Not really 'I. Think they liked what 'I did, so that's good. 'I do have to do laundry cuz you know the good old adage of you gotta wear, wear the callback,

[00:01:48] Trey Gerrald: The same

[00:01:49] Chelsey Donn: what, what you wore to the audition.

And 'I had the audition and then like ran all around town. So 'I 'I, 'I needs A' wash. So I'm gonna wash the wardrobe and just show up and, and do what 'I did. to get this far and hopefully we book it, it would be A'. Very exciting moment.

[00:02:07] Trey Gerrald: Well, fingers crossed, everyone, 'I know, everyone in the Queensland will be sending support. This is

[00:02:12] Chelsey Donn: thank you.

[00:02:13] Trey Gerrald: conversation for people that aren't, that don't have experience with, um, acting necessarily. But, you know, you talking about wanting to, needing to launder, it reminds me that 'I feel very superstitious about stuff like that.

[00:02:26] Chelsey Donn: but you don't launder.

[00:02:27] Trey Gerrald: I'm starting to feel like 'I shouldn't, 'I don't wanna put anything into your head.

[00:02:30] Chelsey Donn: Oh no. Should 'I not wash it?

[00:02:32] Trey Gerrald: No, you should do whatever. Superstitions aren't real and they're only power to those who are weak to them. But 'I feel like 'I can't alter the state at all, which like doesn't make me feel free or give me any power.

It's just some weird way to like disempower myself so

[00:02:48] Chelsey Donn: Well that will make me feel better if 'I end up needing to fabrice it cuz 'I don't have time. . So 'I feel like I'll be okay.

[00:02:56] Trey Gerrald: 'I know that you will be okay. 'I. Know that the ability with which you can be hired as an actor has nothing to do with the laundered level of the clothing on your body. 'I know that mentally and logically

[00:03:07] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:03:08] Trey Gerrald: for other people, not for myself. 'I

[00:03:10] Chelsey Donn: Yes, thank you. Thank you.

[00:03:12] Trey Gerrald: Well, so that sounds like you've been busy, right?

[00:03:14] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, we gotta celebrate even just the win of the callback, so, um, yeah, so that's exciting. How was your week?

[00:03:22] Trey Gerrald: Well, 'I feel like 'I was channeling ChelseyBD because 'I was sick.

[00:03:29] Chelsey Donn: Oh no.

[00:03:29] Trey Gerrald: 'I know. Thankfully it wasn't Covid. 'I. 'I did get very sick last Wednesday and went to bed early, and it was really obnoxious because David and 'I had A' date planned. And we were gonna go to do Korean barbecue, which is very popular.

It's the prominent cuisine in the town that we live in, and we haven't done it yet. So we were like, we're gonna do it on Wednesday, and then we were gonna go to A' Gay Bar and 'I just didn't feel hot. 'I, 'I felt hot, so, So 'I went to bed early and then literally slept until 7:00 PM on

[00:04:03] Chelsey Donn: Wow. So like A', full day in bed.

[00:04:06] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, it was rough.

It was weird.

[00:04:08] Chelsey Donn: but now you feel okay.

[00:04:10] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, like 'I felt very weird. And then 'I had to do A' A' double shift on Friday. So 'I was like at my job for more than 12 hours. And 'I, they ended up being fine, but 'I was like very worried. 'I didn't know if 'I was just gonna have to puke at any moment,

[00:04:24] Chelsey Donn: Oh no.

[00:04:25] Trey Gerrald: but it was okay. You know, 'I felt 'I like 'I feel.

'I feel normal today. It's now Monday. So yeah, 'I feel better, but 'I was just like gone out. And 'I woke up like at 7:00 PM on Thursday, and 'I was like, 'I have to post the Instagram 'I. Wonder if ChelseyBD has noticed that the Instagram hasn't been posted today.

[00:04:45] Chelsey Donn: not noticed.

[00:04:46] Trey Gerrald: But it was like very funny that that was like with me, where 'I was

[00:04:49] Chelsey Donn: Oh my

[00:04:50] Trey Gerrald: oh, 'I have to do 'I.


[00:04:52] Chelsey Donn: ChelseyBD does not care.

[00:04:53] Trey Gerrald: well, my body knew 'I needed to do it, but

[00:04:56] Chelsey Donn: know 'I. Mean 'I. Know what you mean? Cuz like 'I have my own little like tasks and timeline for things with A' podcast. And 'I always like, is Trey it? Whatever. And I'm like, he doesn't care. 'I don't care. Nobody cares. Take care of yourself.

[00:05:08] Trey Gerrald: our responsibilities are like on our sides. We're like, not, not paying attention, but yeah. So, but otherwise, 'I have had A' A' pretty good week, so

[00:05:15] Chelsey Donn: Good. Well, while you were laying down, were you like just ruminating over all the things you wanted to complain about? Like being sick and you know, not being able to have Korean barbecue.

[00:05:26] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God. 'I have to tell you though, like beautiful segue, but the 'I 'I was actually looking at like Korean barbecue places, you know? And like the raw meat, cuz they cook A' lot. So 'I was just like, this is not helping 'I have to lay down. Like that was really when 'I was like, 'I can't go watch raw meat be cooked in front of me, like

[00:05:44] Chelsey Donn: Not when you're sick. It's not A'. Good feeling.

[00:05:47] Trey Gerrald: back to the beautiful segue. Yes, 'I am totally ready to.

[00:05:49] VOICEOVER: Lodge, A', Complaint.

[00:05:51] Trey Gerrald: So obviously 'I would love to complain about when you're sweating in the bed, your sheets get wet and you don't feel like, but I'm not gonna do that. 'I actually am today. 'I am gonna take the opportunity to complain about something that really bothers me A' lot more.

It happened today when 'I was getting A' haircut and it happens always, always at A' hair salon. The really uncomfortable, awkward, small talk,

[00:06:16] Chelsey Donn: Hmm. Yeah.

[00:06:17] Trey Gerrald: God 'I hate.

[00:06:18] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:06:19] Trey Gerrald: like 'I don't want to just sit there like silently cuz like that's also awkward. But like, you know,

[00:06:26] Chelsey Donn: How long have you been going to the, to this particular place?

[00:06:30] Trey Gerrald: 'I knew this was gonna be where we diverge in the road. Cuz you shared on the show A' while back that you go to the same place you went to whatever. So 'I just go to Supercuts and it's like whoever is there, whatever. So it's like 'I don't always have repeat people like,

[00:06:43] Chelsey Donn: But 'I will say that 'I think that's one of the reason why 'I, like A' repeat person, cuz 'I don't really feel as obligated to have A' small talk or like if we are gonna have quote unquote small talk, at least there's like some sort of continuity of like, Oh, how did the blah, blah, blah go? Or the last time you were here we talked about this and so it's like more natural than like the, the weather's been odd lately, hasn't it?

It was 70 yesterday and 40 today. You know, like how many times can you have that conversation on both ends? Like it kind of makes me feel bad for the stylist too, cuz how boring.

[00:07:17] Trey Gerrald: 'I know 'I, imagine that like bartenders probably have A', similar experience, probably not servers cuz you're not really getting in deep conversations with the people. But like 'I feel like any, any customer service like hospitality places 'I feel like you have to, like there's A' certain amount of small talk, but it always especially shows up and there is A' sense of anxiety like the minute they call my name.

every time I'm getting A' haircut. So yeah, 'I recognize it's because I'm like repeating this experience with different people. But like today, the really lovely hairstylist was asking me about my wife and kids.

[00:07:54] Chelsey Donn: Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Your

[00:07:55] Trey Gerrald: And it's like, ugh, I'm not gonna get into this conversation. Like, but it's like, so I'm just like, 'I try to like move quickly cuz 'I don't want to talk A' lot for her then to be like, that's A' fag.

But like, you know, it's just very uncomfortable. Like, cuz now you've said that and 'I don't want to have to have A' conversation that I'm. like cuz 'I do have A' ring. So they know, you know.

[00:08:17] Chelsey Donn: You're

[00:08:17] Trey Gerrald: Anyway, it's also, I'm just there to use the two and A', half guard, razor blade tremor, hair. Cut my hair, do some snips.

Let's get outta here. Less than 25 minutes. Like, come on, let's go. Like 'I don't, this is not an opportunity for me to. Teach you that. You shouldn't assume that A', Meritor, you know, it's like not even about that. It's just the small talk, isn't it? Sort of like, oh, what? Like what's your idea of like the best week?

It's like 'I. It's just so fraught with tension because 'I don't wanna like get into this, you know? It's like this is transactional. But yes. Your point about what is it like for the stylist, they must probably not care cuz they're dealing with it all day long. But 'I do feel A' sense, especially because 'I go to Supercuts that they probably are.

Recognized as human beings A' lot. Like there is something about if you're spending less than 30 bucks on A' haircut, it doesn't rank that high to you. So you probably like don't think of it that high. And so what is the experience of the person that's serving that clientele? You know? So 'I do always feel A' pressure to like not be annoying or not be A' bad customer, you know,

[00:09:23] Chelsey Donn: Right. You wanna be respectful, but you also wanna be left alone, which is perfectly acceptable.

[00:09:29] Trey Gerrald: always want to like acknowledge that they are breathing like 'I wanna like let them feel seen. Cuz that's very important to me. But yeah, 'I didn't know where to go with the, you have wife and kids. Hmm. 'I. Don't know where to go with that. You know,

[00:09:44] Chelsey Donn: like, yeah, 'I. 'I do actually,

[00:09:46] Trey Gerrald: 'I. Think 'I did just say yes. 'I don't even like, because it just, it happened so fast that 'I was just like,

[00:09:51] Chelsey Donn: what 'I usually do. Like when I'm in A' situation like that and they're like, so like you have A' boyfriend. I'm like, yeah, 'I have A' boyfriend. He's great. You

[00:09:59] Trey Gerrald: you go. Anyway, that's my Complaint small talk. It's uncomfortable. Ugh. It's

[00:10:04] Chelsey Donn: 'I get you

[00:10:05] Trey Gerrald: So what about you? What's your Complaint this week?

[00:10:08] Chelsey Donn: well this week 'I wanna complain about A', like A' tale as old as time, but really in this case, it's like 'I don't have anyone to blame, which sort of makes it worse, you know? But it's that moment. When you go to the bathroom and you realize that you're at A' toilet paper

[00:10:27] Trey Gerrald: on my list. 'I hate you so much.

[00:10:29] Chelsey Donn: and you like pull that last sheet, like there's something about that last sheet of toilet paper. It's just like not usable at that point. So like maybe in my head, 'I was like when 'I left it there, 'I was like, oh, there's like A' little bit, but it's never. Never adequate to do any kind of A' job. And so it's just very annoying.

And then for me, because it's like just me, I'm like, all right, well what do 'I do now? Like 'I gotta figure out A' way to get to the hallway where my like spare toilet paper is and it's just an A' annoying thing. And 'I think A'. Lot of people. When they have A' spouse or A', significant other or A' roommate that they share A' bathroom with, it's like easy, like to blame the other person.

Like what an asshole, 'I can't believe. They like left me in this situation and I've been there, you know, certainly. But in this point in my life, it's just me. Like I'm, why am 'I doing this to myself? 'I have no one to blame.

[00:11:27] Trey Gerrald: Well, why? Why don't, why do you keep the toilet paper so far?

[00:11:31] Chelsey Donn: Because 'I only have so much storage, and really it's just like 'I keep, let's say 'I keep like three rolls in the bathroom and then 'I keep the backstock. But like sometimes you've gone through the three rolls and you're just not really paying attention. So you run out and then you're like, Ooh, backstock in the bathroom, and then that backstock is not there.

So you're like, oh, shoot,

[00:11:52] Trey Gerrald: reasons, right?

[00:11:52] Chelsey Donn: shit, whatever. What am 'I gonna.

[00:11:54] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:11:55] Chelsey Donn: 'I 'I. Mean 'I have A' B day, not to be gross, but like 'I have A' B Day. So 'I don't end up in like that kind of A' situation. But still it's like you wanna feel like you're like, you know, properly cared for. So

[00:12:07] Trey Gerrald: And you don't want to do any of those weird, um, it makes me think of like soccer players for some reason, but like the side to side running that people do on treadmills, like

[00:12:15] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah. You're like doing the doing A' shimmy shake to try and dry yourself off. Yeah.

[00:12:20] Trey Gerrald: I've definitely been there. 'I have it on my thing too, and I've always just sort of not wanted to bring it up cuz it's gross.

But yes, it happens all the time.

[00:12:28] Chelsey Donn: it is 'I mean it's gross, but like let's normalize it cuz God, like this happens to everyone. Right? 'I mean whether you live on your own or you don't.

[00:12:36] Trey Gerrald: well you took the very humble route of like, in your house. My Complaint was when you go into A' public bathroom and it's out. Cuz then you're just sort of like, what am 'I supposed to fucking do?

[00:12:48] Chelsey Donn: Or when you go to the public bathroom and they have like that second role, but it's impossible to, you need to take like an s A' T in order to get the second role to move forward or whatever. And you're like, 'I can't, 'I can't do math in A' situation like this.

[00:13:03] Trey Gerrald: 'I have A' jump off conversation about this, that I'm gonna um, save

[00:13:06] Chelsey Donn: Save for the after

[00:13:07] Trey Gerrald: it's A' little um 'I. It's A'

[00:13:09] Chelsey Donn: It's A' little after show worthy.

[00:13:11] Trey Gerrald: show 'I. You

[00:13:12] Chelsey Donn: Okay. All right. Fair enough. Now you guys know what happens in the after show if you're not A' member of Patreon. We get blue, we get dirty, we get raunchy, we get cury.

[00:13:21] Trey Gerrald: Kirsty Kiy

[00:13:23] Chelsey Donn: cury, cury, we lay all the tea out on the line in the after show, so can't wait to hear it.

[00:13:29] Trey Gerrald: Should we go into some um, wait. 'I was gonna, 'I was gonna be cute. 'I was gonna say, before we get Cury Cury, should we get judgey? Judgey?

[00:13:36] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, that's my favorite. 'I. Love getting dodgy, dodgy fur. Sure.

[00:13:41] Trey Gerrald: do it.

[00:13:43] VOICEOVER: Review, That, Review.

[00:13:47] Chelsey Donn: Sorry. . 'I. Keep biting my tongue. 'I. Don't know why 'I. Keep doing that. Okay. Anyway, as you know, we are your trusty Review Queen. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:13:59] Trey Gerrald: We read you A' review. We break it down and rate the impact of that review on A' scale from zero to five crowns. It's A', very regal

[00:14:08] VOICEOVER: Assess. That, Kvetch,

[00:14:09] Trey Gerrald: the button too early. It's A', very regal process that we like to call.

[00:14:15] VOICEOVER: That, Kvetch.

[00:14:17] Trey Gerrald: All right, ChelseyBD, what have you got for us?

[00:14:20] Chelsey Donn: Well Trey today, 'I have A' review. Quick backstory. So 'I work as an assistant in my like survival job and my assistant's daughter was going to Yosemite and 'I thought, oh, Yosemite, that should be like A' fun thing to 'I. Yelp because I'm sure people have written crazy things about Yosemite. And so that's what 'I did.

So 'I went to Yelp and 'I looked for reviews about Yosemite and 'I found this review. It is written by Omar Z. It is A' one-star review from Yelp for Yosemite National Park.

[00:14:57] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:14:58] Chelsey Donn: Here we go. Yosemite National Park is. Not my favorite place to go to because the fact that there is way too much snow and with A', lot of snow, you can easily get your important things lost.

Like your wallet, your cell phone, your car keys, your money, your credit card, your earbuds, your charger, your camera, your SD card with memories, your jewelry like A' ring, A' necklace, A' chain, and A' watch, and many other things to the point where you'll wait till the summer. And the worst part about it is that you need A' metal detector for that shit.

So 'I would not recommend. Going to Yosemite National Park at all because if you need to call someone to know where they are, you actually don't get good service and the hotels are okay, but there's no good service in the hotel. And if you're gonna be driving your vehicle in this area, you will need some wheel chains unless the car is A' for WD and has traction.

Because the road will be slippery during the winter and there are no rails for the uphill road. So if you don't enable the four WD system or don't have the tire chains, there is A'. Good chance that you will fall off the road and get injured or worse killed. And that means that you, if people are in the car with you, there is A'.

Good possibility that. Will face what you are facing and, and trust me, it will be scary for everyone. So do not go to that place. But if you go, wanna go to this place, be my guest,

[00:17:00] Trey Gerrald: Omar.

[00:17:01] Chelsey Donn: Omar 'I. Don't think Omar had much punctuation, if anything in this entire like s. There was A'. Lot of ands connecting things. Just to be clear, if that wasn't coming across in the reading com, isnt ands

[00:17:17] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God.

[00:17:21] Chelsey Donn: Me alert Rich, rich, alert,

[00:17:23] Trey Gerrald: Wait, okay, here comes some ignorance. Where is Yosemite National Park

[00:17:27] Chelsey Donn: It's in California. 'I Think no. Is it 'I? Don't know. Let me be ignorant with you. Yeah, it's in California.

[00:17:35] Trey Gerrald: and what do people, what do people do there? Is it like hiking?

[00:17:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, it's hiking. It's, you're there for the vista.

[00:17:44] Trey Gerrald: So, So I'm A' imagining there's really tall mountains and it's snow on

[00:17:49] Chelsey Donn: They have like waterfalls. You know like when you have those like hikes where you can, you come across A' waterfall, like you're at the top of the mountain top and you get like one of those cool photos like holding A' Warrior pose or like putting your foot behind your head or something that flexible people do.

[00:18:08] Trey Gerrald: So are the, is the mountain range so high that it gets like snow?

[00:18:12] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Yes. So it can get quite cold around this time of year, February, March, January even. It can get cold.

[00:18:22] Trey Gerrald: That's my first question here is like, is it snowing year round? Because this whole thing is about snow

[00:18:28] Chelsey Donn: it doesn't Snow year round. No. It's definitely A' review, it seems like about A' specific time of year. But besides that fact, 'I mean, clearly, Omar is taking this to the extreme

[00:18:43] Trey Gerrald: It's really like an exercise in playing the game. If

[00:18:48] Chelsey Donn: if this Yeah,

[00:18:51] Trey Gerrald: like to such A' degree that I'm like what? Like 'I can't even like, it's like is this for comedy or is this like the most neurotic. , like

[00:19:01] Chelsey Donn: Totally.

[00:19:03] Trey Gerrald: person I've ever heard of. Omar.

[00:19:05] Chelsey Donn: There were 11 people that voted at funny.

[00:19:07] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. 'I. Imagine that's where it's coming from. Can we go through the litany of all of the items that you could possibly lose?

Because 'I started to write and then 'I was like, oh, this is, she's still going.

[00:19:18] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, exactly. Wallet, cell phone, keys, money, credit card, earbuds, charger camera, SD card with memories. Jewelry ring, necklace chain, and watch many other things

[00:19:33] Trey Gerrald: Why would you take your chain

[00:19:34] Chelsey Donn: and also many other things. Ouch. The that. You'll have to wait till summer. So 'I, guess the idea is you have to wait till the ice melts.

[00:19:43] Trey Gerrald: Why are all, why, why are you gonna lose these things?

[00:19:46] Chelsey Donn: Well 'I mean 'I. Think the, first of all, Omar, keep 'I. Don't know. Find A' better system for holding your things. 'I would think, right? Like don't they like sell? I'm sure if you went to r e 'I or something, they sell like one of those fanny packs that goes like under A', snowsuit or some crap like that. But 'I think that the

[00:20:03] Trey Gerrald: you have A' book bag?

[00:20:04] Chelsey Donn: yeah, right?

Or 'I think The idea is that if you're trudging through snow and you have things in your pockets, you're gonna lose things. But. My freshman year of college there was A' Blizzard and 'I lost things in my pocket on Third Avenue. So how are we blaming Yosemite for this

[00:20:22] Trey Gerrald: but don't A'. Lot of these don't. Most of these like Arctic jackets have zipper pockets,

[00:20:27] Chelsey Donn: 'I? Think the idea is that it sucks you in 'I. Don't know 'I mean. Do we think that this is like, it's interesting cuz this is where Omar starts with the review, right?

[00:20:37] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. 'I guess. Okay. 'I. Guess 'I. Just 'I. Don't know much about national parks. I'm from South Carolina. We didn't do national parks. So like 'I, just like 'I. Don't know, like, so, okay, so I'm imagining, are you sleep? Like, are you, what's that called? Camp camping. Are you camping and hiking in the.

[00:20:56] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So you go and you can camp. There's like my client's daughter wet and there's one of those like camping grounds where there's A' shower and kind of like cabins and stuff where they stayed.

[00:21:08] Trey Gerrald: Cabins. Okay,

[00:21:10] Chelsey Donn: But 'I, imagine like some people will bring A' camper. Some people, I'm sure there are places where you can, you know, pitch A' tent type thing.

[00:21:18] Trey Gerrald: Where did Brokeback Mountain take place?

[00:21:22] Chelsey Donn: Oh, 'I don't know.

[00:21:22] Trey Gerrald: Is that Yosemite?

[00:21:25] Chelsey Donn: 'I could look it up.

[00:21:26] Trey Gerrald: Because it wasn't snowy for them.

[00:21:29] Chelsey Donn: Well, 'I think the point is it's not snowy.

[00:21:32] Trey Gerrald: Well, this whole review is about the snow.

[00:21:34] Chelsey Donn: Mountain. Brokeback Mountain is in Wyoming.

[00:21:37] Trey Gerrald: Oh, right.

[00:21:38] Chelsey Donn: In Texas. Yeah. 'I don't know.

[00:21:43] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Well, oh wait. Another thing that 'I thought of in this review, this conversation about the tire chains,

[00:21:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:21:50] Trey Gerrald: we did watch Megan finally.

[00:21:52] Chelsey Donn: Megan. Oh, I'm not watching that. Hell, no. Uhuh. No thank you.

[00:21:56] Trey Gerrald: comedy in my opinion than it is horror.

[00:21:59] Chelsey Donn: no. Thanks.

[00:22:00] Trey Gerrald: nothing scary actually really ever happens. But the whole like inciting incident, they're like arguing about why they didn't put tire chains on and the husband's

[00:22:10] Chelsey Donn: Oh, 'I do know A' friend that drove to Yosemite in the winter and like didn't have chains and ended up in like A' nightmare and got stuck and then it was like A' whole thing. So 'I do know that, like the only thing 'I can say is there are some cautionary tales that are written within this. Like if you're gonna go in the winter, make sure that you're like accounting for your belongings.

Don't just have A' camera around your. When you're trudging through snow 'I, mean 'I, kind of feel like that's obvious, but like sure. You know, make sure that you have tire chains. Make sure that you're prepared to drive in this area in the winter. Right. 'I mean? 'I. Think that like we're taking everything to such an extreme with like the people dying in the car

[00:22:53] Trey Gerrald: Well, that was my next point is like, you will die. What? Like, excuse me.

[00:23:00] Chelsey Donn: 'I know 'I mean. Omar 'I think 'I mean. He's clearly making A' joke here,

[00:23:06] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:23:07] Chelsey Donn: He's clearly trying to be funny, but like is it sus?

[00:23:12] Trey Gerrald: Well, comedy aside, 'I, just feel like it's so specific about A' window of time. Cuz I'm imagining you, like even Omar says, you can go back in the summer to retrieve it, which would mean the snow is depleted enough, so don't go in the snow. Like if you eliminated the snow, then Omar would have to write A' different review.

Right? So then shouldn't Omar's review be. Weather patterns, not about Yosemite

[00:23:40] Chelsey Donn: 'I. Hear you 'I. Mean 'I. Do think A', lot of people do like to go for whatever reason, like maybe it's like very pictures during

[00:23:48] Trey Gerrald: I'm sure that's

[00:23:48] Chelsey Donn: the winter.

[00:23:49] Trey Gerrald: skiing and we love being in A' hot tub in the snow. We love all this stuff, but like, sure, okay, but I'm just saying, what's the value? Unique new information from Omar. Don't go when it's

[00:24:02] Chelsey Donn: Don't go.

[00:24:03] Trey Gerrald: or you'll.

[00:24:05] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. 'I don't know. 'I think that Omar just had like A', 'I think that Omar likes going to national parks, and somebody was like, you should come with us to Yosemite. And Omar was like, I'm down. And then had A' bad experience and lost some stuff and decided to come to Yelp to really let it all out.

So much so that like, we're not taking A' breath, like 'I said, 'I, I'm not, I'm looking through the review again, but 'I don't see A' single period. There's. There's not A' single period in this entire rant. Everything is connected by an and or A' comma.

[00:24:42] Trey Gerrald: Wait, was there one point where you started over or did they, there's one point where they say like, if you go, if you decide to go

[00:24:50] Chelsey Donn: that's it. That's the way they

[00:24:51] Trey Gerrald: Right, yeah. So they obviously, yeah. Well then that's confusing to me because 'I feel like if you were being funny and crafting something, you would probably be stitching the story and narrative together.

So you would be paying A'. But this seems like A' real ramble, so like maybe. , unless it was an exercise and free association, like it just feels like A' silly review. But yeah, we could extract some things like make sure you're prepared if it's the snow and like what are those things called from Apple? little dots. The geo

geotags or whatever.

[00:25:25] Chelsey Donn: on all your stuff.

[00:25:27] Trey Gerrald: So do we think this is truthful or is it shady?

[00:25:30] Chelsey Donn: 'I think it's shady. 'I think it is. 'I think that like whenever we do reviews of these kind of like national landmarks, it always comes down to the same question for me, which is like, who's looking at this? But 'I think that if anybody were going to Yelp to be like, should 'I go to Yosemite? Or should 'I go somewhere else?

'I don't know that they would like glean any information from this 'I. Think they might just be like moving on because. Other than this being like A' cautionary tale, what is it really telling you about the 'I? Mean? Like you don't know any, you don't go to national parks, but you don't know anything more about what one might do in Yosemite from reading this review from Omar than you did going in

[00:26:13] Trey Gerrald: Right. 'I. Like 'I know more about Omar than 'I know about

[00:26:16] Chelsey Donn: A' hundred percent that

[00:26:17] Trey Gerrald: So can we even say if it's common, typical, or fluke?

[00:26:21] Chelsey Donn: we can't really, but it doesn't feel common. 'I think the chains is common. Like needing

[00:26:28] Trey Gerrald: And I'm sure it's, I'm sure losing things is

[00:26:31] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. 'I mean 'I know When 'I was like helping my client's daughter get packed, they were like, don't bring any jewelry. Don't bring your cell phone. Don't bring, you know, so

[00:26:40] Trey Gerrald: Oh good. Nice.

[00:26:41] Chelsey Donn: yeah. So maybe, you know, maybe it is common to lose things 'I don't know.

Very weird. 'I 'I. When 'I read this review, 'I was like, 'I thought it was humorous, but um, 'I thought it was suss.

[00:26:56] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, 'I 'I actually was entertained the whole time and 'I was waiting to see where it was going,

[00:27:03] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:27:04] Trey Gerrald: and it sort of just went to, you're gonna die


[00:27:07] Chelsey Donn: right.

[00:27:08] Trey Gerrald: and anyone you bring with you Will

[00:27:10] Chelsey Donn: We'll also die. So think about that. So think about that,

[00:27:14] Trey Gerrald: Right.

[00:27:14] Chelsey Donn: you know? and that's where it felt kind of like 'I know it's A' joke, right? But it, it felt like kind of manipulative. Like as if you are talking about A' friend or A' friend of me or something. And you're gonna take like the worst thing about that person and really expand upon it and then be like, so think about that next time you wanna hang out with that person, right?

Like it's like if we're personifying Yosemite 'I kind of feel like Omar did Yosemite A' little.

[00:27:46] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Do you think there's any impact for you about Yosemite from this?

[00:27:50] Chelsey Donn: Not really,

[00:27:52] Trey Gerrald: Not

[00:27:53] Chelsey Donn: than like those little details that like, again, I'm not really somebody that would go either, but like 'I, think if A' friend was going, especially in the winter, you know, 'I might say be, you know, don't, don't bring valuables and make sure you have chains. But other than that, which we've stated not really.

[00:28:12] Trey Gerrald: 'I. Think 'I can Crown. Gerd,

[00:28:14] Chelsey Donn: right. 'I can ground O gerd,

[00:28:17] Trey Gerrald: Omer. Z.

[00:28:18] Chelsey Donn: Omar

[00:28:19] Trey Gerrald: All right, so ChelseyBD and 'I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards. In an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:28:30] Chelsey Donn: right. Let's do it.

[00:28:31] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating to A' school.

[00:28:39] Chelsey Donn: Okay, I'm holding up one and A' half Crowns. Trey is holding up A' Half Crown Trey. You go first. Why A'? Half Crown for Omar.

[00:28:47] Trey Gerrald: well, 'I almost considered saying Zero Crowns, which I've never done on the

[00:28:52] Chelsey Donn: fair.

[00:28:52] Trey Gerrald: but 'I gave them A' Half Crown only because it made me in this conversation with you. . Think about Yosemite. What is Yosemite? When would be the best travel time to go to Yosemite? When would probably be the least travel time?

And I'm hearing if 'I wanna climb snowy Alps, then maybe I'll go to like Europe and do that. Like. But 'I don't actually want to, but to say if 'I wanted to, maybe like I'm hearing, don't go to use 'I. 'I. Don't know 'I. Think this is A'. Very silly. Review 'I, think Omar sounds very high strung and very anxious and that's increasing my anxiety, which 'I don't like.

So 'I said A', half Crown, 'I. Wish they had had A'. Little more punctuation. and 'I think it was funny ish. You know, like 'I 'I think they achieved and obviously 'I think they earned those 11 funny votes.

[00:29:48] Chelsey Donn: sure.

[00:29:49] Trey Gerrald: So for, you know, for A' review that ends with, you're all gonna die 'I think ultimately like it's funny enough.

So A' half crown for me. Why did you say one and A' half?

[00:30:00] Chelsey Donn: Um, 'I said one and A' half because, you know, 'I like to give point points for even A' stretch of humor. Um, 'I think Omar was going for something and people seem to like at least wanna stop and vote it funny, which, you know, Yosemite has A'. Lot of reviews on Yelp, not, not as many. Once A' reviews. You know how 'I 'I found this one, but people stopped and gave it A' thumbs up.

So for that, 'I gave it the one and A' half crowns. But like we were saying, not much information about Yosemite itself. So 'I can't really give more than that. 'I wanna know more about the park and the experience outside of the joke. If we're gonna give A' full joke review, it would be nice to have just like A' serious moment of at least, but really.

X, Y, Z, or, but the, this was lovely. You know, there was nothing, no balance here. And so for that reason, one and A' half for me.

[00:30:57] Trey Gerrald: Mia, oh my gosh, Omar 'I. Wonder what

[00:31:00] Chelsey Donn: my

[00:31:00] Trey Gerrald: other reviews are.

[00:31:02] Chelsey Donn: Well, maybe we will, we'll have to look into it and see if all of his reviews are this jokey.

[00:31:06] Trey Gerrald: 'I hope that your, um, your, um, client's daughter has A' better experience than Omar.

[00:31:12] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, me too. Me too.

[00:31:14] Trey Gerrald: We'll have to get there.

[00:31:15] Chelsey Donn: Yes. We'll have to, we'll have to get their input, um, when they get back. They're there right now, so when they get back from their trip, we'll have to hear. But 'I did tell them not to bring valuables, so there's that. Yes. All right. We have reached the most regal portion of our show. Trey, who are you inducting for?

[00:31:38] VOICEOVER: My Royal.

[00:31:39] Trey Gerrald: Why thank you so much for inquiring ChelseyBD today. 'I am super excited to be doing another one of our Patreon. Shout out.

[00:31:51] Chelsey Donn: Our Cheerio cheer.

[00:31:54] Trey Gerrald: Our Cheerio Shia volume two. So today 'I am shouting out one of our actual longtime Patreon members, joy Epson. So 'I contacted Joy to thank them for being A' Queen. So Joy was sharing that they run A' shop called Square Wine and Spirits in Long Island City, Queens.

And Joy is the wine buyer and also has recently become A' wine educator. There. At Square Wine you can actually go and do wine tastings, which is really cute. And on their website the pictures look really cute. Uh, so the next time you are on the East Coast ChelseyBD, we should actually do this. And yes, and joy.

Wants to share with the Queen here that one of her intentionality as A' wine buyer is to always highlight diversity among the wine makers.

[00:32:48] Chelsey Donn: Very cool.

[00:32:49] Trey Gerrald: Like specifically featuring wines from people of color, especially Bipo women and L G B T Q, 'I, A'. People 'I think you 'I don't know that they deliver to you, so you need to be in the tri-state area.

You know, joy is also sharing two of their favorite selections currently at Square Wine. The first one is called A' Lena Wines, and it's from South Africa. This winemaker's name is Natia bi. She has the very first black woman owned winery in all of South

[00:33:24] Chelsey Donn: Wow.

[00:33:26] Trey Gerrald: and Joy is sharing that. The wines are amazing and they're not crazy expensive.

They start around 20 bucks and they are widely available in the United States. So you know, you could buy A' bottle for yourself in California, ChelseyBD and. Their second favorite, or their other favorite 'I should say is Camons to Dreams from California. So this winemaker's name is Tara Gomez, who is indigenous and A' queer winemaker, and owns their winery with their wife.

This is A' Premium Winery. Everything is organic and they make really great gifts. Joyce. So on behalf of Joy, who is one of our incredible supporters, Patreon members, they've been with us for A' very long time, supporting us. We wanna say thank you, joy, for being in our community, and everyone listening, go and support Joy.

Go shop square if you're in the area. Set up A' class. Maybe you can learn from Joy and become best friends and then you know, we can all hang out one day and get drunk on Nits wine from South Africa. I'm into

[00:34:37] Chelsey Donn: Love that I'm into it. Experience the joy of joy at Square Wines.

[00:34:43] Trey Gerrald: Exactly. So for that reason, I'm inducting you Joy, one of our patrons, and the beautiful art of wine making and being more inclusive in the culture of wine, which joy is bringing to square wine.

So go support

[00:34:59] Chelsey Donn: What? A' Queen. Joy. You're A', Royal, patron, and we just so appreciate you. Thank you, thank you. And what an amazing thing you're doing. We'll definitely come and support.

[00:35:10] Trey Gerrald: you have A' favorite wine ChelseyBD?

[00:35:11] Chelsey Donn: um, 'I 'I, just like A' Sauvignon Blanc in general. 'I, I'm not A' Red wine girl myself tend to give me migraines. So if I'm gonna go white, I'm A'.

So blanc through and through, but I'm not like very brand loyal in the terms that I'm like buying the same kind of so blanc all the time. Um, but my, my dad is A' huge. Wino loves.

[00:35:35] Trey Gerrald: do you remember when we were reviewing that one restaurant and we didn't know what. Blush Wine was or something. It was like, oh, A' White, burgundy.

[00:35:44] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:35:46] Trey Gerrald: long to figure that up. We've learned so much on the

[00:35:48] Chelsey Donn: We've learned so much. We're not those people anymore. 'I. Just

[00:35:51] Trey Gerrald: No, not at all.

[00:35:52] Chelsey Donn: That was so

[00:35:53] Trey Gerrald: what Yosemite was.

[00:35:54] Chelsey Donn: Don't, yeah, we don't know things about, now 'I should have done A' little, maybe like Trey level preamble book report at the top. Um, regretting that in this moment, but,

[00:36:04] Trey Gerrald: no shoulds and should, shouldn't ofs. Well, we've done at Queen. That is another round on the A' A' snowy RQ Ferris Wheel of Death.

[00:36:13] Chelsey Donn: Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, what you found do tell A' friend.

[00:36:19] Trey Gerrald: If you didn't like what you heard, what you found, tell an enemy.

[00:36:22] Chelsey Donn: To support the production of our show, visit Review That Review dot com slash donate. You could also visit Review That Review dot com slash donate. Um, it will bring you to the same spot where, uh, even A' dollar tip is much appreciated.

[00:36:37] Trey Gerrald: Join our mailing list y'all over at Review That Review dot com so that you can stay up to date with all of the goings on in the Queen.

[00:36:44] Chelsey Donn: And hit up our voice mailbox. 1 8 50 review zero. Have you been to Yosemite? Did you lose things? Let us know. You can also follow us on all the socials at the Review Queen. 'I am at ChelseyBD

[00:37:00] Trey Gerrald: And 'I am at Trey Gerrald.

[00:37:03] Chelsey Donn: and at Gerard

[00:37:06] Trey Gerrald: And Terry Gerard. Also on today's After Show Pod, we are going to be celebrating St. Patrick's Day by rating and reviewing A' four star Amazon Review four Forum Novelties Once Upon A' Leprechaun adult costume. So to find out what made ChelseyBD say,

[00:37:31] Chelsey Donn: Little T for Patreon only. Um, 'I was at A' premier one time with. And to find out what made Trey say

[00:37:41] Trey Gerrald: also, just like for context 10 and A' half is like very average size for A' male, like average to.

[00:37:48] Chelsey Donn: then join our Patreon page at Review That Review dot com slash Patreon to hear our weekly members only after show companion podcast.

[00:38:01] Trey Gerrald: And remember

[00:38:02] Chelsey Donn: Ignore the haters. You are A' freaking Yosemite Snow Queen.

[00:38:06] Trey Gerrald: gender non-specific. Yosemite freaking snow Queen. Goodbye. Are you.

[00:38:13] Chelsey Donn: bye.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[00:38:32] Chelsey Donn: Do you think that, um, Omar like read this review out loud at like A' bar or like to his friends? 'I don't know. 'I feel like he showed off this review?

[00:38:42] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, 'I feel like Omars probably would've crowned higher.

[00:38:46] Chelsey Donn: Right 'I think Omar would be A' little upset with us, but you know, just have to be honest.

[00:38:52] Trey Gerrald: Omar Guard.

[00:38:53] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.



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